Ok, so…I thought I’d start this week’s piece of goodness with a round-up reminder of all the things I love:

1. My birthday (hint hint, March 12, hint hint)
2. Handbags “- I love handbags so much I’m considering naming my first child Birkin….
3. Delicious, amazing food – think…Babbo/Masa/Jean Georges/Per Se…and an occasional Grey’s Hot Dog is like the devil on my shoulder…I cannot resist…
4. A great wine to go with that great meal
5. Oh, and of course, all my family and friends, cat…wah wah wah…

The reality of life is, of course, that we cannot always have that which we love – like, I can’t go out and just get me a Birkin bag…although every time I see one in the street I think of just grabbing it and running. How far do you think I’d get? Jeez, I’d grab an MJ or a Bottega if I had a good angle. With that said, we can’t always have those meals that make your head spin and your stomach expand with fabulosity or the accompanying wine pairings.

So, you’re home, cooking or cooking like most New Yorker’s which entails dialing for take-out, and you say to yourself, “Self, what wine should I have with my pork lo-mein?” There are always the safe stand-by’s, but…I have something that will not only challenge your tastebuds, it’ll challenge how you think of your wines en general…TWO WORDS: French Rabbit.

Lapin, if you know your francais, is the way to be wining in 2006 party peoples in da house. There are currently four flavas – Merlot, Chardonnay, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Pinot Noir. So, what makes the wine different from, say, any other wine you can buy at the local wine hole? Let’s start with the packaging – it’s in a state-of-the-art Tetra Pak Prism and not your classic bottle that will break when you’ve had too much. BUT, it’s still vintaged. The wine comes from the Boisset Winery in France, straight from the vineyards of the Languedoc Region in the South. That sentence just made me want to book a ticket to France, p.s. But how does it taste? It tastes DELISH, and that’s coming from someone who has actually tried it. No, not my cousin Bertie – ME! Because I love me some wines, and I know a good wine when I get my hands on one. I was totally blown away. And…let’s remember the awful connotation of boxed wine – well, this is not that, this is something waaaayyyy other than that. This is…fantabulous.

I have personally tasted the Pinot Noir and the Chardonnay. I’m usually not a fan of whites, but…I cooked up some fish and veggies, and let me tell you, it was sheer perfection. The ‘nay has hints of citrus and honey – like you when you’re trying to be sexy. The pinot was surprisingly fabulous – I drank this one straight up sans meal, but have been told it would go excellent with some lamb, cheeses, or picnic-fare.

I was also pleased to discover that the French Rabbit actually has more wine in its Tetra Pak of goodness than normal bottles – it’s rockin’ a whole 1 liter. Why? Out of the goodness of their little Rabbit hearts. On top of that, the packaging is actually super environmentally sound – like this container reduces packaging waste by approximately 90%. The one thing I love more than a great wine is more of a great wine that saves the world. Oh my god, this is the Angelina Jolie of wines. It doesn’t get much better than this…I mean, come on – who doesn’t wuv a widdle wabbit?

http://www.frenchrabbit.com

Kiehls you GOTTA get Today

Pssst, word on the street is that if you spend $30 or more at http://www.Kiehls.com by TODAY, you’ll get a free 1.0 fl.oz size Intensive Treatment for Dry and Callused Areas and Ultra Face Moisturizer SPF 15. Enter the code DELUXE at check-out. I love that they give you one product that reminds you how painful winter is, and one product to give you faith in the summer that will come hopefully.

A princess? But, of course. A goddess? Well, I sure as hell like to think so. A laundress? Nope, not so much. Wondering what a laundress is? Well, maybe you should be wondering who a laundress is, and don’t worry! I’ll tell you. Gwen Whiting and Lindsey Wieber are the co-founders of The Laundress, a super-duper chic fabric care line out of NYC, and ladies – these ladies know themselves some laundry. They can tell you how to fix any laundering problem…even problems that involve our best friend, Cashmere. Therapists around the globe can’t fix problems with Cashmere, but these laundranistas can.

They have an entire line of products to actually clean your clothing. Can we say delicious smelling? Yes. Can we say won’t ruin your clothes like other shitty brands? Yep, we sure can. For jimini’s sake, they even have special products for bathing suits, your children, and your pet. Hellooooo, all those STUPID outfits you buy your dog, floofie, can now be cleaned…thank god. Need some crease release? Sure. A bag in every size imaginable to hold your stank-ass laundry and detergent. Ok, now I didn’t want to really say anything, but this has to be one of my favorites. We all know how OBSESSED I am with bags…I think I might even use these as a weekender if I could! Or, the gift “buckets.” I would not be upset if someone sent me one of these for my birthday on March 12 – hint, hint, hint.

Now, what could be more fabby than all the things I’ve just mentioned? Uh, that would be that les laundresses themselves will be at Gracious Home on the UWS on February 28th to answer your questions in person. Forget about shlepping your silk to the dry cleaner. Pop in a cab or walk, bring your red wine drenched white cashey number, drop to one knee, beg, and say, “PLEASE HELP ME!” Nah, I’m just kidding. You don’t have to drop to one knee and beg, although I’d LOVE to see it. They’ll help you just because they care. And they’re damn good at what they do. It’s so brilliant I can hardly find any more words to explain how utterly fabulous the whole thing is.

www.thelaundress.com

February 28, 2006. 12pm – 6pm.
Gracious Home: 1992 Broadway; New York, NY 10023. 212.231.7800

Some thoughts:
By Erika Palmer Shen

Has anyone read or heard about this “blah, blah, blah” email? I’m frankly so taken aback by this whole thing I thought I’d share some thoughts. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, a young woman who just graduated from law school in Boston was offered a job, and decided at the last minute to turn down the job and go into business for herself. Instead of calling to tell her future employer of her decision she…emailed. And, it wasn’t just any email exchange, she was filled to the brim with cocky, and after a few back and forths ended the exchange telling the employer, “blah, blah, blah.”

Ok, first of all – who the hell turns down a job offer via email? I don’t care what day and age we’re in – that’s ridiculous, unless, of course, you’re working for an internet company. For some reason it then makes sense to me. Second of all, what lawyer out of law school goes into business for herself? I’m going to post the original email chain below so you can get a dose of the real deal because trying to explain it does it no justice. Third, what the hell does “blah, blah, blah” supposed to mean? Does she think she’s really getting this now never-in-a-million-years employer “real good?” I’d love to know her grades in school and do an academic study on the correlation between common sense and intelligence. How does someone like this become a lawyer. Ok, refrain from the lawyer jokes, because this one is too easy.

And then of course we all came to know about this exchange because one appalled forwarder turns into another which turns into another, etc etc etc…Then it ends up in a few papers, then the national news, and then in your email boxes via my ramblings.

So, on this very fine Thursday in February let us all remember – Never email anything that you wouldn’t want to end up on Nightline.

http://aolsvc.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060219091809990005&ncid=NWS00010000000001

(Feb. 19) – Dianna Abdala, a 24-year-old Boston-area attorney, had apparently agreed to work for William Korman.

Then things went sour in a series of last minute e-mails.

Following is their e-mail correspondence, obtained by ABC News’ “Nightline,” that degenerated into a spat that got e-mailed to various attorneys, publications and “Nightline.”

—–Original Message—–
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 9:23 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Thank you

Dear Attorney Korman, At this time, I am writing to inform you that I will not be accepting your offer.

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living in light of the work I would be doing for you. I have decided instead to work for myself, and reap 100% of the benefits that I sow.

Thank you for the interviews. Dianna L. Abdala, Esq.

—–Original Message—–
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 12:15 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Dianna –
Given that you had two interviews, were offered and accepted the job (indeed, you had a definite start date), I am surprised that you chose an e-mail and a 9:30 PM voicemail message to convey this information to me. It smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional. Indeed, I did rely upon your acceptance by ordering stationary and business cards with your name, reformatting a computer and setting up both internal and external e-mails for you here at the office. While I do not quarrel with your reasoning, I am extremely disappointed in the way this played out. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Will Korman

—–Original Message—–
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:01 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Re: Thank you

A real lawyer would have put the contract into writing and not exercised any such reliance until he did so.

Again, thank you.

—–Original Message—–
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:18 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Thank you for the refresher course on contracts. This is not a bar exam question. You need to realize that this is a very small legal community, especially the criminal defense bar. Do you really want to start pissing off more experienced lawyers at this early stage of your career?

—–Original Message—–
From: Dianna Abdala
To: William A. Korman
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:28 PM
Subject: Re: Thank you

bla bla bla

02-19-06 09:54 EST
Copyright 2006 ABCNEWS.com

Another week, another City Pulse – hooray! …oh, thank you, thank you… Yes, thank you, now shut up, I seriously don’t have all day.

Ahem.

For today’s Tuesday City Pulse I bring you two websites where you can spend lots of money. I happen to LOVE both of these sites, and I LOVE the stuff you can buy on these sites even more. I don’t know which one to start with…hmmm…eenie, meenie, miney, mo – I’ll start with….you.

Who? Two? Or one, or three, or even eight if you’re feeling crazy. You may have heard of this faboo designer Alex Woo – who? Woo, yes Woo. She’s that spiffy gal who “does the number necklaces.” You know – all those celebrifollowers sporting random numbers resting on their fake boobs or hanging gauntly against their “PLEASE EAT SOMETHING” chests.

I would like to say that I’M OBSESSED with these, and I’m just trying to decide which ones I want before I buy buy buy. Do I want my favorite number (3, in case you’re wondering). Do I want my birthday? My wedding anniversary? Random numbers so I seem deep even though I’m just quirky and a little on the odd side of normal?

Alex goes above and beyond just numbers, even though the numbers are SO SUPER AWESOME. She’s got a whole collection of rings, bracelets, necklaces…earrings, even. A very personal super fave is the pink ribbon ring inscribed with “live. love. be involved.” Not going to lie, I got a little choked up when I saw this ring. I think it’s that beautiful – AND net proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. Alex is devoted to fighting cancer, and I dig that about her.

www.alexwoo.com

So, I’ve told you how I feel about Woo…now who? Well, it’s a new online boutique and…shhhhh….it’s a little dirty. Like, sexy dirty. Like, it’s called www.dirtyboutique.com. They’ve got some keeeeeeeeeooooooooot lingerie – Cosabella thongs and Underglam, to be specific. Uh, hi, can we say “press perks,” because I’d like the little nighty number and Hawaiian print boyshort displayed in the attached photos.

They’ve got an array of jewelry pieces, and some DELISH candles. I don’t tell you all enough exactly how much I love candles. Well guess what? I do. I love them.

Another fave? The Eloise pet pillows. There are only dogs displayed in these pix, but I gotta tell you my butterball cat, Larry, would die and go to heaven in a figurative sense on these pillows. Especially the pink one. He kinda likes pink.

So, for those of you who have a desire to be a little dirty, get out of the mud, don’t even bother camping, and turn off Channel 35 and go to www.dirtyboutique.com. I’m telling you, dahlings, you’ll L-O-V-E it.

Hey, hey you cynicists you. Shut up. Yes, advertising can rock. How can it rock you ask? Uh, hi, well let’s start with any commercial that involves talking or dancing animals. Not talking babies, but definitely talking animals. Or, I don’t know, how about a beautifully written ad that makes your “I LOVE THAT” buds go all a-flutter – like, oh, I don’t know, let’s say an ad written by yours truly? Why, I do believe I like the sound of that!!!

This is just an FYI that if you’re now interested in advertising with BeautyNews, you can place your ad specifically in the City Pulse section, and that’s right kids, yours truly will write the ad her very own self. So, if you don’t like my style/tone/grammar/brilliant vocabulary/proseology, first of all you can shove it and second of all maybe you should write your own damn ad. But if you absolutely can’t get enough of me, than why not have me write something witty that will grasp our reader’s attention and maybe, oh just maybe, even check out your product.

It’s all so brilliant I could die. Or kvell. Yes, kvell. Definitely kvell.

Contact advertising@beautynewsnyc.com for further details.

Images of Color

Winter 2006 – Luxury Hotel Offers

Receive a complimentary third night stay when you pay for two nights with your American Express™ Card

Welcome to the Signature Hotels’ The Third Night program in New York City, a collection of luxury hotels offering an exclusive opportunity to stay an extra night in New York City at no extra charge simply by booking two nights at the prevailing rate. The Third Night is a great chance to spend an extra night in New York enjoying more of all the city has to offer like shopping, dining, sightseeing, catching a show and staying at some of the finest hotels in the world. Simply choose from one of the hotels listed below, book two nights stay from January 2 through February 28, 2006 and receive The Third Night with our compliments! To receive this offer, Cardmembers must reserve and pay with their American Express Card.

Going on Now

Spring’s Fruitful Fantasies: Fruits and Flowers by Cartier
Forbes Galleries
62 Fifth Avenue

Works of art resembling rare flowers not often seen in North America and fruits and berries that reflect those found in the American landscape by the famous jewelers.

Eye on Park Slope’s Seventh Ave
By Stacey Cervellino

Cocoa Bar
228 7th Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Between 3rd Street and 4th Street
(718) 499-4080
F to 7th Ave

Hours:
Mon-Wed 7am-12am
Thu-Fri 7am-2am
Sat 8am-2am
Sun 8am-12am

Cocoa Bar, open since August, is a cozy casual wine, coffee and chocolate bar nestled in the heart of Park Slope. They’ve got it all: free wireless internet, decadent desserts ranging from truffles to rich chocolate cakes, cozy seating, a back patio for the spring, and a super friendly staff. It’s unpretentious pretension at its finest.

Second Helpings Natural Café and Juice Bar 448 9TH Street
Brooklyn, NY 11215
9th Street @ 7th Ave.
(718) 965-1925
F to 7th Ave
www.secondhelpings.com

Hours:
Mon – Closed
Tues-Fri: 8am-8:30pm
Sat and Sun: 10:30am-8pm

Trying to find organic, unprocessed food in this city is almost as elusive as finding a pair of jeans that aren’t designed for someone born without hips. While I love to cook-it’s therapeutic, it saves money-but at 9pm on a Tuesday night, who has time?

Second Helpings does the work for you. They offer vegan, veggie and meat lover friendly appetizers, side dishes, entrees, wheat free and vegan deserts, salads, and fresh juices.

Choose from free range lemon grass chicken, crab cake/tempeh/falafel/ or chicken breast sandwiches on whole wheat focaccia/spelt focaccia (yes!)/ciabatta/or sourdough, Portabello Mushroom Lasagna, Senegalese peanut stew and more. Then there are the sides: Lentil cakes with coriander chutney, chickpea and apple salad, oven-roasted vegetables, sautéed greens that actually taste good, yucca scallion pancakes and the list goes on.

Second Helpings also offers a breakfast menu, take out service, catering, and a few tables up front for dining in.

Nest
396A 7th Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Between 13th and 14th Streets
718-965-3491
F to 7th Ave or 15th Street Prospect Park

Nest is an airy inviting store featuring home furnishings and accessories designed with clean modern lines and clever graphics. They have everything to make your new or old home into a serene palace: bamboo and woven fiber blinds, oversized colored glass vases, bamboo lamps, simple white lanterns, whimsical table settings and garland lights by Tord Boontje (www.tordboontje.com), and exquisite Japanese silk quilts in gorgeous colors : $259 for the Queen size.

Neda
413A 7th Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Between 13th and 14th Streets
718-965-0990
www.shopneda.com
F to 7th Ave or 15th Street Prospect Park
Mon.-Fri. 12-7:30
Saturday 11:30-7:00
Sunday 11:30-6:30

Neda is a small boutique featuring local and emerging designers. Neda, the owner chooses designs that are unique and sexy, giving the wearer the feeling of being “adorned…enhancing their beauty” Drapey tops, dresses, and skirts in jersey knit are standard fair at Neda, with dresses from Butter by Nadia, Jeans by Salt Works, bohemian knit hats, dangling delicate earrings, and Neda’s own designs to round out this eclectic boutique. It’s a great place to pick up that last minute, “I just got invited to a party and I have NOTHING to wear” dress or a sexy top with indie rock edge. Select dresses, tops, jackets, and jeans are now 25% off.

Parco
427 7th Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11215
Between 14th and 15th Streets
(718) 499-6997
F to 7th Ave or 15th Street Prospect Park

Hours:
Mon-Sunday 7am-7pm

A teeny tiny little café, Parco is the ideal breakfast/lunch nook. Their menu is small and to the point-allowing them to perfect their offerings: homemade soups, croissants and croissant sandwiches, and coffees and teas. If you’re lucky, you can grab a table by the window or a stool off to the side and cozy up with the Times which is always in abundance on the counter, while negotiating a messy but perfectly toasted warm croissant, Swiss cheese and egg sandwich. The guys behind the counter are sweet, interesting and always up for conversation. It’s also wi-fi equipped, so on your days off, you can bat your eyelashes coyly from behind your iBook, and flirt with the hotties on their way to work.

Before I launch into my spiel for today, I’d like to share that I’m typing this article on an airplane. I was one of those gabillion travelers that was snowed out of New York thanks to the snow storm. I can’t decide whether I’m thrilled and giddy that I missed the storm of the century and was stranded in 80 degree weather, or whether I’m bummed that I don’t get to commiserate with my fellow New Yorkers and kvetch about what a pain in the ass it was to have snow up to my eyeballs for an entire weekend. I’d also like to share that this flight has a crap-load of turbulence happening at the moment, and I HATE turbulence. I either freak out and squeeze the arm of the heavily botoxed lady next to me, or I write about it to my readers – you folks that love me. Like me? FINE. Tolerate me.

Undermine, Underyours, Underhis

Now, if you just read the title of this fine Tuesday’s City Pulse, you might think I’m writing something explicit in honor of Valentine’s Day. Explicit, maybe – depending on what you’re definition of explicit is. Explicit for Valentine’s…no. But, if that’s where you’re mind went than…you go you dirty girl…buy yourself something sassy, and enjoy your night. Oh, come on…you don’t need more suggestions from little ole me – I mean, I know I’m chalk-full of awesome ideas, but…I know you can do it!

No, I’m here today to discuss a serious matter in life and relationships – the Underminer. Oh, don’t feign that you don’t know an Underminer…or even worse, that you yourself are an Underminer. For all those who cannot get their minds out of the proverbial gutter, an Underminer is that friend, that one friend that everyone has, that oh-so-casually knows exactly how to ruin your day. Some glaring signs of an Underminer are:

“You look like sh**, did you sleep last night?”
“Can I borrow your pink shirt? I need something dowdy looking for an audition I’m going to.”
“Jonathan was at the party last night and didn’t mention you at all, so I made a point of bringing you up at least once or twice.”
“Oh, those jeans don’t fit you anymore? Can I have them? They look awesome on me.”

If those four examples didn’t immediately take you back to “that time” and stab you in the heart, clearly you’re catching on to our concept du jour though. Well, I’m here today to tell you that you’re not alone if you want to finally admit you have a friend like this, and invite you to a group therapy session (oops, I mean an event) where attendees will be paying tribute to everyone’s favorite “frenemy.”

Join Mike Albo, author of the hit novel The Underminer, New York Times writer Virginia Heffernan, and a slew of New York-y celebs to read and rant from the newly released paperback edition of the book. It’s got the same good stuff as the hard cover version, but…it’s easier to carry. I don’t want to blow the big surprise, but Alan Cumming, Murray Hill (the person, not the neighborhood), and Jackie Hoffman will be among the cast of characters reading from the book and offering their own hilariously heart-wrenching tales of run-in’s with their very own Underminers.

The event will take place at Joe’s Pub on Thursday, February 23rd at 9:30pm. It’s only $15 and all proceeds are going to charity. Really, it’s a no-brainer. As no-brainer as dumping that undermining friend we all have – although it’s easier to go to this event and have a rockin’ good time than it is to kick that bad friend habit. I’ve also heard a little rumor that there will be books on sale and door prizes. I prefer table prizes, but I’m not one to be picky when prizes are involved.

If you’re unable to make it to the event but you’re still itching to buy a copy of the book, you can go to www.bloomsburyusa.com/underminer and go crazy with your bad self.

Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (bet East 4th and Astor Place) Call Joe’s for tix: 212-539-8778. $15 cover; 2 drink minimum.

Opening at Ensemble Studio Theater this week is A Bitter Taste, one of three plays being presented this month at EST by members of its Youngblood Collective. EST has produced and developed new American plays since 1972, establishing Youngblood in 1993 to develop and nurture emerging playwrights under the age of 30, giving them support, feedback, and most importantly: production time.

As men redefine themselves in the 21st Century, society is also redefining its definition, acceptance, and understanding when it comes to sexual orientation and sexual ambiguity. A Bitter Taste is a timely and proactive look at male sexuality, friendship, and an exploration of the grey areas that lie in-between.
EST describes A Bitter Taste:

“A mild-mannered college professor and a smooth-talking divorce attorney explore the underbelly of their lifelong friendship after their world is thrown off balance by a prostitute. Who happens to be underaged. And a boy. No assumption is safe in Kevin Christopher Snipes’ unsettling take on men, sex and friendship.”

A Bitter Taste
by Kevin Christopher Snipes
directed by R.J. Tolan
with Paul Clark, Haskell King and Peter O’Connor

FEBRUARY 1 – FEBRUARY 18
Ensemble Studio Theatre – 2nd Floor Theatre
549 West 52nd Street @ 11th Avenue
Call: (212) 352-3101 for tickets or order online at www.TheaterMania.com
Tickets are $15.00

SCHEDULE OF PERFORMANCES:

www.youngbloodnyc.org
www.ensemblestudiotheatre.org

Earlier this week we told you about Love At First Flight and yesterday we told you about XRated Pink Cocktails and how Love Is In The Hair this Valentine’s Day.

But the staff of BN is so into La Jour d’Amour that we have more great ideas to share with you…

Bond no. 9 Bon Bons for her

What girl does not like sweets? And especially, calorie-free ones!

In time for February 14th, from Bond no. 9 comes these bon-bons, hand-wrapped in the most colourful eyecatching foils, each containing one of the 24 delectable neighbourhood eaux de parfum released by this New York-centric line to date. The introduction of these 7 ml pocket spray flacon makes life a lot easier for your girl. She can carry around her Park Avenue in her makeup kit or her New York Fling in that overnight bag (wink!). You can get her the one that’s her most favourite or gift her the whole collection. They come individually or in a boxed set.

We can guarantee she will be really sweet to you when she sees these candies! You can find them at Bond No. 9 boutiques or at select branches of Saks Fifth Avenue.

If you are still a-raking your brains to find something really sweet, yet really classy for your sweetheart, rake no more. Let us do the work and save your grey matter for other things, like being creative with in-bed acrobatics! (wink, wink)!

Idole by Lubin for him

Olivia Giacobetti’s juice in this ravishing bottle by Serge Mansau is simply irresistible and otherworldly. It showcases heady, exotic notes in an almost poetic composition. Nothing overpowering here. Notes include black cumin, rum absolute, saffron, leather, and the like, yet the result is as simple and elegantly intimate as can be. The gentle opening is sweet and spicy with a shot of rum that melts into temptations of saffron and bitter orange peel. The spices linger through the leathery drydown which also has restrainedly luscious hints of red sandalwood. Be nice and don’t keep it for yourself after you buy it for him. You know, you will be the one enjoy it, anyway, mmmmmm!

Idole comes from the re-established house of Lubin, which vanished in the 1980s after centuries of excellence in French perfumery. The scent is supposedly inspired by the ancient maritime routes from East Africa to Indonesia, and Zanaibar to Maccassar, through a mostly uncharted Indian ocean. Even the website for Idole is a sensory experience in itself. Where to find it? LuckyScent.com has it waiting for you.

Wink & A Kiss for him by John Allan

No love story is complete without lots of winks and loads of kisses…

Hence, John Allan presents this cute bundle that should put your man’s eyes and lips in top form on one of the most intimate days of the year, and beyond. It includes the line’s top basics — Advanced Replenishing Eye Cream and conditioning, no-shine Spearmint Lime Lip Balm, cleverly targeting areas first to be noticed but often last to be addressed, especially with men.

To add a dash of extra romance to that deep-gazing or taking the smooch to a smoooooother level, find the Wink & A Kiss bundle at John Allan’s, Saks, Barneys, or select Nordstroms. Also available at www.saks.com and www.barneys.com.

And hey, remember, if you are single like moi, no cause to mourn this lovely day and be foul-tempered and glum at one and all. Order your gift of choice, have it gorgeously wrapped just as you would for the love of your life, and carefully address it to your very own special self. Finally, do not forget to include a thoughtful note. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”, as the genius Mr. Wilde once said, would be quite in order.

V-Day: Put a new twist on your Valentines Day
By Stacey Cervellino

V-Day is February 14th. No, not Valentines Day, the fictitious holiday created by Hallmark and candy companies to boost sales and create relationship and emotional havoc for those in it’s grip. V-Day was born out of Eve Ensler’s brainchild, The Vagina Monologues. What started as a performance piece meant to empower, educate, liberate, and celebrate women, body and soul, became an international movement to stop violence against women.

Eve Ensler interviewed women from all walks of life and uses their stories in her monologues. As a result of her performances, hundreds of women came forward to tell her their stories, stories about finding honor, dignity, and self worth. Finally, here in New York, a group of women helped Eve to start the V-Day Campaign.

Between Feb. 1 and March 8th organizations, individuals, theaters, and colleges can produce performances of the Vagina Monologues. The proceeds from the performances benefit organizations that are committed to ending violence against women.

In 2005, 2500 V-Day productions raised $4 million dollars for local organizations committed to ending violence against women. Over the past 7 years, V-Day has raised $25 million dollars, distributing funds to grassroots, international and national organizations and programs.

To find out how you can make a donation to V-Day or how to start your own V-Day campaign and performance visit their website: www.vday.org. You can also find information about campaigns and performances in your area and sign up to receive updates and newsletters, so you can be a part of V-Day 2006 aptly named: The Vagina Warriors. The New Revolution.

Below is a partial listing of V-Day performances and events happening in New York City in the month of February. You can also find directions and more detailed information about these and other V-Day events taking place in New York City, Long Island, Upstate New York, and college campuses in New York City and New York State on the V-Day website.

V-Day Brooklyn
A Benefit Blowout! The Vagina Monologues, A Live Band, Drink Specials, Gift Bags, Brooklyn Style!!!
Performances:
14 February 2006 – 7 PM
Venue: Galapagos Art Space
70 North 6th Street
Brooklyn New York 11211

V-Day New York University
College Campaign Event: New York University
New York, New York
Performances:
6 February 2006 – 8 PM
7 February 2006 – 8 PM
8 February 2006 – 8 PM
Venue Info: TBA
Beneficiary: New York Latinas Against Domestic Violence

V-Day Hunter College
College Campaign Event: Hunter College
New York, New York
18 February 2006 – 7 PM
Venue: Assembly Hall
695 Park Avenue
North Building–1st Floor
New York New York 10021
Beneficiary: Casa Atabex Ache, Day One
Tickets price: Students (with ID): $7 in advance, $10 at the door. General Public: $10 in advance, $12 at the door.
Seniors: $7 in advance, $10 at the door.
To purchase tickets:
Tickets will be sold on campus.

V-Day Columbia University – Health Sciences Campus
College Campaign Event: Columbia University – Health Sciences Campus
New York City, New York
14 February 2006 – 8 PM
16 February 2006 – 8 PM
17 February 2006 – 8 PM
Venue: Alumni Auditorium in the Black Building
630 West 168th St
New York City New York 10032
Beneficiary: Project FAITH of Alana Dominicana, Inc.
Tickets price: $10 at the door

By Razi Schwartz

In honor of Tuesday being el day-o de Valentine-o, I’m doing a round-up-o of all things having to do with love. Ok, well, not all things having to do with love…like, three things having to do with love. It’s not that I like shafting love or anything, but…I’ve got my own loving to do, and cannot be typing all day my friends.

My hair looks great, and my ass looks fab – but … what is he going to buy me???
Ah, the eternal question – you’ve gone through hours, weeks, months of trouble preparing for the big day in February – really, what else is going on in Feb? – and you want to know what kind of trouble he went through for you. Damnit, I agree. I mean, how many times must we get plucked, prodded, waxed, weaved, whatever to make ourselves look like the hottie pottaties we are and what do we get? NADA. Well, on this day, we do…and I say let’s put in a request this year for what we want. What do we want?!?!?!?

Wow, it’s like you read my mind. Of course we want Valentine’s Day luxury gifts from Penhaligon’s! You’re a bloody genius, it’s as if I thought of it myself. You know what three words I love hearing together? Love Luxe Leather. Mmmmmm. And it so happens that Penhaligon’s has a Love Luxe Leather collection for Valentine’s – think leather heart keychains for $35, or leather envelope keychains that holds photos of your loved ones for $45? Well, loved one. Well, I don’t want to discriminate – maybe you’re just filled with so much love you can’t choose! Want something bigger than a keyring photo envelope? Get one of the big envelopes for $99 – a gal can never have enough envelopes or leather, so it works out perfectly. If you want something a little more…intoxicating…go for their Ladies LP No. 9 – a scent to drool over. It’s available in 50 ml for $65 and 100 ml for $85 bottles.

All in all, your hubby/boytoy/I’m not sure what we are has no excuse not to get you something from Penhaligon’s. It’s classic, it’s delicious, it’s – IT’S NECESSARY AFTER ALL THAT DAMN WAXING.

Penhaligon’s
870 Madison Ave.
212.249.1771

Valentine’s Day is all about the NC-17 rating, baby…
So let me guess – you’ve already spent your total January’s pay on some skimpy, X-Rated outfit for Tuesday nights romp fest? Where’d you do the damage? La Perla? Oooh, sassier? Fredericks? Ok, well, keep your secret to yourself, but…YOU CAN’T FOOL ME. Whether your ensemble is red, pink, orange, leopard – whatever – I ask you this: What are you supposed to drink with that little garter belt, hoisting, lacy number?

“Why, ERIKA, that’s a good question.” Thanks, I know I’m always full of titillating questions and arousing answers – heh heh – and there is no exception here. X-RatedàƒÆ’à‚¢àƒÂ¢à¢â€šÂ¬à…¾àƒâ€šà‚¢ Fusion Liqueur is launching in New York (and LA for all you bicoastalites) just in time for the naughty festivities on Feb. 14th.

What makes this drink so X-Rated? Well, it would have to be the fusion of premium French vodka, Provence blood oranges, mango juice, and passion fruit juice. Nothing about those ingredients says “granny panties” right? Right. In fact, even though the taste of the drink is ultimately delectable, it looks sexy too, served in a tall frosted bottle – kind of like that lingerie that alludes to being buck-ass naked without really showing all your bits and pieces.

So, on Tues, heat up the night with an X-Rated Royal (i.e. throw a little Cristal in there), an X-Rated cosmo, and X-Rated martini – jeez, really, whatever you want to be X-Rated can be X-Rated! God bless America.

www.xratedfusionliqueur.com

Locks and Locks of Love
A big big big announcement if you’re thinking of getting a haircut. I have this sixth sense that lots of the ladies get haircuts around this time of year – either to jazz themselves up for big nights or to say a final “#$I#Y$@#@” to the lover who did them wrong when the rest of the world seems to be in the perfect relationship with their perfect boyfriends. Screw Hallmark.

So, if you’re thinking of chopping your gorgeous locks off in honor of V-Day, I have the perfect place/time/date for you. On Saturday, February 12th from 12-6pm, The Antonio Prieto Salon is hosting a party in honor of Locks of Love, a non-profit that provides hair pieces to financially disadvantaged children suffering from long-term medical hair loss, and chopping off your hair for free. Well, free of cost, but not free in terms of heart – your hair, six inches or more of chemically unprocessed goodness, will be donated to the organization. Your hair will go to make wigs for the kids – no, not those purple, pink, and yellow wigs you see those kids wearing on St. Marks Place – we’re talking wigs that will help kids feel more like themselves when they’re living their day-to-day life.

And, not to mention that shorter hair is super drop it like it’s hot right now, ladies – all the young gals in Hollywood are doing it, which according to social norms means we should, too.

The Antonio Prieto Salon is located at 127 W. 20th Street between 6th and 7th.

The sound of that is jazz to my ears
By Razi Schwartz

So, now you’ve got the look, you’ve got the booze, you’ve got a gift, but…what in the heck are you going to do? That’s right. I said it – everything is all la-di-da and romantic until it’s 9:15pm and you’re looking at your honey bunny going, “uh, now what?”

Well, I’ll tell you what. Head uptown (or downtown depending on where you live) to Symphony Space for “An Evening of Love and Jazz.” Best & Brightest are presenting this evening to you, on a silver platter, and frankly that’s where it deserves to go because it’s that tres fab. And it starts at 8pm, so…you can pull out the negligee and still have time to enjoy it before you and the old man get sleepy.

The Arntzens and The Eliots – two legendary names in Jazz fabulosity, are bringing their families together on this night to perform, together, for you, on Valentine’s Day. I hate to sound like a saleslady, but…this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that you seriously probably don’t want to miss.

What, what is this I hear about you not being 100% familiar with who I am talking about? That’s cool, I’ll forgive you, maybe, if you buy me some of that X-Rated liquor. You’ll be viewing the jazz genius of Al Drears, who has known and played with John Coltrane and Dizzy Gillespie, and the vocal make-me-drooledness of Marjorie Eliot and her sextet. Oh, and you won’t want to miss seeing the prodigy Miles Arntzen – the 14-year-old prodigy, who will be famous before you actually buy your tickets. Whoops, you weren’t quick enough, he’s famous already and you’ll never get to see him again because tickets are sold out through the next decade.

Buy the tickets at www.symphonyspace.org. And, a little birdie told me that if you type in the code EVENTME, you’ll get 25% off. Front orchestra seats are already sold out, so…HURRY BEFORE EVERYTHING ELSE SELLS OUT, TOO. I told you this was a hot ticket.

Kissing: The Book

Andrea Demirijian has put together a clever and creative compilation of Kissing. From tips and etiquette on kissing to nostalgic flashbacks of famous kisses, quotes about kisses, Q&A with men about kissing, and even a kissing survey.

Kissing: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About One Of Life’s Sweetest Pleasures is a fun, interactive book that could make for some interesting entertainment a deux! www.kissingbook.com

Why hellooooo my little chickadees. Do I have something ahhhhhhhhhhsome for you today. It’s kind of in the spirit of Valentine’s being a week from today, and kind of in the spirit of just good old usefulness and a rah-rah to the entrepreneurial spirit.

Before I take-off, though, I’d like to conduct a poll – who flies? Well, I’m going to guess a lot of us do, unless Whoopi Goldberg is a subscriber, and in that case – WAZZUP WHOOPI??? Anywho, I’m going to guess we all fly, at least from time to time. How many of those times have you ended up sitting next to that one person that is going to make the next X number of hours of your life a living hell. Some examples would be: body odor so potent it turns your Japanese straightened locks curly again, a chatty Cathy that ends up telling you her whole life story and inviting you to her Nantucket wedding by the end of your flight, the cocky shmuck-a-doo who assumes that since you’re a pretty lady and sitting next to him on the plane that it automatically means you’ll want to go on a date with him as soon as you land at your destination. Any of this ring a bell? Yeah, I thought so. Look, it’s happened to me, so you don’t have to feel alone.

Now, however, there is a solution to all of this gobbledygook that doesn’t involve paying your best friend to travel with you just to take up the extra seat next to you. Drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll drumroll…AirTroductions.

AirTroductions is a company started by a guy named Peter (who, coincidentally, I heard is a friend of my friend, Emily – holla at the six degrees of separation here peeps), and Peter apparently had been on a good number of these aforementioned flights with bad seat partners. Peter said, “ENOUGH!” Thus AirTroductions was born, which is kind of like a Match.com meets (insert major airline here) ticketing service. You start your own profile with a little info about yourself, the type of people you want to meet, and your airport preferences (i.e. I fly out of Newark, LaGuardia, JFK, etc). Razi’s preferences, uh, I mean, Erika’s preferences state that I’m a JFK kinda gal. My profile is a little on the dark side – you know, the sassy side of not sassy. Than you can search people based on airports, see if there’s anyone you want to contact, and hook it up. There are lots of different people on the service – from the “I’ll only fly in first class so don’t even bother contacting me if you don’t” to the “I’ve always smelled those chocolate chip cookies but never tried one myself” types. (ED NOTE: I totally added in the “attitude” or state of mind into those profiles – it’s totally up to you to determine if someone’s personality/profile works for you…how Dr. Laura of me).

The service is free to sign up, $5.00 to do a one-time reach-out (i.e. you don’t fly that often, but want to reach out to someone when you do), and $19.95 per month for frequent fliers who just can’t get enough. I guess that means if you fly more than four times per month, the monthly membership is probably the way to go.

It’s a really really fun service, and I love the idea of it. I mean, talk about killing two birds with one stone, eh? Six hours with nothing to do, hey, might as well possibly meet the man or woman of your dreams. Who knows, maybe sparks will fly, and hopefully it’s between you and your seat mate and not the airplane.

www.airtroductions.com

By Razi Schwartz

Aight, so we all know I’m a humongo fan of the Dahesh Museum of Art over there on Madison Ave…love the gift shop, love the restaurant, and I super love the exhibitions, lectures, and edumacational fabby stuff.

We’re getting into the depths of winter doldrums here in good ole NYC, so I think it’s really important we find things to do post-office emprisonment that is outside our usual routine of that hour that’s supposed to be happy. Ok, who are we kidding, it usually is happy…well, except for those times when the wine turns our upside down frowns back upside down and we turn into emotionally drunk basket cases. Ha. Ah, those were some good times, eh? Yeah, that friend still isn’t talking to me.

Moving along…so, there are two upcoming events in particular I’d like to give a hollerback girl to at the Dahesh that I think y’all will find enlightening, enriching, and enlivening. En’t it lovely? The first Thursday of every month is late night at the musee, when the doors stay open until 9pm and…oooh, oooh, oooh…from 6pm until 9pm admission is FREE. Hoooah. This Thursday, February 2, there will also be a lecture at 6:30pm called The Poet and His Portrait: Representations of Homer in the 19th Century. Dr. Roger Diederen, the museum’s curator, will walk us through some big and famous 19th century artists and how they depicted Homer in their work. I’m refraining from the Simpson’s jokes because frankly we’re better than that people, we’re just better than that.

And then…tada, this one really slapped me across the arse…on Saturday, February 18th join your fellow lovers of animation for a screening of Ice Age during the “Meet the Illustrator” Series featuring character illustrator Peter de SàƒÆ’à†’àƒâ€šà‚¨ve. The screening is at 2:30pm, the lecture is at 4pm, and the whole afternoon you would have spent watching the Discovery Channel on your couch will only cost you $15. If you’re scratching your head trying to figure out who Peter de SàƒÆ’à†’àƒâ€šà‚¨ve is, look at Finding Nemo, A Bug’s Life, a few other ginormous Disney films, and several New Yorker covers. He’s huge, my friends, huge. HUGE.

Of course, there are always other awesome things happening at the museum that you can check out at www.daheshmuseum.org.

Dahesh Museum of Art: 580 Madison Avenue (btw. 56th and 57th). 212-759-0606.

Shhhhh, the secret continues…

Ok, I decided it might be a little fun to continue this whole “who is the real Razi Schwartz” bit. Really, I just wanted to come up with another fake celebutante who could be writing this column. I guess in reality we all know it’s totally not a pubesceleb, but…gosh, how funny would that be? Couldn’t be Nicky Hilton because she’s too busy making sweet sweet chickadees. Couldn’t be La Lohan because she’s too hungry and can’t breathe. Oooh, what about Avril Lavigne? Kelly Clarkson? Kirsten Dunst?

Oh well…if only the real me could be as…not so busy with just as much money as the aforementioned lady thangs. Ho hum…..