To be or not to be – been there done that. But, to stay or to stay – ok, clearly a rhetorical question, but let me tell you where you’re going to be rhetorically staying. The Hotel on Rivington. Riving-where? Yes, Rivington. The Hotel on Rivington opened on September 6th – makes it fresh and so clean, clean … and just screams fabulousness. In case you’re wondering, I was there tonight and checked it out myself, so this is a premiere personne account, peeps.

Located on Rivington (hello Captain Obvious, Protector of All things Known) between Ludlow and Essex, the Hotel takes rank as the first top notch hotel to inhabit the LES. El door-o’s were opened for me, and I strolled on in on a red carpet through a vestibule type thing that made me feel like the Queen of the party. To the right: Thor, the “hello, you’re phenomenal” restaurant headed up by chef Kurt Guttenbrunner. In case you were wondering, no it’s not an ode to Vikings of yore: Thor = The Hotel On Rivington. I love me some acronyms even though I’m terrible at them (from the gal who at one time in her life, years and years ago, thought OPEC was a plea from Aunt Bea for Opie to Please Eat Cake).

So, you’re feeling like getting out of your cramped apartment for the night – should I stay here? Mais, oui mes cheries. The rooms run from $325 to $5,000 per night, and range in size from “regular” to “penthouse.” Regular rooms are located on floors 3-8 of the hotel, and offer your basic “I need a place to sleep” room. They offer either a single king size bed or two doubles, some of the rooms have balconies, and you’ll get a true dose of Manhattan when you hear Drunky McDrunk leaving Verlaine at 4am on Saturday morning. Medium size rooms are located on floors 7-15, and offer unadulterated views of Manhattan. Some have deep, yummy tubs, others crazy-ass views. In my humble opinion, the main difference between regular and medium is – Drunky McDrunk at 4am on Saturday morning. Do you want to be all up in his jock, or slightly more removed from his fabulous self?

Large rooms, located on floors 15-20 offer outward facing showers (“wazzzuppp East River, I’ll show you a…..”), king size beds, deep tubs, and phenomenal views. Let’s face it, in Manhattan, the higher you get the more phenomenal the view. ‘Tis a fact of life. Unique rooms are where it starts gettin’ gritty – not only are we dealing with large private terraces, huge yummy beds, sweeping views, and god knows what else, I offer you the 3-person show. Menage-a-Herbal Essence, anyone?

So what are we left with? That would be the Suites, Owners Suite, and the Penthouse, bitch. Suites offer a separate living room, 2 flat screen TV’s, a guest corner, a shower for two, and an all glass bedroom. As I sit in my studio apartment filled with two human adult bodies and a cat, I say to myself “I’d take just one flat screened TV….” The Owner’s Suite – I like to think Paul Stallings and I are close friends and lends this to me on weekends even though I’ve only seen him from afar – is 1000-square feet and spans the entire 17th floor. I know you were thinking you needed an all glass master bathroom, walk-in closet, private bedroom and living room, and an additional bedroom with four bunk beds each equipped with its own flat screen TV. Guess what? I found something for you. Yep, the Owner’s Suite. It’s by special request only. So I’d personally go special request it now.

And that leaves us with the Penthouse – mmmm, Penthouse. 2,500-square feet, three stories, and 360 degree views of Manhattan. Enough said. OK, it also has a fire place in the master bedroom, tempur-pedic mattresses, a 2-person tub, an 8-person Jacuzzi and outdoor on the landscaped rooftop, and room for 125 of your closest friends in the world. If that isn’t enough to convince you of why I want to live there, I’ll only say this: I sit in my studio apartment filled with two human adult bodies and a cat.

So, you’re living it up in luxury, but your hungry and in dire need of a drink. Where should you go? Right….Thor…..downstairs……People who live in New York are traveling there from all parts of all boroughs to live it up, and you’re right upstairs – no brainer, no? The drinks are very reasonably priced and tres delicious. I felt totally decadent sitting in there – I felt like I was basking in a ball of lace. I don’t know why, and I’d love your feedback to see if anyone else felt the same way. I particularly loved how there aren’t any “conventional tables” – meaning, there are tables, some chairs, and mainly couches. Yep, you’re eating on the couch like mama told you not to do. Rebellion is my middle name, yo. The food is unbelievable, and overall, I think you’ll thoroughly enjoy the Thor experience – both Thor’s – the hotel and restaurant. Please, oh please, invite me to your party in the Penthouse. I’ve been a good girl, I promise. But, I could be naughty if it’ll get me invited to the Penthouse.

www.hotelonrivington.com

Boo!

Casper has a second cousin who has taken up shop in Manhattan. I guess she’s been living here since 2000, but I just met her, so … she’s new to me. Ghost, opened up shop in SoHo on Bond Street after being ultimately successful for approx. 15 years in London – un autre boutique state-side, c’est uber fab, no? Let’s just say that when I walked in there, um, I wanted to steal everything. Literally everything.

Why was I there? What, you think I’m not fabulous enough to wear their ultra chic girly dresses and yummy everything else? Ha ha – Piss off! I was there because I was invited to a fashion show sponsored by the super-chic clubs Pangaea & The Gryphon (www.pangaea-lounge.com). And guess who hooked up the models’ hair and makeup? Yeah baby…BeautyNewsNYC had the girls rockin in hair by Lori McKeon and makeup by Kevin Moore.

I know, I know, it must have been a HUGE event if el moi was there – but Rebecca Mader (Devil Wears Prada Movie Goddess), Bettina Zilkha (Ultimate Style Guru), Lauren Ezersky (Velvet Rope Maven), Petrina Kashoggi (It Girl), and Janice Combs (a.k.a. Mama Diddy – and if you didn’t know that, you aren’t hip enough to continue reading this) were there, too. Mmm, hmmmm, that’s right – yours truly was hob-knobbing with some great chicks with a lot of Bacardi Big Apple liquor in-hand. Which, on a side note, was tres delish.

I’m sorry we couldn’t invite y’all to the party, but I’ve included some photos so you can get a glance at the action – live vicariously, baby, that’s my motto. I, unfortunately, am not in any of the photos. Yours truly arrived fashionably late, and I like to keep it anonymous like that. If I don’t have that element of mystery, what’s going to keep them guessing? Answer me that, huh?

I do invite you, however, to go to the Ghost store on Bond Street (never know who you’ll bump in to down there) and to check out their website. No joke, I’m obsessed, and am planning on spending my entire Christmas gift on dresses from Ghost. Fingers crossed Grandma gives me something good!

So, I don’t want to point out the obvious or anything but … exercise isn’t exactly awesome. Personally, I think it’s bullshit, and I wouldn’t do it if society’s crap-ass told me that it is perfectly acceptable to consider channel surfing physical activity. It’s just not enjoyable – granted, you get to buy cute outfits in which to exercise, but then they get all f-ing sweaty and it’s not like all of us are blessed with washers and dryers in our apartments so you’re wearing the same few sweaty items until laundry day rolls around. And then, of course, we inevitably pull something and just hope to god it doesn’t make us walk funny the next day. And then it’s all shot to hell in a handbasket because I’m so damn proud of myself for exercising that I then go out and get a burger from the Corner Bistro with some fries and a McSorley.

Ok, so I know that there are clear benefits to exercising or everyone wouldn’t be doing it – peer pressure rocks! But, among those who do exercise our burger demons there are different levels – those who begrudgingly partake, those who gladly participate, and those who can’t live without it like a newborn without a nipple. I like to put marathon runners into that last category. Defend it all you want, but any activity that may or may not result in peeing blood is just psycho … in my humble opinion, of course.

So, where am I going with this??? Great question. Ever heard of Silk Day Spa? It’s totally faboo – and this shouldn’t be a case of peer pressure rocks because I’m right and you should just believe me. So, in honor of the impending marathon season (if there is a marathon season, it might just be a single marathon…which would probably be the New York Marathon…let’s face it, it’s not like I know the difference), Silk is introducing two new specialized massages just for you psychotic runners: The Silk Pre-Marathon Tune-Up and The Silk Post-Marathon Detox Massage.

The pre-marathon massage, being offered from November 2 until November 5, uses techniques such as jostling, vibration and tapotement to invigorate your muscles before you destroy them…again, only my humble opinion. The massage includes a 40-minute massage and a 20-minute reflexology treatment.

The post-marathon massage, being offered from November 6 until November 10, focuses on healing and soothing your abused muscles – the exact opposite from the pre-marathon massage that wanted to jazzercise you up for the main event. (I’m all for the soothing and healing shit, you?). This massage also concentrates on detoxing your muscles and re-oxygenating them so as to eliminate the metabolic toxins quicker. Yes, apparently your muscles develop toxins due to exercise. But it’s awesome for you, so keep running.

Each of the massages lasts for one hour, and costs $120 each. Sports massage is one of the more underestimated tools available to atheletes (a.k.a. crazy people) today. I don’t understand why? I say skip the wear and tear and go straight to the massages. Do you think anyone would notice if I slipped in there and told them I running the marathon in my mind?

Silk Day Spa: 47 West 13th Street. Call for an appointment at (212) 255-6457. For more information, check out http://www.silkdayspa.comwww.silkdayspa.com

So, hi, how much do we love Kiehl’s? Yeah, a lot, I know. Now, I know this may be hard to believe, but I’m going to tell you why you’re going to love Kiehl’s even more than you already do. One word: grapefruit. Mmmmm, grapefruit. I like mine cut in half with a little bit of sugar. You? Oh, you like yours as a hand and body cleanser in a lovely pump bottle. That’s so funny, because Kiehl’s just introduced a new grapefruit hand and body cleanser in an awesome pump bottle. Apparently it’s your lucky day. You should buy a lottery ticket.

And, on top of it all, it’s a fab cleanser – it’s made with humectants which leave the skin moisturized even though you scrub the crap out of it trying to rid yourself of the dirt and filthy New York grime. I know, I know…the subway poles are my worst enemy, too. And, it’s not tested on animals, which is a good thing. I really hope none of y’all buy anything that’s tested on animals – unless it’s, like, a cockroach or something because those little f-ers are narsty.

Hmmm, I know there’s something else about this product that is awesome…what was it again? OH, THAT’S RIGHT – 100% of the proceeds from this hand and body cleanser are being donated to benefit YouthAids, an organization that is working with more than 60 countries in trying to protect youth from the horrible disease. 100% is a lot of percent, people, so do a good deed (and treat yourself while you’re at it).

What, you want to know how much the product is so you can know how good you’re being to the world when you buy some just because you love Kiehl’s and grapefruit smelling yumminess so much? Hi, run-on sentences are our friends in case no one told you. The 6.8 fl. Oz bottle is $15.00. A 4.2 fl. Oz bottle of Creme de Corps is $15.00 also, so really, you’re getting a phenomenal deal here peeps. And it’s all going to a great cause. I feel like Angelina Jolie already. If only the cleanser came with her lips, body, and boyfriend…

www.kiehls.com

www.youthaids.org

Remember all those long and delicious nights at Park Avalon we used to share? No, neither do I because they had a killer cosmo, didn’t they? You may have noticed I’m using the past tense. Yes, it’s sad but true, that Park Avalon has closed its doors after a decade + 1 in Manhattan. But, like the Manhattan foodie scene goes, out with the old and in with the new, and this case is no different. Mais, what could possibly fill Park Avalon’s 18th street shoes?

Bark 18, that’s what.

The newest member of the B. R. Guest family is opening TODAY in the house Park Avalon built. I can’t say that newer is better, but, well, let’s face it we all love new and shiny things. Bara 18 will feature delicioso Spanish cuisine (with Catalan and Mediterranean influences) and tapas. And stop sweating, of course they have an amazing wine list, featuring some of the best Spanish wines Spain has to offer – and Spain’s offered us quite a few, and I can tell you these are some of the best. The killer part is that Bark 18 is being headed up by Chef Eric Ripert – name sound familiar? It should, because he also runs the kitchen at Le Bernadin.

Sound too good to be true? But wait, there’s more!

Enjoy dinner at Bark 18 between October 18th – October 24th or lunch from October 31st – November 6th (lunch service starts on the 31st – I know you’re excited, but HOLD YOUR HORSES and eat some dinner) and receive 20% off all food and beverage. Whoa, what’s that I write? 20% off all food and beverage. You get to eat at a brand spanking new/hot off the oven Manhattan restaurant and get a discount on your meal. Now that’s an f-ing dream come true if you ask me.

You can take a look at the restaurant at www.brguestrestaurants.com. Call them ahora to make your reservations at (212) 533-2500.

Hey, on a side note, I’m a good guest, and I’m always open to being invited to dinner (hint hint hint hint hint).

Bark 18, 225 Park Avenue South at 18th Street

An Alluring Proposition

I saw this, and wanted to share. It’s only a quick tidbit, but…sheesh, y’all are getting greedy now!!! This one’s really quite fab though, so enjoy it and thank me in the morning. Allure Day Spa’s Fall Exfoliage Facial is on sale for $95 (it’s normally $115 – that’s what I like to call a bargain, bargoney, bargarama…).

You have until All Hallow’s Eve to get the facial at the special deal price. I’d call and make your reservation now. You don’t want to end up like all those poor saps who called for Spamalot tickets in March and are just seeing it now in October (as you can tell, that happened to me, and I’m still huffing about it).

Allure Day Spa: 139 E. 55th St., between Lexington and Third Aves., 212-644-5500.

Get a Whiff of This!

To toast Fragrance Week, Bar Chef Jerri Banks is creating specialty cocktails that will be served at Williams Sonoma at The Time Warner Center this Thursday at a special event that begins at 6 pm…sharp!

You’ll hear all about notes, sensory descriptors and know how to make scents of how fragrance touches every part of our life – from food to cocktails.

Jerri will be part of a three person panel which will include Isabel Lopes from Takasago perfumer and Lynn Bound from Great Performances Catering. You’ll be able to mix and mingle while listening to this panel while actually being able to taste what the perfumer is talking about – hint: Jerri is shaking up cocktails with BACARDI Limon, BACARDI 0, BACARDI CoCo and BACARDI VANILA. The evening should be fabulous all around.

When I say “launch,” what is the first thing that comes to your mind? Well, regardless of what comes to your mind, I’ll tell you what comes to mine. Initially I do the cliche thing, which is NASA, of course. Unoriginal? Yes. Honest? How could I be anything but? So the second thing that comes to my mind is the launching of a new product line. How fabulous is that? To launch a new product line? The pressure, the anticipation, the excitement, the free samples! Oh, I feel giddy just thinking about it. Taking that thought to the next level, you could launch just about anything — a new company, a campaign, a something else I’m sure, but for some reason I’m drawing a blank. Why am I drawing a blank, because at this point the only thing I can get in my head is: Ladies Who Launch. No, not lunch. LAUNCH.

Qu’est-ce que c’est Ladies Who Launch? Launch what, these ladies do? Well, as a strong -minded career lady like myself, we can launch anything damnit, so screw you for doubtin’. Ok, defensive mechanisms down thundercat. Behind every great company, every great idea, and every great probably everything is an intelligent and driven lady. I’ve personally always wondered how they got their start – out of curiosity and sheer jealousy, a little bit (I sooooo want it to be me, please let it be me). Well, the unknown is unknown no longer.

Ladies Who Launch is an event being held in New York City on October 20th where the genius chicks behind companies such as Stila, Take Your Daughter to Work Day, and Pythoness Hedge Fund are coming together to share their wisdom behind their big launches. It is an all day event being held at Lotus (heeeeyoooooooo), and goes from 10am – 8pm. Well, the event is from 10pm-6pm – the post-event drinks where guys are invited is from 6pm – 8pm. It’s like “get your career life in order” day meets “oh, god, I need a man day.” Unless of course you already have a man, and in that case, hook a sista up.

Can you really think of a better way to CBS? (that’s networking in my language). Aside from the obvious perks of meeting some seriously kick-ass gals and getting your head on straight about your career, there are some loverly perks that I’d like to share with you. First, LUNCH. Mmmmmmmm, lunch. I know y’all know me to be a huge fan of dinner, but…I can’t lie. Lunch and I have been having a torrid love affair for years. Second, COCKTAILS. Yep, that whole 6pm – 8pm thing. Mmmmmm, cocktails. Third, exclusive discounts, consultations, and access to new products you could only dream of. Fourth, free gift bag. “You had me at gift bag, you…had me….at…gift bag.” Gift bags are only guaranteed with pre-registration, so you might wanna get on that.

http://www.ladieswholaunch.com/eventregistration.cfm?eventid=5

It is $80 to pre-register, and you must be pre-registered by October 19th. If you don’t pre-register, it’s $100. You can also register by phone by calling Holly Campana at 866-411-LADIES. In case y’all know people in Seattle, there is also going to be an event in the rainy city on October 27th. I’ve never been to Seattle, but I’ve always wanted to go. Random fact I thought I would share. Anyhow, when you all become famous entrepreneurial women, promise me this: you’ll hire me. I’m not cheap, but I like to think I’m worth it.

I like to think of the New York department stores as my friends – Bloomingdales, Barneys, Saks, Bergdorf, and Henri – yes, there are others, but they’re more like aquaintances (oh, shut up Macy, you know what you said about me at last year’s Christmas Party). So, as I’m sure you all know, I like to brag about my friends when bragging is deserved and sometimes even when it’s not deserved, but that’s not the case right now. My dear friend Henri – Mr. Bendel to those outside the circle – has two big big things happening at his store that I’d like to share with you. Sharing is caring, and I’m damn happy to do it.

First and foremost – this is clearly the month to flip breast cancer the bird, and Bendel’s is joining in and telling breast cancer to kiss our ass. Alors, I have a question for y’all: Who does not have the Bendel’s signature brown/white striped cosmetic bag? I carry mine with me every day – and I’ll never forget the day I got it. It felt like I was coming home…ah, the memories. Anyhow, chances are you’re reading this and saying, “who doesn’t have one of those bags?” I happen to agree with you, but my hunches tell me there are a few unassuming ladies out there who haven’t gotten the message yet. So, I’m leaving the message after the beep: GET ONE OF THESE BECAUSE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE ONE. Oh, you like to be original and not have something that everybody else and their mother has? Ok, ok…I dig the originality, unique thing. So, why don’t you get the Limited Edition Signature Cosmetic Bag, which not only carries your favorite gloss, but also benefits the fight against cancer by supporting the Young Survival Coalition (YSC). Unlike the classique Bendel bag, this one adorned the famous brown and white stripes, but has hot pink piping and a hot pink zipper. C’est tres fabuleux, non?

The YSC is the only non-profit that is focused on the needs, support, and concerns of breast cancer’s youngest survivors. The Limited Edition bag will retail for $40, and $25 of that will go to the YSC in observance of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For all of you mathematically challenged shoppers, that is more than 50% of the proceeds going to help young survivors, fighters, and supporters. You get a limited edition item from Bendels that is adorable and utilitarian. Uh, hello, it’s fantastique. Actually, I’m sitting here writing this wondering if I have time to go tomorrow to buy one for myself and every strong, amazing female I know. If I have anything to do with it, we all need to kick this big bitch in the ass and get breast cancer out of every single place it is for good.

In case you don’t know where Bendel’s is (and in that case, I’m sorry, you’re clearly deprived), it’s on 5th Avenue at 56th street, and you can always call 800-HBENDEL with questions. I mean, not always always – I’m sure they’re closed at some point…

Second and not second-most because it’s just as awesome as foremost – since you’re going to be going to Bendel’s anyhow to buy you’re limited edition cosmetic bag, you are probably going to want to know that now, right now, is the Bendel’s Fall Denim Event. But, but, what does this mean???? I know, it’s all so much information, let’s process it together, shall we?

The denim event has actually been going on since the middle of last week, but…hey, give me a break, I’m only human, so I’m writing about it now. Meet representatives from your favorite denim companies, get tips on all the hottest styles of the season, maybe some refreshments, oh, yeah, and free gifts (depends on the day, the company, and whether or not you buy a pair of jeans – not going to lie, but let’s face it, you’ll probably buy a pair of jeans).

So, since I missed like five days of this event, you’re probably thinking there isn’t going to be anything left – ha ha ha, you asshole, you’re SO WRONG.

Monday, October 10: Denim For Immortality is in da house where you can meet one of their stylists in person and get a professionals opinion of what your ass looks like in the jeans.

Tuesday, October 11: Meet a stylist from Union Jeans, and beg them to switch jobs with you.

Wednesday, October 12: Salt Jeans stylists’ are moving into Bendel’s for the day, and are going to add some spice to your denim wardrobe (ok, bad pun, let’s move on).

Friday & Saturday, October 14 – October 15: Ta-Da! Rendez-vous with the stylists from Joe’s Jeans, and receive a tote bag with your purchase. On Friday from 5-7 pm there will be music and drinks. Uh, hi … that is so fab, and it ends early enough to hit up happy hour.

Sunday, October 16: Rock & Republic. You & Jeans. Beautiful couples make me tear up just a little bit. Receive a t-shirt with your purchase, which is perfect, because you’re walking away with a complete outfit almost. Yay for nearly complete outfits.

I hate to bring this up, but clearly those free gifts are while supplies last – just so I don’t get any angry emails about how there were no more tote bags. I know I’d be pissed if there were no more tote bags – I get it, I feel your pain.

You can also enter for a chance to win a week of denim, which includes a personalized consultation with some serious denim gurus and your choice of the perfect makes-your-ass-look-like-a-million-bucks-pair-of-jeans for every day of the week. That is, like, soooo much better than winning $5 on a scratch card.

“Cuddles has been sulking away ever since his return from his ‘that trip’ to the vet” whined my friend Esmeralda, for the seventeenth time, on the phone. Having to subject her precious pooch to the necessary but evil procedure was gnawing away at the poor girl’s heart. I had to do something. “Why don’t you throw him a party” I suggested. At my words, Esmie, who has always been a big-time party girl, showed an immediate change in mood. I could almost sense the brightening up of her eyes, even over my pathetic T-Mobile connection.

But even more than enjoying parties, Esmie loves planning and giving successful parties at her beautiful penthouse loft which has got stunning views of the East River as well as of the Chrysler Building. As she rattled away the names of the lucky pups that would make it to the doggie party of the year, she abruptly stopped. “I can’t send them away empty-handed. Suzie, from my building, had gifts for all the dogs she invited to Ditzy’s one year birthday party. But, they were mostly awful. Cuddles got these treats and he wouldn’t touch them. Don’t tell anyone.”

I knew the perfect place to send her. fill-r-up, a customized gift basket service and retail store located on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. Not only do they do baskets for weddings, baby showers, and holidays, they have special themed baskets for the spa and beauty lover, the gourmet cook, and even your beloved family pet (and their friends)! Style, innovation, and quality come together in every one of their creations.

The company is the brainchild of Amanda Poses who, as an event planner at a top fashion company, was often looking for gift baskets for VIP clients and events. In her quest to provide original, unique gift baskets, she found that products never seemed to measure up to the quality items her clientele was accustomed to. As a result, fill-r-up was born.

fill-r-up clients can pick up items a la carte, or let Amanda’s savvy team of experts create gift baskets for all kinds of occasions. Amanda works with the best brands, and personally tests, tries and selects every product that go into the baskets. She also likes to be ahead of the curve with most up-to-the minute gifts, and is always shopping for the latest products.

For the New York Spring 2006 Fashion Week, fill-r-up sent out “Fashion Week Survival Kits” to some of the top editors. Each was customized with the recipient’s monogram, embroidered on the case. The kit included products by Kerstin Florian International, Victoria’s Secret Beauty, Playboy Beauty, and many more to keep the editors going through the week’s hectic schedule of 14-hour days on four-inch stilettos.

Pre-assembled baskets for every occasion are available nationally on the website http://www.fill-r-up.com. Of course, it’s always best to visit the boutique at 197 East 76th Street (212.452.3026).

Today I couldn’t decide what to share with y’all, so I bring ye three very different, yet very special things. How different? How special? Doubtful are we? Well, I promise I won’t fail ya … unless you don’t like what I write, and in that case, I’m terribly sorry you shmuck-a-rama.

Numero 1:
In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, and as a shout-out to the new Apple nano (which, I don’t know about you, always makes me think of Robin Williams), bring you an item that combines one of our favorite causes and one of our favorite melodical addictions. Incase (the leading dudes behind all those spiffy carrying cases for your laptop, iPod, and guitar) has teamed up with DC Shoes and Apple to collectively join efforts to support Boarding for Breast Cancer (B4BC), a foundation that is dedicated to promoting the importance of early detection and the value of a healthy lifestyle. Early detection is one thing, because your boyfriend/husband totally checks for you every day; but a healthy lifestyle might mean giving up the “New York” drinking, smoking, and rolling in at 6am after a long night lifestyle you’ve been rocking for the last god knows how many years. Sorry, no judgement, I’m just pointing it out. Power to you sistas.

I’m not going to lie, when I first read this, I was like, “they made a pink shoe to carry your laptop in?” Ha ha. No. Not 100% off, but really, I was nowhere close. Ladies and Ladies, I present to you the Incase Breast Cancer Awareness iPod case that features the famed pink ribbon straight across the front. I know I did a shout-out to nano earlier — wuzzup, nano!!! — but, the case is only for the old school-ish iPods (meaning, “normal” size iPods for those of us who don’t have el obsessioney with mini things). Of course the case has all the standard features of whatever you’re looking for feature-wise in an iPod case — unique flip-down controls, belt or strap attachment (kinky sounding), and complete iPod protection – but more importantly it tells the world that you’re not going to put up with breast cancer’s bullshit anymore, and you’re going to rock out while you tell it to F-off.

Half of the proceeds are going directly to B4BC, which I personally think is awesomeness times five. The iPod case is $39.00, and will be available at Apple retailers and http://www.apple.com

Numero 2:
Don’t you love getting invitations in the mail? I mean, even if it’s to an event you really don’t want to go to, like your cousin Flossie’s wedding in Sheboygan, it’s still fun to get that invite in the mail. I’ve gotten some doozie’s over the years – I mean, some are classy, but…it’s always the train wreck invites that get my giggle buds all a-flutter. Anyhow, this has nothing to do with my piece – twas just an interesting side thought.

J.F. Lazartigue, the brilliant hair geniuses who but a year ago opened a Hair Analysis Center and Boutique on Madison Avenue, are celebrating the first anniversary of said boutique. And, oh wait, you guessed it, we’re all getting invites. No, not in the old fashioned mail – it’s coming via this crazy email thing people keep telling me about. Nonetheless, it’s an invite, and I LOVE INVITES. Especially when people invite me to spas, because… well, I love spas.

On Saturday, October 8th and Saturday, October 15th, J.F. Lazartigue invites you and a guest to enjoy a complimentary Numeric Hair Analysis and 15% off all products you decide you can’t live without while you’re there (sans the Soin D’Exception line). Seating is limited, so call, like, five minutes ago to make an appointment at (212) 249-9424 ext. 15. I also saw a little note on the invite that said something about FRENCH PASTRIES and refreshments. Holy hair treatment, Batman – spas, complimentary spa services, discounted products, AND pastries. Slap my ass and call me Sally, I’m so there. You wanna come? Oh yeah? Well you gotta print out this invite and bring it with you.

J.F. Lazartigue, 764 Madison Avenue, second floor (btw.65th & 66th street); (212) 249-9424 ext 15

Numero 3:
Do you just want to smack all those happily coupled people you know — the ones who always seem to be having a good time riding horses in the park in slow motion; drinking wine during a sunny Sunday picnic; and hiking through the whatever the hell it is trail that’s supposed to look awesome but I hate nature? Fret no more my single loved ones, I have heard your plight and so has Meet Market Adventures. Funny play on words AND a great idea. Let me tell you why…

Meet Market Adventures is a travel company dedicated to bringing active and adventurous single people together for all sorts of activities. Some of the events are local, and some are farther away than local, but I know you’ve been meaning to cash in your week of slightly paid vacation. Hold the phone, here’s a very important point – Meet Market Adventures says they are not a dating service, but more of a “bringing together people who happen to not have long-term companionship that might find each other interesting and sexy as all get out.” No, those aren’t their words, they’re mine – but I keep it real for my peeps.

Anyhow, this weekend they’re having two events right here in New York, and…if nothing else, they both involve booze. On Saturday, October 8th, you’re going on a West Village Pub Crawl Tour. There are literally only six spaces left for this booze-o-rama, so hurry to the website to get your tickets. It’s $25, and…I’m not even going to tell you where you’re going to crawl because you’re going to get so drunk anyway, you won’t remember. And on Sunday, October 9th, you’re going on a hike on Schunemunk Mountain for $49. God, I wish I could tell you where that is or why I love the name of it so much, but I know you’re meeting on the UWS, and they’ll take you from there. It’ll involve a little climbing, a lot of dirt, some shmoozing .. I don’t know, I personally tune out around dirt, but whatever floats your boat. OR — yes, there’s another Sunday event — you’re going horseback riding, eating lunch, and drinking wine. This will again involve some shmoozing, dirt, horses, and then some vino. If I were going, I’d personally skip everything until the vino — a girl’s got priorities.

If for whatever reason these events don’t appeal to you, but the idea of Meet Market Adventures does — check out their website at www.meetmarketadventures.com. There is a whole list of upcoming events — and not only dirt focused events, that is just a weird coincidence for this weekend. Not that crawling around pubs naturally implies dirt — maybe it’s just been my experiences. OK, I’M A LUSH LEAVE ME ALONE.

I love dinner. It’s the thing I look forward to at the end of a long, toilingsome day. Call Webster’s…that’s a good one. It is the zenith of the Mondays through Fridays (and some particularly long Saturdays and Sundays). The end of a long journey that starts with waking up at the ass crack of dawn and oftentimes goes downhill from there. It is the meal of the hearty porterhouse steak, the vegetarian lasagne, the Greys Papaya at 3am…whoa, ok, don’t know where that one came from. Basically, it’s just, loverly. The thought of it alone gets my taste buds all in a flutter.

And no one “dinners” like New Yorkers. There always seems to be something fabulous happening around el dinner-time, and today I bring you no exception. In fact, today I am doing you the favor of combining not one, not two, but three things New Yorkers love all into one gift basket of goodness: dinnering, celebrities, and the 92nd Street Y. I have no idea why New Yorkers love these three things (well, the dinner thing I do), but for some reason…it’s a thing(s). People don’t fawn over celebs here like they do in La La Land…it’s more of a “hey, nice shirt, you been to Batali’s new restaurant?” as opposed to “Like, I, like, totally loved you in Bring It On Part 4 – I’ll Cheer You Up!” (That last one ends on the upspeak, in case you were wondering). And the Y – I don’t know what it is, but I hear they have a lot of cool programs and stuff. Take, for example, their Food Talks program.

Que es este Food Talks? I’m in a Spanish phase if anyone was wondering. Food Talks is an awesome visual, but no these crazy kids have not found a way to get your marinated chicken on ciabatta with olive tapanade to read to you. Food Talks is a series of dinners at the Y, where celebrities from all walks of famous life talk about their experiences, their stories, some anecdotes maybe… There are four individual sessions, and you can buy tickets to a single event for $25 or buy a subscription to the entire series for $85. Only subscribers get to claim the same seat for each event and get guaranteed seats when an event is sold out. Which, if I had to put money on it, each one of these events will. So get the subscription – come on, it’s not like you weren’t going to go to all four anyway. Oh, wait, you want to know WHO is speaking at each dinner? Greedy today, aren’t we?

Shut Up and Eat: Sunday, October 9, 7:30pm Chazz Palminteri, Frank Vincent, Tony Lip, and Robert Davi share their favorite Italian recipes and their stories of growing up as Italian-Americans. Fuggedaboudit. I’M SORRY, I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF.

The Baker’s Secrets: Monday, November 21, 8:15pm Nick Malgieri, Amy Scherber, Dorie Greenspan, and Eileen Goudge divulge the deepest secrets, rewards, and challenges of baking. Alexandra Leaf moderates the discussion. I’d think the biggest challenge of baking is not eating all the dough before you end up with a cake, but maybe I’m wrong – we should all go find out.

Restaurants from the Inside Out: Thursday, January 12th, 8pm Rocco DiSpirito (hottie McRestaurateur, p.s.), Steven Shaw, and Calvin Trillin talk shop, food, and … well, Rocco’s cute. Leonard Loparte moderates this event — oh, I’ll moderate this event.

Karen and David Waltuck, the First Couple of New York Restaurants: Thursday, January 26, 8pm If you can’t figure out who’s speaking at this one, go back to college. The founders of Chanterelle talk about their successful restaurant business and marriage – a rarety in every light. Mike Colameco moderates this chat.

Like I said, you may just want to get the subscription, because you’re not going to want to miss any of these events. A fab dinner with your compadres at el Y? I, personally, am a fan of the reserved seating thing. I’d go to the movie theatres where you can reserve seats, but I hate 34th street. You can’t buy these tix online, so call 212-415-5500 or visit the Y’s box office on Lexington at 92nd Street or the Steinhardt Building. I have no idea where the Steinhardt building is, but…apparently I’m supposed to, and that’s why I’m not hip. But y’all are hip – so I have faith you’ll figure it out. I do know where Lexington and 92nd is – and that’s good, because otherwise I’d have to re-enroll myself in college.

With all that said: Eat, drink, and be talkin’.

You’re wearing a beautiful skirt from Bergdorf’s and an exquisite blouse from Barney’s that you laid out the night before. The frizz of your hair has been blown to a lustrous sheen, and your make-up has been applied to perfection. You briefly notice a handsome man on your television set talking to Katie Couric but there’s no time. You frantically tie the laces of your Nike sneakers, dash out the door and onto the streets of the fashion capital of the world, hoping to make it to work on time. And from head to ankle, you’ve never looked better.

So what’s wrong with this picture? Nothing against Nike, but perhaps you should have stopped to listen to what that handsome man was saying to Katie Couric. He would have given you a bunch of alternatives to the skirt and sneaker look so that from then on, you’d look great from head to…toe!
“Style exists in every part of your life. That is what’s ‘chic’ right now,” says Lloyd Boston, a professional stylist. Today Show Fashion Editor, Style Channel host, and frequent guest on The View, Oprah, and MTV, Lloyd Boston is now a nationally recognized style guru and master of makeovers.

Author of Make Over your Man – The Women’s Guide to Making Over Any Man in Her Life (2002), Men of Color (1998) and now, Before You Put that On – 365 Daily Style Tips for Her (out October 4, 2005 from Simon & Schuster), Lloyd Boston gives his readers the “low-down” on how to “dress-up”!

I had the fantastic opportunity to chat with Lloyd about his new book Before You Put that On and ask him how readers of Beauty News NYC can become their own personal stylists.

Stephanie Silver: You’ve worked with celebrities and fashion experts including Tommy Hilfiger, Diane Von Furstenberg, Lauren Hutton, Tyra Banks and Bobbi Brown and feature many of them in your books. How can the average New York woman, who can’t afford 50 pairs of Manolo Blahniks, be every bit as stylish as the celebrities you work with (or at least come close)?

Lloyd Boston: Keep it simple and classic. Great jeans, black pencil skirts, nude slingbacks, and vintage bags never go out of style. These are just a few of my favorite essentials for women. Balance thrift and consignment shops with better department stores (both sales and regular prices), as well as outlet shopping. Absorb what is deemed hot for the season, but don’t think of it as gospel if you want to look unique. As my mom once taught me, “style begins where the rules end.”

SS: We’ve all watched every episode of Sex and the City. Carrie Bradshaw seems to be able to pull off just about any look she’s wearing. How can someone take fashion risks like Carrie without coming off looking ridiculous?

LB: That had everything to do with her confidence and “nix-you-if-you-don’t-like-what-I’m-wearing-posture.” We all raised an eyebrow at first, but by the show’s finish, we all believed it because she never backed down. Do your thing and own it with head held high, or else it will look like a mistake – and you are dead on the street.

SS: I buy the same handbag, wear the same sweater and get the same pants tailored to fit as the woman I see on the subway every morning. And yet, I don’t look nearly as good as she does. What am I doing wrong?

LB: Comparing yourself to her. You will never look as good as another woman if you don’t focus on you first. Unless she is your identical twin, you have no need to compare. She may be looking at you with the same thoughts. Focus that energy on your best assets and never look over your shoulder.

SS: I don’t want to spend a fortune on something so trendy I can’t wear it a month after I buy it. What are some of your favorite stores and websites to find great clothes and accessories to supplement a basic wardrobe?

LB: Girlshop (www.girlshop.com), Girl Props (www.girlprops.com), Club Monaco’s amazing markdowns!, J. Crew – preppie gone sexy, and Target – they’ve really stepped up the accessory department.

SS: I mentioned earlier the sneaker and skirt fashion faux pas. But frankly, it’s uncomfortable walking to the subway in heels, and I already carry at least two heavy, cumbersome bags to work every day. Is this an example where style over comfort should prevail? Is there any hope for a compromise?

LB: Flats are back for fall–from some of the biggest designers from Oscar De La Renta to Luca Luca! Sneaks are fine, but why not any of the amazing ballet flats around today. From ethnic to preppie with a twist of luxe you’ll never limp again and you’ll still feel sexy.

SS: I’m shopping with my friend in SoHo. I peruse the racks and find nothing of interest. My friend proceeds to search the same racks and finds a goldmine. Is style something you are born with or is it possible to learn how to become stylish?

LB: I know 365 ways, but you have to buy the book to start absorbing them. Like Dorothy, you’ve had it all along you just have to tap into it. And like the man of your dreams, he always shows up when you are not looking. The same usually holds true for great style. One tip: shop early for the holiday season. Once it is here, your size will inevitably be ghost.

SS: You have the greatest job. It’s so cool you actually get to show people how to be hip! What would you say is the most satisfying aspect of your career? What was your career path like?

LB: I started by working for designer Tommy Hilfiger for 10 years, from intern to VP. Writing my first book, MEN OF COLOR, on nights and weekends led me to national TV to promote it. I have never left the small screen preaching the style gospel. The best part is going on live to help millions of women all at once – what a rush. And to see them using my tips and looking their personal best is indescribable.

SS: All of my writing teachers say the same thing – “write what you know.” What is your one quintessential bit of advice when telling people how to become their own personal stylist?

LB: I couldn’t have written it better. Hats off to them!

To check out the rest of Lloyd Boston’s style tips reserve your own copy of the fashion bible, Before You Put that On, on http://www.amazon.com or grab one at your nearest bookstore on October 4th. After all, there’s no reason why you should look any less than your best all 365 days a year!