Hear ye, Hear ye! There is a new development in teeth whitening products, and guess what?…oh, you guessed it, I am proudly patting myself on the shoulders for being the bearer of good news. Nah, I’m just kidding, I wish I could take credit for this. I know you probably have eight million partially used whitening products lying around your bathroom (or in my case, my kitchen — I don’t know, it’s weird, but I brush my teeth in the kitchen). How many of them have you actually found that work? If I had to take a wild guess, probably not that many. Maybe you read about the answer to those wine stains in a magazine, or your girlfriend told you about the be-all end-all for eliminating every tooth-ular trace that you smoke the occasional cigarette. Clearly, the world was bullshitting you because your teeth still look like they bathed in a tobacco/merlot/coffee melange of good times.

If you weren’t aware, GoSmile products are about the only at-home products (from those we’ve tested) that make a real difference. I don’t know what it is, technically – maybe a combination of the white cranberry powder, naturally derived hydrated silica, and sodium something-whosawhatsis — but whatever it is that shit works, and I can say that from personal experience. I use the am toothpaste, the pm toothpaste, and if they had a midday toothpaste I’d probably use that as well. You’d never know all the horrible things I do to my enamel…ha ha ha…I finally have a dirty little secret!

Anyhow, just when I thought that GoSmile couldn’t make me smile any more…oh, they have. This month the GoSmile family is packaging its morning rush am mini toothpaste in a candy-colored pink tube with the oh-so-signature pink ribbon tattooed right on the front. For a limited time (as long as the little pink lovelies last), GoSmile will donate 100% of the profits from the sale of these pink tubes to several breast cancer charities including EIF’s Women’s Cancer Reasearch Fund and The Susan G. Komen Foundation. Just in case you don’t read numbers, that’s ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the profits. If that’s not good-doing, I have no f-ing clue what is.

The tiny 1oz tube is tres portable, so you can take it with you everywhere you go. And it tastes fabu also – lemon, lime, orange, and mandarin essential oils topped off with some peppermint. Is this toothpaste or the next cosmo? Of course, it also whitens your pearly yellows – I wish everything in life was this easy, effective, and well, awesomeness times five.

No, you don’t have to go out of your way to find my new favorite product…I know you’re going to be at Saks, Nordstrom, and Sephora anyway – and don’t even lie about it, cause I saw you there, like, yesterday. Or pick up this and other GoSmile goodies online at http://www.gosmile.com. And it’s only $5.00 – so buy a lot of them. Get whiter teeth and make your contribution to the fight against breast cancer. That should definitely give you something to smile about.

REMINDER!

September 30th is CUPCAKE DAY at the new Bond No. 9 store on Bleecker Street. The first one hundred shoppers to snap up one of the Bond No. 9 signature scents at their new store get a free cup of cake from the Magnolia Bakery. You’re soooo vanilla with chocolate frosting. Their new digs are directly next door to the bakery…so, really, you can’t miss it because who can walk down Bleecker Street without walking past the Magnolia Bakery? Oh, you can? Yeah, right. Shut up. It’s ok, neither can I.

Have a cupcake for me, yeah? Oh, and if you want to send gifts, I’m a Riverside Drive kinda gal.

Bond No. 9, 399 Bleecker Street, right next door to you-know-what.

Today’s City Pulse is another “in-your-face, screw you, damn the man Katrina” Pulse. As long as there are still efforts out there to help the victims of Katrina, good ‘ole me will continue to tell you about them.

It just so happens that I believe you’ll really enjoy these efforts and, for just this once, all that money you’re going to spend is totally selfless.

So, how right-this-minute hot is the LES? Yeah yeah, I know it’s always been on the hipster radar, but now we’re letting everyone else in on the secret, and apparently it’s spreading like wildfire. But, chances are everyone you talk to still knows something that you don’t, or already considers your new tip sooooo been there done that. You’re, like, perpetually five minutes too late to be truly considered LES cool. Well, try this one, and see if for el premier tiempo you’re the one spreading the wealth of hipster LES knowledge. Shop is donating 20% of the proceeds of all sale items to the Humane Society’s Katrina relief efforts through October 16th. In the event you’re not sure what Shop is…it’s, well, a shop that sells FABULOUS everything you could want for every part of your body. I personally was eyeing a killer leather handbag in there the other day, and no I’m not going to tell you what it looked like in case y’all try to go in there and copy my ass. If you like my taste thus-far, you won’t be disappointed in your treasure hunting at Shop, and how could you go wrong when proceeds from the SALE items are being donated to help victims of Katrina. Seriously, you’re basically an asshole if you don’t go in there and buy something.

Shop, 105 Stanton St., near Ludlow St., 212-375-0304.

…so after all the shopping (a.k.a. good will), you’ve worked up quite the appetite, non?

Well, you’ve helped out so much up until this point, why stop now? On Tuesday, September 27th, restaurants from around the country will donate a percentage of their dinner sales to Share Our Strength’s Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund. Mais, quels restaurants are participating? AHA! I’m so glad you asked, mes cheries. Alain Ducasse, DB Bistro, Gotham Bar and Grill, and Nobu to name a few. All in all there are 169 restaurants in New York that are participating. Do you know how many options that gives you for dinner? None of that “eh, I don’t know where we should eat” bullshit. And the restaurants on the list range from the creme de la creme to crap de la crap. Something for everyone in this world, that’s what I like to see.

Going to be out of town on Tuesday night so you can’t eat out? HORRIBLE EXCUSE. Like i said before–restaurants all over the country are participating.Tell your sister in Boston to go out. Oh, and don’t forget your cousin in Chicago. Please, go out and eat. Save your oven some trouble on Tueday. Eat some sushi. Drink a fabu bottle of red. Or white. Or both. Frankly I don’t care. Just eat, drink, shop, and help those who need it most right now.

For a full list of restaurants, go to: http://www.strength.org

Name one person you know that doesn’t have a subscription to New York Magazine. You can’t, can you? That’s because it’s basically the New Yorker’s unofficial bible. It literally tells me where I should shop, what to eat, where to party, what I need to be waxing now in order to be hip, which New Yorker’s I should hate and why I love hating them. Actually, that would make the editors like…apostles…no? So that means we should all listen intently to what they say because, well frankly, they are a shitload cooler than a lot of people ever will be. OK, I’LL ADMIT IT, THEY ARE ALL COOLER THAN ME. What are you trying to do, send me into MORE years of therapy. Thanks.

These editrices are gorgeous, smart, and so in-the-know. What the hell is sexier than a hot, independent, powerful New York woman who knows everything about…well, mostly everything (at least everything you care about…and maybe even some stuff you don’t care about). Oh, wait, I know. What if said editrices were at a small, private-ish event at a rockin’ cool bar in the LES giving gals like me the insider tips for how to not be a bleating fashion sheep this fall? Whoa, wait a minute, what’s that you’re telling me? MY DREAMS CAN COME TRUE?

Yes, lady loves, all of our dreams can come true. On Wednesday, September 28th, Janet Ozzard, Rima Suqi, and Aja Mangum will be at Libation to teach us all how to strategize our fall wardrobes. Let’s refresh the details of this: you get to hang out and pretend your friends with three of the coolest chicks in Manhattan…while boozing it up with delish appetizers at a mad hot bar in the LES…and getting insider tips for how not to look like everyone else. You’re basically an idiot if you don’t go to this event. Oh, wait, did I mention that you’ll also automatically be entered into a raffle where you could win prizes from Prada, Kenneth Cole, and Rafe? I’m not going to even bother repeating that because…well, if you don’t get how awesomeness this event is, you just can’t be my friend anymore.

It’s $25 at the door, and lasts from 6:30pm – 8:30pm. That is two hours where, honestly, you have nothing better to do. I’m telling you, nothing could be more important. If not for yourself, then do it for all of us. Any time you can reduce the number of women who fall victim to fashion, we can breathe a collective sigh of relief.

There is serious limited availability, so call, like, five minutes ago.

(800) 320-3136

If we had to choose one word to describe Victoria’s Secret’s products, we’d probably select sexy. The company name immediately conjures images of lacy lingerie. But the online site of this Limited subsidiary now offers consumers one-stop shopping with the recent launch of the VS Beauty Book. A collaboration with longtime make up artist and beauty consultant Vincent Longo, the new beauty site will help transition women from sexy to sensual.

What’s appealing about the store is that they’ve trusted an industry expert to help design it, thereby placing hands-on knowledge above market research. In the book, a handful of VS women model looks created by different make up artists, but despite the variations in color and style, they result is always sultry. Longo used rich colors when creating his look on Karolina Kurkova, which was inspired by Italy’s Monica Vitti, a starlet from the 70s; bronze and peach blush tones complement the wearable blue smoky eye but a deep berry red lipstick completes the look, which is both delicate and dramatic.

But what to do if you haven’t a cosmetic guru at your disposal? Well, the beauty of this new store is not the mere fact that you can shop for makeup while downloading files or watching TV, it’s the foolproof setup. The site allows you to imitate every look featured because the products are available in a package – buy one eye shadow or all the products used, they both involve just one click of the mouse.

In addition to the ease, they’ve also compiled an incredible selection of products from SuperSmile toothpaste and Mentha Lip Shine, a lip balm and breath mint in one, to Aura Science Disappear, a product with the acne-fighting underdog, sulfur. But the most incredible characteristic is that their selection yielded an array of products with the most beautiful packaging. Here are a few of our favorites: C.O. Bigelow mouthwash is a pomegranate-color liquid that would beautify any medicine cabinet; the fruity-spicy Yves Saint Laurent Baby Doll fragrance comes in a glam, baby pink bottle; Aura Science’s Silk Brown is a reflective gloss that works on all skin tones; and so as not to disappoint, a winner from their own label, the must-have Victoria’s Secret Mosaic Luminous Blush.

I’ll Drink To That!

If only I could send you all a belated birthday card for this entry – I’M SORRY, I’M LATE. Forgive and forget, OK? You’re going to thank me though when you read this, and…it’s only Tuesday, so you have a lot of time to make up the time. I know, the suspense is killing you.

So, as you all know I love me a good meal. I love me even more a glass of gorgeous wine. Red, preferably, if you were thinking of sending a gift. If there’s anything that New York has perfected, like Sarah Jessica has perfected running through cobblestone streets in Manolos, is a damn fine meal with the perfect accompanying glass of syrah..or merlot…or pinot (even though I feel like pinot’s are so pass-ay). Ah, but who has the time? With so many life obligations, kids, work…I know, I hear your cries. There’s a reason shitty fast food has become the virus that it is.

Well, here’s my gift to you. This week you have no excuses. NO EXCUSES. Monday, September 19 until Friday, September 23 is the Smith and Wollensky Group’s biannual Wine Week in Manhattan. Mais, qu’est-ce que c’est this Wine Week? It sounds heavenly, but could it be true that an entire week is solely dedicated to vino? Why yes, my dears, it is.

During lunch at Smith & Wollensky, Maloney & Porcelli, Cite, The Manhattan Ocean Club, Park Avenue Cafe, or the Post House you can buy tastes of up to ten vintages of vino for $10. Let’s think of all the things you CAN’T buy for $10, and yes, ten tastes of unbelievable wine would normally fall on that list. Jeez, the beer taster at the Heartland Brewery costs more than that, and it leaves you bloated. The wines vary daily, and in some cases are actually poured by the producer himself. Think about that one–a fabulous lunch, $10 for ten wine tastings poured by what could potentially be a very hot man who produces his own wine. Which probably means he has his own vineyard. Yummy.

So, like I said before, I’m sorry I’m a day late on this one. But, you have four days to enjoy — and since the wine changes each day at the restaurants…well…I think y’all need to be scheduling business lunches for the next four days (each at a different joint, so it doesn’t look suspicious — wink, wink).

For more information on National Wine Week, or to learn more about the participating restaurants, go to http://www.nationalwineweek.com

There are very few things in this world that I love…like love love. Shopping in the West Village on one of those “perfect” New York days–you know the kind, when it’s in the mid-70s, sunny, no humidity, a slight breeze…basically when California weather wanted a taste of East Coast goodness. Or, how about walking past a bakery that has just baked a fresh batch of cupcakes…and you take a whif and pretend like you’re eating it (cause your trainer would, like, freak out if you actually ate one). Or maybe finding that perfect scent – you know, the signature scent that is so you that people stand closer to you than they need to (or than you’d like them to).

Do we sense a trend in my lovey-dovey memoires? Either I am a scent-o-phile, a shop-a-holic, or, well…yeah, I guess both. AND SO WHAT I SAY? Damn you for trying to bring me down. Well, on September 30, I say let’s do the naughty–combine our (my) passions, screw the trainer, and carpe diem honey! What am I so excited about, you may ask. Ever heard of a company called Bond no. 9? Yeah, I thought so. Well, guess what? They’re opening their fourth boutique on Bleecker Street right NEXT DOOR to the Magnolia Bakery. Let’s all sing and dance the “this is too f-ing good to be true” song…dance…whatever, you catch my drift.

That’s right. Joining the ranks of my favorite Marc-e-Marc, James Perse, Intermix, and oh-so-many more wallet murderers is Bond no. 9′s new West Village hideout, and Bleecker Street’s first parfumerie. It’s about time, no? The new shop will feature all of the Bond No. 9 signature New York fragrances–all 23 of them. Now you don’t have to shlep all the way to NoHo or the UES for your West Broadway, your Riverside Drive, your Grammercy Park, your Little Italy, or your Bleecker Street, their newest neighborhood scent (oh, you think I don’t know you have a separate one for each day of the week). And to make things even better than you could even imagine, the first 100 customers to buy a Bond no. 9 scent on September 30 receive…oh wait for it…wait for it…a free cupcake from Magnolia Bakery. Don’t believe your eyes, read it again. A FREE CUPCAKE FROM MAGNOLIA BAKERY. The second and third one you’re going to have to buy for yourself.

Now I ask you this: Why in the hell wouldn’t you go down there and shop-ay at Bond no. 9 on Sept. 30? Maybe load up on holiday gifts a few months early. Your sister’s birthday is coming up, too, isn’t it? Yep, thought so. See, it’s all in the name of benevolence, good will, and being proactive. Think of the cupcake like a reward for being the fabulous gal that you are.

All kidding, nudging, and harassment aside, go check it out. Check it out before it gets packed with people who all want your scent. (pssst: and check it out before all the cupcakes are gone). You’ll see me there–if you want to say “hi,” I’ll be the one with the huge shopping bag stuffing my face with the vanilla/chocolate frosting combo of yummy goodness.

Bond No. 9, 399 Bleecker Street (Between W. 11th and Perry)

Magnolia Bakery Cupcakes (in case you needed a little visual stimulation to get you over to the new Bond No.9 store)

It’s always something, isn’t it? Cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry, kids, husbands, boyfriends, obligations. Ugh, I’m exhausted just thinking about it. What the hell happened to me time, huh? Aren’t we good enough and don’t we deserve a little pampering and glam? I know, I know, rhetorical statements just waste time and space. Well, this Monday I say, “screw the world, let’s take care of ourselves!”

Tonight, September 12, Acqua Beauty Bar is hosting a night of “Manicures and Manic Cures,” and if the title of the festivities isn’t enough to drag you there, listen to this (or read…unless you were reading this out loud). Enjoy a special spa evening with Author and Life Coach, Karen Salmansohn, who has been described by the media as “Deepak Chopra meets Carrie Bradshaw.” As if Carrie Bradshaw could be any more fabulous. Karen is going to hold two sessions, one at 7pm and one at 8pm, where she will offer tips to help all us busy busy ladies calm down, slow down, and understand the necessity of a little me time. Seating is limited, so do what you need to do to get yourself there–if it’s stressful, I’m sorry, you can relax once you’re there.

No, no, it’s not free – but it’s pretty damn close. $50 bucks will get you a manicure or pedicure, make-up consultation, and…drum roll please…liquor! Nothing says relaxation like red wine, manis, pedis, and a damn cool chick who understands what makes other cool chicks tick. That was way too rhyme-esque — but you know what I’m saying. You’ll also get 20% off select Sue Devitt Cosmetics and a special gift bag. I cannot speak of what said gift bag will contain, but let’s face it, it’ll probably be awesome.

Acqua Beauty Bar: 7 East 14th Street; New York, NY 10003 — (212) 620-4329.

…Feeling guilty about pampering yourself when there’s so much going on in the Big Easy?

I understand, and don’t blame you. So, before you head off to Acqua Beauty Bar to get a little, give a little at the happy hour to beat all happy hours. Across the nation, bars are hosting “Save New Orleans Cocktail Hour,” where bartenders will be shaking up classic New Orleans style boissons and proceeds will go toward a special tax deductible relief fund established by the Museum of the American Cocktail. The donations will go directly to aid food and beverage industry workers who have lost it all and need to rebuild their lives. It’s just pure awesomeness, and you have no excuse not to go and help out.

New Orleans inspired drinks will start at $10 at participating bars, and you’ve got from 5pm-7pm…you can help a lot of people in two hours, so get sippin’. It’s a great excuse to go out with some friends, get trashed, and help a lot of people. Wondering which bars are hosting the “Save New Orleans Cocktail Hour?” Wonder no longer, my friends. Check out http://www.museumoftheamericancocktail.org/Cocktail200/#bars – it lists every bar ACROSS THE US that is participating. I’m not suggesting you get all crazy and try to make it in each time zone–that’d be valiant, but nutty. However, you may have a libation loving cousin in Aspen who may want to check it out…or maybe a drink guzzling gal pal in Seattle who would love to help out.

If you still feel guilty about helping while you drink, I can’t help you there. But as they say in poker, “winning a small pot is better than losing a big one.” Anything you can do to help is appreciated…even if it gives you beer goggles and you end up going home with your co-worker with the hairy back. Hopefully you’ll end up getting more drunk with nicely painted nails, either way, it should be a great night had by all…!

Lia Schorr’s salon is turning 25! Yes, that means the salon was born in 1980, and no, I am not writing this for the sole purpose of bringing up those fab memories of mani’s and pedi’s a la side ponytails and cheap gold lame. You know you remember. I’m writing to honor the salon’s anniversary, and to spread the news about how Lia Schorr is celebrating their anniversary with us.

Treat yourself to a customized facial, hot stone massage, AND parrafin manicure package. Yes, all three treatments. Your facial can either be a deep-pore cleansing facial, a nourishing facial, and anti-aging facial, or a seaweed facial. Clearly the anti-aging facial is doing good things for the Lia Schorr Salon’s skin, because I wouldn’t have guessed it was a day over 20. The hot stone massage is just pure relaxation goodness, and the paraffin mani is a normal manicure with a heated skin-smoothing treatment to make your skin extra soft.

“But what is the cost?” you ask…I’ve been leaving the good part for last.

Until September 30, this package is $110 – yes, for all three treatments. The package normally runs $210, so you’re not only saving yourself some grey hairs by spending several hours at a spa, you’re saving yourself some beaucoup bucks as well.

You can get more information at http://www.liaschorr.com/spa_promotions.htm, or call the salon directly at (212) 486-9670.

Relax. Enjoy. And you can keep the thanks a-comin’.

Cinema Tuesdays at The Alliance Francaise – frankly, a much better idea than left-over Chinese food Tuesdays. On September 13, the film Celine et Julie vont en bateau (Celine and Julie Go Boating) will be playing at FIAF/Florence Gould Hall. Directed by Jacques Rivette, and starring Juliet Berto, Dominique Labourier, and Marie-France Pisier, this 1974 French classique is making a 2005 comeback, and we all should relish it. IMDB says that ce film is about “A mysteriously linked pair of young women find their daily lives pre-empted by a strange boudoir melodrama that plays itself out in a hallucinatory parallel reality.” Um, hi, fabulous. The Alliance describes the film as ” A shy librarian meets a nightclub magician who takes her into a world of adventure and imagination.” Ok, weird, yes, but, um, fabulous! I love those looney francais.

The film is in French with English subtitles–yes, that will involve some reading if you don’t parlez francais, and it should be worth every minute. And with three showtimes (12:30, 4:30, and 8pm) you really don’t have an excuse to miss it. Besides, La Goulue is right up the street, and they have a terrific wine and cheese thing happening. Make a French night of it.

Location: Florence Gould Hall – 55 E. 59th Street (between Park and Madison).
Tickets are free for FIAF members, $7 for students, and $9 for general admission.

For information call: 212-355-6160

Summer has been all about excess. The never-ending array of pool parties and backyard barbeques with too much food and drink. Fun in the sun to the extreme. The changing of the seasons is good time to make some change changes in your lifestyle too, some subtractions and some additions, so that you transition into the autumn season revitalized. Give your body a fresh, new start for the upcoming months, by mending the “damage” of the summer over-indulgence. A good cleanse is just the answer, to rid your body of the impurities it has accumulated throughout the wild and crazy summer.

Diane Williams, a fellow trainer and friend, introduced me to the Isagenix cleanse. She walked into the gym one day full of energy and vigor, grinning from ear to ear. “What are you so happy about?” I asked. “I am on a 9-day cleanse” she exclaimed, “and I have so much energy and feel great.” “Are you fasting?” was my next question. She explained that it wasn’t a fast. The first two and the last two days you drink a nutrient-enriched, aloe-vera based beverage. You may also eat organic apple slices, raw veggies, such as celery and almonds, if you are feeling hungry. In between those days, you consume nutritional shakes and healthy meals.

Why should one do a cleanse? A cleanse is to prepare the body to absorb nutrients and digest foods more efficiently. It helps to re-balance the body, thrown off balance by impurities from food, alcohol, pollutants, etc. Balancing the body equals more energy and burning fat more readily.

Skeptical, but curious to see what it would do for me, I had to try Isagenix. Not necessarily to lose a lot of weight but to obtain the vitality I have been lacking for quite a while.

Both Diane and I found, with the cleanse, we did not need as much sleep and we slept deeper, feeling revitalized in the morning. Diane found and still finds she has stronger and faster workouts. I found I didn’t crave sugar as much. I did the cleanse while “PMS-ing”, so to lose 3 lbs and not have my typical cravings during “that time of the month” was an added bonus.

Diane has since done several cleanses losing a total of 28 lbs since June 8.

Like many of us, she has been yo-yo dieting a great deal in her life. This is the first program that she has lost weight comfortably and easily with, while maintaining energy and a normal lifestyle.

She was so impressed by the results that she actually joined the Isagenix company so that she could spread the word and her passion for the products.

She has met many people who have their own amazing stories associated with Isagenix.

One of them was Alex, an overworked, stressed architect, who was putting in far too many hours. His health was in jeopardy. He had gained almost 100 lbs while at his firm and knew he needed to do something quickly. A friend introduced him to the Isagenix cleanse. He decided to do the 30-day cleanse under his doctor’s supervision. He had blood tests done before and after the cleanse. At the end of it, he had lost 22 lbs and all his follow up blood tests came back better than before the cleanse. He too had much more energy and got a better night’s sleep.

Rosemary, a PR representative and one of Diane’s clients was skeptical at first, even though she had seen Diane’s incredible results. She needed both a physical and emotional boost to her life, so she tried the cleanse, with her doubts and all. Rosemary was pleasantly surprised at the initial ease of the first couple of days. In the following days she was able to handle the stress from work so much better, she told me she was at the top her game, again! She lost weight and inches and is completely sold on Isagenix. She has done a total of two cleanses and feels wonderful.

I was interested to see what the results were for a male who was relatively young and fit already. Amit, is 30 years old and a futures trader by profession. He has been working out for about 15 years. Amit says no product has ever given him the results that Isagenix has. He has already shaved off about 10 lbs of fat, while retaining all his muscle. He has seen an increase of energy even though he cut his caloric intake. He has continued on the products, cycling on and off to maintain his leanness, while continuing to lose more body fat. He gets full much faster, therefore he doesn’t eat as much. He will cleanse for a day if he goes out and indulges on the weekend. For the most part, he has stuck to healthier, smaller portions of food, thanks to Isagenix.

You too can make a healthy transition into autumn purging your body of harmful impurities. All this while you camp comfortably in your personal space and possibly lose some weight as well. To give Isagenix cleanse a try or for more information, contact Diane Williams at: 800-216-4353 or dianevanwilliams@hotmail.com . You can also visit her website at www.slimandhappy.isagenix.com. An alternate website for information and to request product is www.Kingisalluneed.isagenix.com.