Now that we’ve all gorged ourselves on turkey, stove top, and canned cranberry sauce (God I love that stuff, you know where you take it out of the can and it still holds the shape of the can and then you slice it?? Home cooking shmome cooking people, this stuff is perfection), let’s get back to reality, hard reporting, and fabulousness that you won’t want to miss. Oh, and what a coincidence, I happen to have something for you that I think you’ll enjoy – quelle surprise!

Shop Well with You (SWY) is a not-for-profit organization that helps women surviving cancer improve their body image and way by using clothing as a means toward wellness. The sad reality that is today is that I think all of us know someone who has been affected by cancer – it really f-ing sucks. Period. So, it comes down to, “what can we do to help?” And I know that the layman (laywoman, if you will) cannot necessarily do anything to prevent cancer, but…we can do things to help those who could potentially figure out how to cure cancer get the money to keep doing what they do.

With that said, back to the topic at hand, Shop Well with You is such a fabulous organization, it makes me ferklempt – especially thinking of how those special women in my life affected by cancer would have and will love them. I think we’ve covered them in the City Pulse before I took the reigns, so just in case you missed it, I’m going to take the honors of recapping why this is a fabulous organization and why we love them. Basically, they focus on the woman, not the cancer, to provide support and say “hell yeah, you’re a survivor! You’re a strong woman and we love you!” SWY offers body-image information, one on one personalized assistance, an outreach programs at hospitals – all for no cost. No matter what your inner woman needs, SWY can give that to you, and that’s what I love about them.

So, I bet you’ve guessed that this fab organization is throwing a fab event, and if that’s what you guessed, you guessed right. SWY is holding their Second Annual Holiday Accessory Sale Benefit on Wednesday, December 7th from 5:30pm to 9:00pm. The event is being held at the Clodagh Design Studio (who is also a co-sponsor with Goldman Sachs), and will feature accessories from some seriously awesome designers like Coach, Ugg, Juicy Couture, Rafe, Tina Tang, and more. And yes, you will be able to purchase said accessories, if you wish, and I don’t know why you wouldn’t because who doesn’t love designer accessories? Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

There will also be raffle prizes from Fred Flare, Mario Bedescu, Tiffany & Co, Rebecca Taylor, Kiehl’s, and more. Not only do I love raffle prizes, I love that all the money I’ll be spending is going toward SWY. I know that’s a given, but sometimes I like to state the obvious. Oh, and there’s an open bar – so we can all get shnockered and emotional about how much we love SWY – and drunk impulse buying where at least the money is going to a good cause is a great excuse to keep on a spendin’. And a little birdie told me there are going to be gift bags, but you didn’t hear it from me.

If you’re interested in going all out, there will be a champagne VIP reception at 5:30pm to kick-off the evening. Tickets to the champagne reception and the event are $80 in advance or $100 at the door. General admission tickets (general admission starts at 6:30pm and doesn’t include the champagne goodness) are $50 in advance and $65 at the door.

Buy tickets at http://www.shopwellwithyou.org/tickets. Or you can call (212) 226-0466.

Please go and support this great cause – for everyone you know who has had cancer, is fighting cancer, and god forbid who may get it when you least expect it.

Members Only…Aww yeah….
By Razi Schwartz

Admit it. You had one. You know what I’m talking about. The classic “must-have” for all the 80s prepsters. Let’s say it together…”oh! you mean my Members Only Jacket?” Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. Wait, well, no it isn’t, but it kind of is. I’m not trying to condone the attempted comeback of said jackets — I’ve noticed some of you attempting this, and I say let it go people…let it go like a bad habit…unless that bad habit is fun…so let it go like a bad habit like nail biting. Ah, ok, moving on. I’m writing to tell you about the BeautyNews Members Only Section … if only we had jackets — now that would be worthy of some fashion statement.

So, what does one get by being a “member only?” When you’re a subscriber to BeautyNews (which I’m assuming you are because…well, I’m assuming you’re fabulous and fabulous people love BeautyNews) you will be privy to special promotions available ONLY to our subscribers. Hence the whole members only thing. When you click on the Members Only Section you will be asked to confirm that you’re a BN Member by entering your password. Don’t have a password? It’ll take you 2 minutes to enter one and then you’re IN! And, I promise we son’t bombard you with extra email, clogging your inbox…it’s an elective as to whether you utilize this special feature or not…but we recommend taking full advantage of these tasty morsels.

Oh, and…on December 1st we’re launching BeautyNewsLA…and guess who’s writing the City Pulse section. Go on, guess. Guess. GUESS! No, Paris was busy, so I said I’d do it. Now you’ll get me on both coasts. Kinda of like surround sound Razi. I like that. I’m going to put it on a t-shirt. You heard it here first, surround sound Razi…it’s going to be the next big thing….

So, in the wake of a few entries that were slightly less culturally stimulating, I bring thee something that should knock your socks off. I’d be a shmuck to ask if anyone’s heard of The Met, because…well…let’s face it…everyone’s heard of The Met. The thing I find more and more shocking is how few people have actually gone and experienced its glory, its grandeur, its…ultra fabulousness, if you will. I’ve only seen a few operas there myself – wish I had a better excuse than the reality of why I haven’t gone more, so we’ll just pretend it was for some truly understandable reason like that I had to constantly perform emergency open heart surgery or that I was saving the world…or something.

Anywho, there are some truly amazing performances going on there this season, and there are still shows left for the end of the year, so I want to make sure y’all get to go, see, experience … and a whole other slew of adjectives that might indicate an amazing happening that would, well, blow your socks off.

So, what do we have? I’ve got four doozies for you to sink your teeth into. I’m going to list all date/time info below, so…don’t be looking for it up here. And now, on to the good stuff…let’s start with…La Boheme! Puccini’s brilliance strikes in this uber-classic – for you non-opera buffs, Puccini is not, like, a little Pucci. Although that would be funny, ’tis not the case. Both are geniuses in his own right – and should we not all observe a moment of silence for both of them and my love for them. If you’re unfamiliar with La Boheme, it’s a love story. There’s a lot of lost love, missing love, found love – love me tender, love me true. If you’re more familiar with neo-classic love stories (neo-classic being from the ’90s onward), think Mimi and Roger in Rent singing “Would you light my candle…” as this film is partly based on this famoso opera. It’s truly a classic that everyone should see, which is why you…shouldn’t miss it. Period.

Next on our schedule of events is…Carmen! Now, what is sexier than Carmen? Um, right, I think not much. Now, don’t get me wrong, this is sexy in a classic way (i.e. Carmen is quite the seductress), but the story plot is slightly askew – basically this beeee-otch is twisted, and we love her for it. Should we all be thankful that all the instances of unrequited love we encounter in our lives (either dolled out or done unto us) does not end as this opera does. No, I’m not going to totally blow the plotline…but I’m telling you this is the stuff juicy dramas are made of! Oh, and … I have to say that unlike La Boheme and its ’90s counterpart, Rent, I do not really recommend the MTV version of Carmen starring Beyonce Knowles. I love me some Beyonce and her bootie, but … I don’t know, I wasn’t jiving on it. The original, however, is stupendous.

And next on my to-see list is An American Tragedy. Yes, that is the name of the opera, an not a commentary about whatever you’d like to insert in that “fill in the blank.” If you’re wondering why you’ve never heard of this opera before, that’s because this season is its world premiere – WORLD PREMIERE, people. We love us some premieres, especially when we get to see it now, and not, like, 30 years down the road. The Met’s info page describes this opera perfectly, so I will quote them and say, this opera is “based on a true story of a [a preacher's son] who was found guilty of murdering the woman who was carrying his baby, while he was simultaneously pursuing another woman of a higher social class, … tasted a little sophistication on his way to death in the electric chair.” People, it’s like a classy version of US Weekly Presents Jerry Springer, and in opera form! I’m telling you, this is going to be gold, and shouldn’t be missed.

El lasto performanco that I’d like to share with you is Die Fledermaus. Think Johann Strauss. Think gorgina waltzes. Think of dreamy 19th century romance while waltzing in ornate ballrooms where your love interest’s name is Alfred…or Adele depending on what you prefer. It’s basically a dream – a costumer’s fantasy – a delicious way to lose yourself in an evening when “escapism” is the word of the day. Lose yourself in the music – it makes me want to go on Ballroom Bootcamp just thinking about it.

When all is said and done, I really really think there’s enough time left in the season to see all four masterpieces, but if you insist on only choosing one…or two…here are the availabilities…

La Boheme: November 22 & 26: 8:00pm November 30: 7:30pm December 3, 6, 9 & 15: 8:00pm

Carmen: November 23 & 29: 8:00pm November 26: 1:30pm (Matinee) December 3 & 10: 1:30pm (Matinee) December 7, 14 & 17: 8:00pm

An American Tragedy: December 2, 8, 12, 16, & 28: 8:00pm December 5 & 21: 7:30pm December 24: 1:30pm (Matinee)

Die Fledermaus: December 19 & 29: 8:00pm January 7: 8:00pm December 22 & 26: 7:30pm January 4: 7:30pm

SPECIAL SHOW: DECEMBER 31 at 7:00pm with surprise guest artists (no we can’t tell you who, that’s why it’s a surprise, shtummy).

Ok, now that I’ve given you all the facts, or the DL as we call it on the street, go buy yo-self some tickets to the opera. Seriously, it’s only a matter of time before they turn Die Fledermaus and An American Tragedy into “teen satiable” versions …. Unless you count Britney Spears as an American Tragedy, then we’re only waiting for Die Fledermaus. “Seriously, I’d be happy with a translation first before a teeny bopper version. I honestly do think it’s good that “those with talent” try to take fine art and culture and make it more “accessible” to the masses – especially if it turns out well and becomes it’s own classic, but…I don’t know what MTV was thinking remaking Carmen. That was a big kerplop in my book.” So, go, run, and let me know what you think of our gorgeous Metropolitan Opera House. Oh, how I love her so.

For more ticket information and to learn move about the Met and their programs, log on to www.metoperafamily.org

Thanksgiving…High Thai Style at 60 Thompson’s Kittichai

Singletons of Manhattan, listen up! Don’t spend this Thursday sitting on your sofa watching tv sit-com marathons and eating takeout. Oh no! Grab a couple pals who are also in danger of spending black Friday with a bloated belly from eating too much junk while laying on their sofa the day before and head to 60 Thompson’s famed Kittichai. You can spice up this day with some good food you’ll really be thankful for. After all, Thanksgiving is about being grateful, being in good company and being surrounded by incredible food!

Chef Ian Charlermkittichai, former executive chef of the Spice Market restaurant in the five-star Four Seasons Bangkok, has created a unique a la carte dinner menu for the special occasion which includes entrees such as grilled prime rib-eye steak on wok-fried bamboo and braised lamb shank with cranberry beans. If a la carte is not your style, a Thanksgiving Prix-Fixe, an exclusive menu, is offered from 4pm to 11pm on Thanksgiving Day. Start the Prix-Fixe with roasted butternut squash-coconut soup with truffle chili paste and smoked cinnamon cream. The first course is followed by duck foie gras an spicy green papaya salad with Asian pear vinaigrette, mussaman turkey osso buco and northern spiced organic turkey breast with Kittichai style traditional trimming. Desserts include sticky palm sugar pudding, hazelnut Ovaltine hot chocolate and jasmine rice wafers.

The only thing better than a delectable, wholesome meal and not having to slave away in the kitchen to cook or clean up would be if that meal is being enjoyed in one of the “Best New Asian Restaurants” (Food and Wine Magazine’s September 2005 issue).

New Yorkers may recognize authentic Thai flavors and dishes they have come to know and love, but Kittichai takes everything to world-class status with imaginative new variations on Thai recipes, cooked with ultra-fresh ingredients. The Thanksgiving menu is sure to do the same. To encourage diners to sample numerous flavors, food is served family style, with an emphasis on refined presentations.

For reservations, please call 212.219.2000. Brunch is available from 11am – 3pm and Dinner is available from 4pm – 11pm on Thanksgiving Day.

I have a confession to make: I found an amazing place on the Upper West Side, and I’ve been keeping it under wraps… until now. I don’t know the last time y’all were on the UWS, but…the quaint and fabulous “I’d actually treck from other places in the city to go there” kinda joints are lacking. I mean, there are some great restaurants, but…name one good wine bar, for example. Right challenging, no? I mean, one could in theory drink wine at the few nice restaurants that exist up there, but there is no fab place to go. SoHo and the West Village won that sparring match, and the UWS was left with zilch in my most humble of opinions.

Bin 71, the best new treasure above 69th street, heard the cries and answered the call. Located on Columbus Avenue at 71st Street (in between the chinese restaurant and the lingerie store), the place is the size of a walk-in closet. Actually, there are probably some people in Manhattan who have larger closets than Bin 71, which very much adds to its charm, if you ask me. There is one community table, one tiny bar with some stools around it, and a few more scattered stools along the perimeter. That’s it. It’s first come first serve seating, which is why I like to try to get there early because I’m not a fan of standing room only.

So, other than the tres chic ambiance and super hip vibe, why do I love Bin 71? First of all, the selection of wines is outstanding. The prices range from very reasonable according to New York standards (i.e. $8 per glass) to the glasses that should only be reserved for the true oenophile and connoisseur. They also have an exceptional selection of beers on tap, served ice cold, and…here’s my favorite part…served in the appropriate glass for the beer being served. So, if you order a Bitburger, your beer will be served in a Bitburger glass. That is a level of class you just don’t see that often anymore.

The kicker here is, they have AMAZING food, as well. The guys who own the joint used to work at ‘Cesca before they left to open this little jewel. The chicken Panini is to die for, as are the meatballs, the steak, the figs with prociutto and mascarpone cheese…oy, now I’m getting hungry writing this. Basically, everything I’ve tried on the menu is superb. And they’re open for lunch and brunch if you’re looking for an alternative to Sarabeth’s. I’m soooooo over the Sarabeth’s craze – we’re moving on up, people!

The bartenders are fabulous – Danielle, Jessie, and Andi are all dolls and you’ll love them. The only thing that’s annoying is, like I said before, it’s a tight squeeze so it can be hit-or-miss as to whether there will actually be enough room for you to squeeze through the door.

But I promise, it’s very much worth it.

Bin 71, 237 Columbus Ave at 71st St. 212-362-5446

Luxe For Less:
Molton Brown Announces Their First Ever Luxury Sale

Molton Brown, the brand synonymous with luxury, is holding their first ever luxury home and travel accessories sale. From Mongolian cashmere robes and throws to Peruvian alpaca travel blankets, bronzed porcelain candles to double-fired hand painted glassware, Molton Brown’s coveted home and travel range can be had at 30%-80% off, from November 25th to December 9th, available exclusively at the Molton Brown Emporia in New York City.

Highlights from the range include:

The Nepalese Robe – Whisper light, yet wonderfully warm during a cool midnight breeze, this robe is named in honor of the craftsmen that hand weave it. First, it is designed with an outer layer of high altitude Himalayan cashmere and then lined with sinfully smooth silk to cool the skin during hot weather heat. Original price $900. Sale price $349.

Cosmopolitan – This luxurious, handcrafted, Italian leather weekend bag is the essential travel companion. Interior and exterior pockets make packing easy. Security is maximized with kissing zippers and a leather-covered padlock. The internal strap and clasp mechanism keep everything in place. Complete with a durable studded base and drawstring dust bag, this bag is all you need for the modern jet set lifestyle. Original price $575. Sale price $229.

The Mongolian Traveler – The ultimate in comfort on the move, this jersey knit bolster is made from the purest cashmere of goats from eastern Mongolia and spun into cloth almost immediately. Supremely light and uniquely soft, it can be used as a pillow or throw to ensure your warmth and well being in any environment. Original price $700. Sale price $359.

Can’t wait to get your hands on these goodies and shop from a huge selection of Molton Brown Fall 05 merchandise, can you? Well here’s where you’ll want to be:

Molton Brown Emporium
515 Madison Avenue
212.755.7194

Molton Brown Emporium
1098 Third Avenue
212.744.6430

For more on Molton Brown go to http://www.moltonbrown.co.uk/us.

Hot Mamas and Mamas to be: This is YOUR kinda sale. Check out the Liz Lange boutique located at 958 Madison Avenue and enjoy fantastic markdowns up to 40% off on the Fall 05 Collection.

Starting on Tuesday November 22nd and ongoing until the fall merchandise is gone.

Liz Lange Manhattan – 958 Madison (between 75th and 76th Streets) NYC – 212.879.2191 – 10am-7pm
and Liz Lange Long Island – 210 Wheatley Plaza – Greenvale – 516.484.7268 – 10am-6pm
also, if you’re in the LA area…
Liz Lange Beverly Hills – 346 North Beverly Drive – Beverly Hills – 310.273.0099 – 10am-6pm

I pose thee a question: Where’s a New Yorker to go to get a good view around here? The Empire State Building? Ha, yeah right. After you’ve waited in line for the better part of your life, you make it to the observation deck and have to fight your way through Teva-wearing assholes fighting to throw their money into those telescope things that show you nothing more than some shmuck in his undershirt sitting on his couch in the LES. THIS IS BS PEOPLE. After the loss of our beloved twins in 2001, we have no where to go to enjoy New York in all its glory, in all its beauty. I’ve resorted to thinking that the view from my apartment is the best view in town – oh, shut it, at least I don’t look into a brick wall – at least I can see between two buildings to get an almost glimpse of the park. Jerks.

Ok, take a minute, breathe. See, I get so worked up about this lack of view thing that I’ve convinced myself that a sh***y glimpse of Central Park and an Ann Taylor is acceptable. Believe it or not, I think I have an answer to our problems, and its name is Rockefeller Center.

Alright, disbelievers in paradise, why don’t we put our cynicism aside and have a little faith. I understand that Rocky Rock is a tourist haven – actually probably one of this city’s main Teva-sporting meccas. But, in a bold move, Rock Center is saying, “WE WANT OUR NEW YORKERS BACK!” Remember the observation deck on top of 30 Rock? No, you probably don’t because it closed down 1986 when the dick nuts at the Rainbow Room said they didn’t want all the dreck trapsing through their golden space to get to the deck. Well, Rainbow Room, the joke is on you. It may have taken 19 years, but the geniuses at the Rock have figured out a way to bypass your shitty rules, regulations, and assholish requests. With a team of crazy smart engineers, someone probably very rich and powerful found a way to build an entire set of separate elevators taking viewers up to the deck without ripping down the entire building. Please don’t ask me how, because I have no idea. All I know is that we HAVE OUR VIEW BACK, and I like to call it Top of the Rock. I like to call it that because that’s what it’s called, apparently.

Three separate floors (67, 69, and 70 to be exact) offer visitors 360-degree views of our glorious island…and probably some views of our borough cousins…and maybe even Long Island and Jersey, but we can ignore them. I do. You’ll be greeted by a gorgeous chandelier made entirely of Swarovski crystals that is the image of Rock center, if it was turned upside down. One of my new favorite pastimes is trying to watch all the folks turn their heads upside down in this weird Cirque du Soleil contortionist move trying to “see it.” I promise that is what it is, even if you can’t see it, but I swear it’s hilarious trying to watch everyone else in their attempts.

So, what makes this better than the Empire? First of all, this is open every day of the year, including holidays, and runs until 11pm at night. That means unbelievable views of Times Square at night – which also means you don’t actually have to go to Times Square at night and fight through all that unbelievably annoying foot traffic. Top of the Rock offers the best views of Central Park (even better than my apartment, if you can believe that) and all the other gorgeous sky-scrapers, including, yes, el Grando Empire.

It costs exactly the same as going up to the top of the Empire State Building, $14 for adults, $12 for Seniors, $9 for children, and group rates for 20 people or more. Oh, wait, what’s the best part? You can make a RESERVATION to go up to the top up to a year in advance. So, you know that you want to propose to your girlfriend at the top 3 months from Thursday at 8:45pm? I dare you to make the reservation now. Go on, DO IT! Wait, sorry, that’s my internal monologue. I guess it also works if you know your mom is coming to town with some of her knitting buddies or your brother is coming with his hot ass friend and you want to show him a good time, if you know what I mean.

The deck is open from 8:00am until 11:00pm every night. It takes a total of 55-seconds to go up in the ‘vators – think of all the things in life that last 55-seconds, and how less enjoyable they are than this. Yep, go on, think about it. Oh, and I’m attaching a coupon that will give you 20% off until March 31, 2006 – at the time of print, I hadn’t received a call back to see whether or not a printed version of this coupon will “count” for the discount. I figured, “hey, what the hell, let’s give it a go, eh?” So, good luck, and if it doesn’t work, DON’T HATE ME.

So, take a ride up to the Top of the Rock. Say hi to the SNL crowd, Conan, ooh, and definitely Katie, Matt, Al, and Ann. I love them. Well, I love Matt. Where in the world is Matt Lauer? Oh, my house? I’d never have guessed.

www.topoftherocknyc.com

I think it’s pretty obvious that I use this column to highlight things I love – and the occasional thing I dislike. Today, I wish to tell you about two things I LOVE. One is a damn good event. Yes, I know we’ve been over this one before, but it never hurts to reiterate a strong point. The second is stories. Stories, ma cherie? Oui, stories – any type, really, as long as there’s some juice to it. A great urban myth, a “you’ll never believe your ears” piece of gossip, a tale of true romance gone awry (come on, you know you love those, too), a tale of a wry romance turned into true love…hey, we can swing both ways.

So, how am I going to magically combine these two loves into one item to share with you? Oh, oh, oh, I got it. (Shhhhhh, it was in my back pocket, but don’t give away my Houdini tricks). Heard of an organization called Moth? If you haven’t you might as well just smack yourself over the head right now.

The Moth is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1997 by poet and novelist George Dawes Green, who wanted to recreate evenings of yore (that he had while growing up in Georgia) where he would gather with others to tell amazing, phenomenal, and even unbelievable stories…only this time he wanted to do it in New York. He started by inviting a few friends over, but as word spread, The Moth quickly outgrew his living room and moved to Joe’s Pub, City Hall Restaurant, The American Museum of Natural History, BAM Cafe, The Players Club and various lounges in downtown Manhattan. Now it’s unstoppable; and they’re throwing the event of the season at Capitale on November 14th.

Stories will be told by Gay Talese and Lili Taylor, and….drum roll please….the ultimate StorySLAM showdown will be between Jonathan Ames and Andy Borowitz. Whoa-ho, AND there’s going to be live entertainment all night from The Sambo Novo Band featuring capoeira and Brazilian dancers. Mmmm, Brazilian dancers, yummy. There is a long list of very important names who are on the honorary benefit committee, and an even longer list of impressive names of former Moth storytellers. This is a big deal, kids, so…please…save yourself the pain of missing this big shindig and buy some tickets…or a table, even, if you’re feeling crazy.

Click for larger image

General admission tickets are $150, and the event will go from 8:00pm until 12:30am – you know an event is good when you don’t get home until the next day. What, general admission isn’t good enough for you, dahling? VIP tickets are $250, and VIP means you get to show up at 6:30pm and enjoy a very-important-persons cocktail hour and sit-down dinner, whereas the general admission folks only get a cocktail reception and light buffet. Rumor has it there are some tables available as well – hey big spender, speeeeeennnnnnnd a little time with…meeeeeeeee, da da da da da da…

To purchase tickets, please go to: www.themoth.org/benefit/form.htm

For more information, call: 212-742-0551 or go to: http://www.themoth.org

Who here loves chocolate? Ok, no one? I’ll just go home then. Oh, wait, I am home. Damnit. Ok, well, what I was going to say was, I bet that everyone out there loves something chocolate … I, myself, am not a fan of, say…Hershey Bars, but I cannot get enough chocolate covered strawberries. Seriously, if I could survive off of them, I would eat them for every meal. I might start looking a little like a strawberry, but it wouldn’t matter cause I’d be in heaven dancing cheek to cheek with ole blue eyes.

I did not come here today just to go on about my love for the caffeinated sweet treat, which (if I must say) is another brilliant perk to el chocolate. WaterAid, an international NGO dedicated exclusively to the provision of safe domestic water, sanitation and hygiene education to the world’s poorest people and chocolate impresario David Siegel are hosting “Like Chocolate for Water.” Yes, a cute play on a timeless classic, but this event is bound to become a classic of its own.

Join us (by us I mean WaterAid and David) at the Remy-Toledo Gallery for this after-dinner dessert party and fundraiser. For 2-hours starting at 8:30pm, you will be spoon-fed delicious desserts and wine by a gorgeous, strapping young thing in a loin cloth. Done. I’m sold. You? Ok, maybe not spoon-fed by a loin cloth clad hunkamania, but…hell, I’ll spoon feed you if you want. Apparently there are also going to be door prizes, which I’m guessing are edible, so…let’s all do a “whoohoo!” cheer, and David will guide us through the world of dark chocolate so we can say with authority that we love it and now be able to tell our nagging mothers why.

The event costs $75, and advance tickets can be purchased at: www.eventme.com/Ticketing.aspx?Event=2vxf5iF9+P8

I know I say this a lot, but it’s true (since I only pass on the choicest events, so you don’t have to go searching for something fun and worthwhile to do with your time) … but tickets are expected to sell out so I would just clickity-click on the link above and buy your tickets asap since the event is on November 10th, and you don’t have very much time to prepare…and go to the gym to lose three pounds before gorging on all the deliciousness. At the time I wrote this, there were still tickets available, so…run my little chocophiles, run. A portion of the ticket price is tax-deductible as well, making this even more awesome than I previously thought!

Remy-Toledo Gallery: 529 West 20th St. (btwn. 10th-11th Aves). For more information, please call: 646-344-7201

Tee-off, Please
By Razi Schwartz

I’m not usually one to tell you what not to wear. Ok, ok…I will volunteer my opinion if it’s truly fugly or out-of-style or just completely unflattering. Which is why I feel compelled to make a comment on Abercrombie’s newest line of t-shirts (I think we all remember the controversy over the obnoxious “Two Wongs Make A White” t-shirt a few years back). Look, I’m not like a politically correct prude or anything, but some things are just inappropriate, especially when Big Corporate America is trying to make a buck off it.

Of the newest “attitude” and “college” tees; some are inappropriate, some are derogatory, and some are just plain stupid – not remotely funny to anyone with an IQ bigger than their shoe size. They are obviously trying reaallllly hard to be edgy and original, which is close to impossible when there are eight million of them in the world and every tweeny bopper with a credit card is buying one. Phew, that was a mouthful.

Here’s a few that stood out to me:

Womens:
Anatomy Tutor (most girls wearing these shirts don’t even have developed anatomy of their own yet)
Freshman 15 (with a list of names of guys, I’m assuming a young college ingénue has banged the you-know-what out of)
I Make You Look Fat (surprised this comes in sizes larger than XXS)
No Money, No Car, No Chance (Worn by a cute little something that can’t even see over the steering wheel of a car yet)

Mens:
Plays Well with D-Cups (just to clarify, the shirt does not specify fake or real tits)
B-Jays #1 Fan (If you don’t get this one, ask your kids for a lesson on sexual lingo)
Beaver Field (I hope you get this one, if not … dig yourself a hole)
So Many Pussies to Love (Don’t let the kitty cats fool you)
The Island of Lesbos: Every Man’s Dream (Ha, funny -eye roll- never heard this one before)
Bitches Love Me (No, we don’t)
Boss Hog Loves Cooter (Cooter, in case you didn’t know, is another word for pussy cat…)

Ok, and then the shirts that say “I’m Easy” “Blondes Are More Fun” “I (heart) Frat Boys” and “I’m Not with Stupid Anymore” are just stupid to me. I’m sorry, but, if you’re going to try to be edgy, could we at least use a little more creativity? The other aforementioned shirts are tasteless and shouldn’t, in my humble opinion, be sported by 15-year olds looking to find their personal identity. They also, and most definitely, shouldn’t be worn by intelligent women (or men) over 15…so that pretty much means that there won’t be anyone wearing these shit-for-brains tee-shirts. I flip the bird to you, Abercrombie.

Now, I found this other website called www.VintageVantage.com. This is what political incorrectness should be, people. Some are more “tasteless” than others (and some of y’all might be like, “Like, oh my god, these are, like, soooo unfunny), but…overall, I think we might all agree that these are funnier and have a stronger message than the mass-produced hogwash crap being sold to tweens who don’t know any better (and unfortunately, a few grown women wanna-be tweens – PLEASE, PLEASE STOP WEARING MINI SKIRTS, TOO).

Some favorites are:
Advertising Helps Me Decide
My Pants Are Tight, And That’s OK
Mini-Van, Mega-Fun
Smile If You’re Gay!
Who Loves Burritos?
You Belong in the Midwest
Montana Got A Big Ole Butte
Canada – Fits Your Budget

And as I sit here and finish writing this, I’ve been made aware that Abercrombie is pulling the shirts. Clearly just THINKING about this article coming out scared them stupid, they shat their pants, and pulled the t’s. I knew I was good, and I knew I had power…and now, I know I am unstoppable.

Every once in a while you’ll hear a rant from this corner. This was that rant. Thanks for listening.

Christo Fifth Avenue

Mes amis…welcome to the event of the month–at least so far (but I really think this is going to be difficult to beat). There are a few things in this world that are inarguably true: We love fighting a worthy cause, and we love doing it at an eventwothy…event. It would be ignorant to say that you have not been affected by someone with AIDS or HIV – we’ve all had someone we love been affected by the disease, and no matter the relationship, it makes us want to fight so hard – fight so that no one else needs to feel the pain again.

Well, now I deliver you an event at which you can fight the fight — but with fabulous bells on!

Please join Christo 5th Avenue and AWEsome Women (the Alliance for Women’s Equality) as they raise money to support AWE’s core programming and to launch new initiatives to raise public awareness about our country’s HIV/AIDS crises.

Mais, qu’est-ce que c’est this event, my beloved readers? DAMNIT WHY DON”T YOU TRUST ME????

Seven words: Nia Long (Third Watch), Melyssa Ford (BET TV), Olivia (G-Unit), and Baze Mpinja (Beauty Editor: Vibe Vixen Magazine) — Oh, I’m sorry, are you being techincal with my word count — PARENTHESES DON’T COUNT, SUCKA. Ha ha. My rules. When you get your own column, we’ll chat. November 7 — 1:00pm until 9:00pm — The EIGHT HOUR event will consist of celebrity hosts and guests enjoying a day of spa pampering, trunk show shopping, and silent auction with the proceeds going back to AWE. Guests will enjoy treatments like Hair Touch Ups from Christo, Make-up touch-ups from E.L.F Cosmetics, hand facials from Z. Bigatti, body fat analysis from Metabolic Makeover, and nutritional counseling from EC Wellness. Hi, I didn’t want to bring this up cause it’s an AWEsome cause and all, but … BODY FAT ANALYSIS???? ARE YOU NUTTY McNUTTY PANTS???? I love y’all, I do. But no one’s gonna be seeing my ass getting a body fat analysis. End quote.

Moving on: there will be donations and silent donations accepted at the event. All proceeds will benefit HIV/AIDS research. I may not know much, but I know this is a good cause. Unlike the “Please, Please I need a Marc Jacobs Handbag” cause. I do, but…I mean, priorities people, priorities.

Christo’s 5th Avenue: 574 Fifth Ave, Floor 5, RSVP: Amanda MacNaughton THINK PR (212.343.3920) amacnaughton@thinkpublicrelations.com. Amanda rocks, but … if you don’t email her or call her pronto, I CANNOT guarantee you a spot at the event. I like to think of myself as a miracle worker, but alas, I am just a girl — a plain, simple girl.

Suggested donations at the event range from Big Mama Donation: $300; to Sweet Baby Donation: $150. All donations are welcome and appreciated. Or you could do the Holy Crap That’s An Awesome Donation and go above and beyond the $300 — I mean, seriously — that new pair of shoes, or….Think about it. Act. Do f-ing something. If I can, you can. Bring it on, biznatches.

YUMMMMMM!!!

Madame Clément Martini
3 oz. Clément Premire Canne White Rum
¼ oz Grenadine
2 oz. Pineapple Juice

Gooble, gooble! Here comes the holiday season and that means lots of turkey. Before you buy your bird and cook it up here are some helpful hints and facts that might be of interest to you.

Have you wondered why you feel kind of tired after a Thanksgiving dinner with all its trimmings? Doing my research for this piece, I found out that L-Trytophan, an amino acid naturally occurring in the turkey, is the reason. L-Trytophan has a sleep inducing effect because it contributes to our body’s production of serotonin – a neurotransmitter that produces a calming effect and helps regulate our sleep. But the blame doesn’t only fall on the turkey. In order for L-Tryptophan to give that drowsy feeling, it has to be taken on an empty stomach with no other amino acids present. Amino acids are the building blocks of protein found in animal protein such as turkey. L-Tryptophan wouldn’t make us sleepy with the other amino acids present. But how many other kinds of meat do we usually eat at a Thanksgiving meal?

A meal being rich in carbohydrates additionally increases the level of Trytophan leading to further serotonin synthesis in the brain. Without getting too technical, our body’s insulin (a hormone, which is released by the pancreas after eating stimulating cells to absorb and store nutrients from the bloodstream) is increased with a high-carb meal. Insulin promotes the transport of the other amino acids into the muscle cells, leaving Trytophan in the bloodstream.
There are other contributors to the drowsiness. L-Tryptophan is not the only culprit. Most Thanksgiving meals have their fair share of fat. Fat takes a lot of energy to digest. Our bodies tell us we need more bloodflow in the digestive system to help tackle (and digest) the fat we’ve just so happily ingested. With the bloodflow concentrated for digestion purposes, it makes our bodies less energetic, which makes us feel sluggish. The same thing happens if we simply overeat. Our bodies are working overtime to digest all the food that we have consumed within a relatively short period of time. Finally, if you throw in a holiday cocktail (or two) in the mix then it’s no wonder we feel lethargic.

In fact, the turkey is one of the healthiest parts of the Thanksgiving feast, depending of course on the turkey and how it is prepared.

According to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) the most asked about subject that comes in on their hotline is turkey. A question that is frequently asked is about the antibiotic and hormone use in turkeys.

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) work together in approving drugs for use in livestock and poultry. Antibiotics may be given to prevent disease and increase feed efficiency but an elimination period of the antibiotic is required, giving ample time to assure that no residues of the antibiotic are present in the turkey’s system before they are exterminated. FSIS randomly samples poultry at the “sacrifice” and tests for residues. Under the Federal meat and poultry inspection laws, any raw meat or poultry shown to contain residues above established tolerance levels is considered contaminated and must be condemned. NO HORMONES have been approved for use in turkeys.

All turkeys found in retail stores are either inspected by the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) or by state systems which have standards equivalent to the federal government Grade A is the highest quality of turkey and the only grade you should see at a reputable retail store. Grade A indicates that the poultry products are virtually free from defects such as bruises, discolorations, and feathers. For whole turkeys and parts with skin on, there will be no tears in the skin with a good covering of fat under the skin. There should be no exposed flesh that could dry out during cooking and the turkey should be very meaty. Additives are not allowed on fresh turkeys or those cut into parts.

Farmers of Free Range or Free Roaming turkeys must demonstrate to the USDA’s food safety agency (FSIS) that the poultry has been allowed access to the outside in order to have these labels.

Though hens (female turkeys) are smaller than toms, their male counterparts, they are both equally as tasty and tender if prepared properly.

Turkey is kept cold during distribution to retail stores to prevent or slow the growth of bacteria and to increase its shelf life. Always put turkey products in a refrigerator that is at 40°F, or freeze at 0°F. Freezer storage ensures best quality. If frozen continuously, turkey products will be safe indefinitely.

The label fresh may only be placed on raw poultry that has never been below 26°F. Poultry kept at 0°F or below must be labeled frozen. This is not for a safety issue. It is perfectly fine to freeze turkeys. This label is more for the consumer’s benefit, knowing exactly what they will be purchasing.

The USDA recommends three ways to defrost turkeys: in the refrigerator, in cold water, or in the microwave. Never defrost turkey on the counter. It is safest to thaw in the refrigerator. Give a full day for every 5 lbs of turkey to thaw. Turkey can be defrosted in cold water either in its packaging or in an airtight, leak-proof bag. Change the water every 30 minutes to assure the water is cold. When using the microwave to defrost, make sure the turkey is cooked immediately after the microwave thawing process. Most likely some of the turkey has cooked in the microwave and you don’t want partially-cooked poultry to sit around exposed to bacteria.

When cooking a whole turkey, use a food thermometer to check the internal temperature in the innermost part of the thigh. The internal temperature should reach a minimum of 180°F.

For safety purposes and thorough cooking of the turkey, it is recommended to cook stuffing outside the bird. If stuffing the bird, the center of the stuffing must reach 165°F. Turkey breast should reach 170°F. Drumsticks, thighs and wings should be cooked until they reach an internal temperature of 180°F. When there is a pink color in safely cooked turkey, it is due to the hemoglobin in tissues which can form a heat-stable color.

Finally, it is not necessary to baste your turkey. Most turkeys are pre-basted, with broth already deep inside the meat, making it more moist and tender. Opening the oven door over and over again to baste the turkey causes the heat to escape into the kitchen and extends the cooking time.

Hopefully this answered some questions you might have pondered or just gave you some F.Y.I. to have a safe and delicious holiday meal.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is my personal plea to all smokers out there: quit. I know it isn’t easy, but it is worth it. This month we will observe The Great American Smokeout on the 20th. The idea is to give nicotine up for just one day, and determine if you’re ready to give it up for good. As with anything else, one day at a time is the only way to success. For helpful information and resources visit www.cancer.org.

Now that I’ve given you a bit of a lecture, and probably have my fellow Carolinians in a huff, wondering what they’ll do with all the tobacco ya’ll aren’t smoking, let me give you some fantastic options for how those leaves can be used in a way that won’t harm you.

Not many women want to snuggle up to a man who smells like cigarette smoke, we all know this. Try giving your favorite guy cologne that has notes of tobacco and see how quickly you change the tune. Yep, tobacco is one of the hottest most sensual derivatives in the fragrance world. There is L’Eau D’Issey by Issey Miyake, with its citrus-tobacco mix, and Dolce & Gabbana, which also uses tobacco along with sage, cedar, lavender, orange and lemon in their signature men’s scent. But the ones who really got it right are the folks at Dunhill. Big surprise, huh? Tobacco blended with notes of musk, tonka bean, sandalwood and lemon – these are the secret weapons of the uber-masculine Dunhill Man. All of these scents for men are available online at www.Sephora.com or at Sephora retail stores nationwide.

Another use for the leaves of these American plants that sprout tubular flowers and are cultivated for the use of their leaves also burns. Nope, I’m not suggesting you switch from ciggies to a pipe. Jamais, mon chou! I am talking about lighting up a candle! The clever people at Archipelago have come up with an amazing scented blend that will warm up the atmosphere in any home. The Archipelago Havana candle owe their amazing scent to the combination of Bergamot and Tobacco. Archipelago candles are available online at www.beautyexclusive.com or for store locations call 800.399.4994

Make Up Forever is known for their amazing, vanilla-infused lip glosses that are non-drying, and waterproof without being thick or tacky. So how great is it that one of the best colors in the line is called Tobacco? OK…not exactly using fragrant leaves from the farm in Carolina but hey, cut me some slack here. I’m in a state of euphoria, typing away with my Havana candle burning. In all seriousness, Make Up Forever’s Tobacco Lip Gloss is an ‘everyone can wear this’ natural shade of pinkish brown that you’ll want to own. You’ve been thinking about trying their glosses anyhow, you know it, so head over to Sephora and pick one up. In keeping with topicals, Caldrea makes a hand cream called Rose Tobacco. Essential oils of rose, sage, and sweet tobacco come together in a rich emollient cream that will keep your hands moisturized as well as smelling absolutely amazing, throughout the winter months. Available at www.drugstore.com.

This month, try to enjoy tobacco without ingesting tar or buzzing on nicotine. You’ll do your lungs, hair, skin, teeth, and clothing a huge favor. Don’t worry about all those tobacco farmers. I’ll welcome their hate mail.

So what’s the root of my rampage? Last year I lost my grandfather to lung cancer. This is an important cause. Join your fellow Americans on November 20th, whose participation ensures they’ll make smarter decisions about how they treat their body and spend their money.

www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/ped_10_4.asp

www.quitsmoking.com/kopykit/reports/smokeout.htm

The first time I traveled to Dublin, Ireland, I was celebrating my 30th birthday and one of the places we visited for drinks during my first evening in town was the Morrison Hotel. I remember being impressed by the elegant surroundings and excited about the great vibe that came from the bustling bar scene we encountered there. That was 2001. Returning to town again for the tail end of another celebrated event – this time a wedding (though not my own) – I had the privilege of indulging in the full Morrison experience.

The Morrison Hotel Lobby

First of all, what always makes or breaks a trip for me are the people you meet wherever you go. The staff at the Morrison Hotel is top-notch. They made me feel right at home. They were accommodating and always full of great suggestions about where to go in town and how to get there. My timing was just right for a stay at the Morrison, since the hotel has recently undergone a large refurbishment program – €15 million to be exact. Additions include business and conference amenities, a design-led landscaped courtyard garden, a private art gallery and 48 new rooms and suites. The ground floor area, which includes the Morrison Bars and the award-winning Halo Restaurant, has also been revamped to incorporate an open grill-kitchen with quayside entrance. The Café Bar is a great place for cappuccinos or cocktails in the afternoon or early evening, and the food at Halo is simply sumptuous whether you are enjoying breakfast, lunch, dinner, or my favorite, the all-day Tapas menu.

The New Open-Grill Restaurant with Quay-Side Entrance

The overall hotel décor is chic and contemporary, highlighted by blond oak furniture and fittings throughout. It is already renowned internationally for its exquisite John Rocha interior design and is so “in” with the in-crowd that it was selected to play host for the inaugural Dublin Fashion Week this past October. For my stay, I checked out one of the new bedrooms, which I found luxurious in a sophisticated and understated manner. The bed was extremely comfortable with a soft duvet, plenty of pillows and Frette linens. The bathroom had an Asian-fusion feel for design with the big, beautiful bathtub that was so great to relax in after a long day of city walking. The complimentary fluffy bathrobe and Aveda toiletries were a nice touch, too. What really took my breath away when I walked into the room was the Apple Mac Plasma Screen situated on the desk. It had surround sound, an iPod docking station, and complimentary broadband service – talk about top-notch technology! (As an aside, complimentary wireless communication is also available to guests in the lobby).

A New Bathroom in one of the New Bedrooms

Another Morrison perk is access to the nearby and hugely popular Ivy Fitness Centre, which may not be used as frequently come February when the Morrison unveils its latest amazing addition – a spa that will offer treatment rooms, Turkish baths, Jacuzzi, a meditation room, a yoga room and assorted relaxation areas. (Since everything comes in three’s, I will definitely have to return to Dublin once more in the near future to check this out. As another side note: the spa will be located on the lower level of the hotel, which was the site of its former nightclub, Lobo).

But else what makes me so sure that the Morrison is the perfect place to stay in Dublin? It’s not just the great qualities of the hotel itself – it’s also the location. It’s in the heart of the city, overlooking the River Liffey, which is just a brief walk from several entertainment venues, bars, restaurants, museums, shopping and sites, all of which you come to Dublin to see. To check out and check in to the Morrison Hotel yourself, log on to www.morrisonhotel.ie for more information.