A Love Letter to Spring: (chanting) Ole, ole, ole-oli, it’s Spring outside! We usher in April with uproarious applause (golf-claps) and much anticipated fanfare (tu-tu-tu-tooot!). It’s about time – buggery bollox! Where have you been? I was just about to give up and head south! Thank heavens the season of my contentment has seen fit to show its supple face once again and I’m tickled with elation. Right now we’re in the most fantab position to transition from March madness into Spring fever. How I do admire you, April - easy, breezy, glamorous, passionate, air-kissing afternoons in the park, lazy and replenishing. Season of rebirth, new beginnings, hot pink mani’s, sunbaths and Havianas. Keen to don gauzy dresses, floppy hats and tulip-tinted glasses, gloss up the kissers and step out on the breezy beat, aw-yeah! Springtime, my homegirl, how often I dreamed of thee, on frigid, insipid nights, let me count the ways…static hair a’cracklin, pallor pasty at best, polish piteously chipping from whimpering petunias and dying, I swear I heard actual sucking sounds as my skin dehydrated. (Do you imagine me affected by a touch of the winter lunacy?) Screw timid sidestepping, I-say, I-say ladies, and have a fling, smoke a tree, strap on those strapping strappies, my chickidies. Pump up the glam and spiff out the shine and forge ahead most fervently into the fervor and mayhem. Shower me with your springy gifts, lavish my bodily shrine, Great-Auntie Spring, you grand dame of feminine seasons. Regal epitome, most esteemed time of year when everything comes to life - love ‘ya and word to the motha!

Your faithful admirer & ardent tree-hugger,
Amber
(P.S. Eagerly anticipating my first writer’s tan!)

	My dear Ms. Aries, girl-on-fire, ms.-always-on-time-at-the-head-of-the-line with that indomitable smile on, April is your month to shine on you crazy diamond. Don’t forget (as if you could or would) that this month is all about you (who do you think you are?). So as they say - out with the old and in with the whirlwind…it’s primetime to get saucy! This month of showers is a most spectacular time for you to advance on a multitude of fronts: personal, brainiac, creative, communication and business. You’re like the über-you (the Saturday night diva). So ratchet-up that inner sass-master and be the little social butterfly this springy season – all showered with prospects and invitations galore. Despair not if the Full Moon blows in a witchy-twister of personal emotions - just swivel with it, baby (I-wanna-I-wanna-I-wanna-I-wanna). Stay on financial track and do battle against that interior shopping-Lucifer - no impulse spending, bad-shopping-gurl, bad! But calculated purchases are allowed…nein, even encouraged…only for your own edification, of course. I tell you what I want, what I really-really want…Summon your inner spice-girl and pour on gads of posh MOLTON BROWN black pepper-oil skin re-charger (www.saks.com). Burn baby, burn! After a brutal February and a schizo March, it’s due time to baby your skin (insert obvious Mel B. slay here) and infuse a major jazzy jolt of zing into your craving Aries derm with this instantly absorbed, yum-yum spicy body smoother. Pepper oil contains naturally stimulating properties, leaving skin and muscles tingly warm and soothed. Picante, olé! So sprinkle yourself liberally, season yourself just right, it’s you-soup tonight! Relax for a sweet moment in tingly bliss and remember to practice balance in your life - operate on the edge of excitement, not on the edge of reason, my dear Aries! Take time to hydrate your skin with Molton Brown - you don’t wanna land up all dehydrated and squinchy-pinched like Mrs. (the lady is a vamp) Beckham, now do you? Aye caramba, for real!
	Spring’s spirit of change is in the air, steadfast Taurus, and tender emergence rules the day (er, month of April, whatev). So change up that game and rev-up your glitz-factor post haste, girl! Your bullish magnetism will be at its all-time yearly high until mid-month - you’re so on fire! Uncovering lost or hidden resources may further boost your coveted sense of Taurean security, so be on the lookout (hello rebate, zexi!). Good vibes crawl all over you more serpentine than paparazzi on Lo-ho, you’re so in the diva-flow. And while it’s natural to want to retreat into your peaceful cave, just persist, missy, and remember that perseverance ultimately wins the race. Charming changes in your social circle bring fresh, free-spirited faces into your acquaintance, bidding farewell to the old and stodgy and showing them the door. Admit it now, Taurus, you need a lil’ ole’ thump on the rump every now and again to shake-shake-shake it up a tick. It’s due time to move mobily-upward and embody your swanky-glam best - you need to get with the program, pronto! Go on with your bad self, Taurus…if nothing else you know that all in life worth having takes determination. Like erasing pesky stretch marks from the female form – urg, so irritating! But with Spring a’springing everywhere, and you-know-what a’coming (with sprinkler garden parties and slip ‘n slide mixers)…those stubborn things just won’t go without a fight. It takes Taurean strength to square off and get rid of ‘em once and for all. Clinique’s CX STRETCH MARK CREAM (www.bergdorfgoodman.com) banishes stretch marks into oblivion with an innovative solution that stimulates natural collagen production and improves skin's elasticity. Just massage in gently, ladies, lavish it on yourselves - frisky, I dig it! It takes an unwavering hand and committed heart, a brutish dedication to exile our unwelcome foe the stretch mark into the kingdom of bygone, out-out damned spot, good riddance, f*ck-you, (insert Kelly Osbourne tirade here) and adieu! Slow and steady wins the bladdy-blah, my princess. So remain focused and true, fearless Taurus, for April is the time to get on with it and come face-to-face with well-deserved successes. Be the belle of the ball– strap on your cahones and have at it - nobody can knock it out like you can, lady!
	Spring’s tantalizing promise of al fresco teatime and rooftop supper at midnight unfurls languorously, as snowy drifts become memories of winter’s past. But your enviable Gemini-social-graces steal away the scene, wrest control with flawless ease and everyone’s eyes are on you. What’re you gonna do? You’re a sure bet - like two for the price of one, you should be next in line for the throne! April ushers in a fruitful phase of new friendships and associations, so grab opportunities to rendezvous wherever you may, ever-wily-one. But keep that flighty, impulsive side in check, my dear, and exercise extra amounts of caution where necessary (Britney, are you listening?). I know you know what I’m yacking about, ms.-head-in-the-clouds! This most certainly is not the time to swan-dive off of the deep-end of reality! So get your twin-dysfunction in line, quiet your crying and just embrace your personal fabulousness, um-kay pumpkin? And if your inner-doppelgangers agree to disagree, it’s all good in the ‘hood. That’s your mantra for the next month, cuz’. You’ll need to summon every ounce of precious magnetism to ballyhoo yourself into superstardom. Your PR ratings will hit at an all time ‘best-of’ and everyone in town will be dying ‘ta get a load’a ya. I mean, try to get over yourself - you’re so money this month, babygirl! So step back a smidge and revel in the golden opportunities resting on April’s silver platter. Assess your mess, Gemini, revisit some back-to-basics, get on the ball, ya’ll and show ‘em whose boss (MK or Ashley?)! And to hop right onto the superstar fast-track, kick back with JF LAZARTIGUE’S TREATMENT CREAM SHAMPOO WITH COLLAGEN (www.neimanmarcus.com). Special-needs hair needs special babying from collagen-rich goodies to strengthen and bring back original glam, au’naturale glossy and full o’ life. It turns out shine so effusive - like slathering yourself in baby’s breath and rose petals (ya think me a touch melodramatic?). Your head will glow in day-glo splendor like the eighth wonder of the world, true to its inspiration and muse, the splendiferous season of Spring.
	It can’t be all strawberry jam and petite fours nonstop-rock, my sweet Cancer. Sometimes it’s necessary to push afternoon tea back a smidge, lop off the irrelevant and riffraff scraps, roll up your coattails and be all about biz. Break out your Adidas sweatband in the month of April, my tomgirls, don your fresh, limited-edition kicks - step front and center as new professional endeavors keep you on the creative edge of your brain this month, just as you like it. Get ready to rev it up a notch! Vigor and vitality guide you, you’re a’buzz with inspiration and innovation (and you haven’t even had your day’s first Earl Grey yet). Problems fall into perspective as supple as Prince Harry hitting the pavement – o sublime. Quash ‘em like Charles Manson petitioning to get outta prison early on good behavior - Not! In this sugar cane, cotton candy month of April, your desire for autonomy is strong. Follow your frilly whims, boogie to your own rhythm, it’s good for ‘ya ms.-over-protective-Cancer. Bust out in a dirty jig, why don’t cha? (I think the Spring fever just officially invaded my bloodstream…and fingers). Advancement opportunities abound so now is the time to go all GI-Jane and balls-to-the-walls. New acquaintances encourage novel modes of thinking, and fascinating experiences bloom within your grasp, so reach out and snatch ‘em! Go against your ninny-nature and try something new, something scrubbly and bubbly and satisfying as only a good rubdown can be. The medium is the message with LANCÔME’s full-scale RESURFACE MICRODERMABRASION BODY (www.saks.com), mon dieu! Resurfacing is key to revitalized skin and the unique Physio-Polish enhancer evens-out texture and tone, leaving pure radiance only. Body microdermabrasion, as queer as it may sound, seems much safer than getting body-slammed to the floor of the ocean by powerful waves and dragged along the rough sand and coral fauna through the churning surf (sorry, bad flashback to childhood - Ouch!) So emerge from that crabby shell, Cancer, and observe the inner you steppin’ on out like an authentic outerbody experience without the pricey guru. Invite the new, far more adventuresome you to treat your loneself to piles of scrubby body treats, maybe a nice lunch at Ruby Foo’s, or perhaps a pair ‘a cowgirl boots from Saks Fifth Avenue (to round it all out)? Hmmm?
	Throw back those high-maintenance tresses of yours and let bellow, noble Leo, for April supplies you a bounty of creative and romantic action. (Hello?! Who wouldn’t want to read that at the head of a horoscope?) Three snaps to that forecast - I mean, how on are you, Leo?! Keep your sights on the clouds and reject the mundane (trashy lingerie, waiting on line, rebound flings) as you always do, you’re far too fabulous for that shiznat. I’m not trying to get you all hopping about, but it’s entirely possible…that the word…‘experimentation’ shows up in the same sentence with ‘intimate relationship(s)’ in your cards this month. So I’ll just stop right there and let your own fecund mind do the rest of the imaginings. But you can just begin to conceive in what direction my dirty-birdy mind is flying. See, I always knew you were a tad unhinged like that . (It’s not my fault, I’m just written like this.) So take full advantage of the situation, Leo, and live out all your dirty-girl, hair-licking fantasies. (screech) Wuh? Javol, you read that right… L'OCCITANE OLIVE PASTE for hair is so luscious and leaves your hair so lustrous (www.nordstrom.com). Fine Print: Tasty nibbly claim made solely by the author of this blurb and in no way represents the gastronomic opinion of the manufacturer. Normally I just dip ciabatta merrily in it, perhaps with a sprig of fresh oregano. I don’t usually smear olive-anything on my hair. Although I can see where it could be absolutely exquisite. Olive Paste is made of olive oil from the Chateau d'Estoublon and olive water, leaving hair soft, sunny and smooth. And it sautés my tofu just so, with a side of pesto, of course. You’re all invited over to my pad for a twilight supper! You bring the vino… rojo, por favor.
	How do I put this delicately, Virgo: stick with it girl, suck it up, schnoz to the grindstone! Don’t get derailed, riled or whacked off track in April, just as the fateful fever sets in. Drop that girly façade and dig on in. Summon all that strength you got down there that nobody knows about. Just keep to it and no long punims, okay? It’s Springtime, damn-it, and sometimes you just gotta step outside of that head of yours and smell the lilies! They’re springing up everywhere, pussycat. Just point your discerning nose in the noisy air and sniff… you’re sure to get at least a quick city whiff. Pick some grass, crunch some beetles, do whatever you gotta do to get happy! While it’s true that the onset of April may be the tiniest bit rocky for you (or mayhaps it’s all in your ninny-noggin?), prideful Virgo pay extra attention to keeping that confidence rolling strong (like your own personal cheerleading squad of Jimmy Smits and Eric Bana with purple pompoms – yah, that’s the zexi ticket). Be brassy and bold, and show the door to any busybodies rifling and snarfeling around your private beeswax. Avoid becoming unglued over triflers and trifles, ‘cause they’re not worth the paper they’re printed on, honey, and then you’ll be all flamoogled over nuthin’. Reign it in and never fear, your peacock feathers will be smoothed over later in April when a strong sense of security from homey and personal connections soothes your sappy psyche. But really, I must stress, Virgo, it’s essential that you take some time to relax (no, an 80 hour work week is not average!) and give in to your inner bath-‘ho (I should know, I’m one too). If you’re to save you from yourself, you’ll commit to the art of self-relaxation at once (oh yes, baby, ohm), before it’s too late and you’re jittering and jigging all about town with no end in sight. Get all pinky and (Virgo-approved) clean with BENEFIT GETTIN' STEAMY (www.macys.com), Bathina’s primo pearlescent body cleanser, glammy soft and irresistible, like silk pajamas on your grey flannel sheets on a breezy April’s eve. Its alluring scent beckons its beholder to linger a moment longer, just like sniffing that ultimate homage to spring, the slice ‘o falafel heaven emanating from the corner of 71st & 3rd Ave. every weekday morning (you have no idea). C’mon now, what could be better?
	Get primed for some psychological twisters (or is it typhoons) hurling your way in early April, when the Full Moon has its way with you. Instead of recoiling and going all Libra-luna, lavish bonus attention on your emotions, especially if you find yourself a tad on the bee-otchy side of the bin. Let’s face it, Libra - those mood swings have just got to go…pronto, finito, basta! Spring is too precious and delicious to go yammering on about inconsequential ya-ya’s. So up your periscope and be on lookout for clean starts in the relationship department (a mental enema will do ‘ya good). The last week ushers in more relationship hubbub (come on feel the noise) and job movement. So sharpen your skates, Oxana (and for the love of Mike, stop pimping in Victorian powdered wigs, and spray tan so dark you’re your own identity theft waiting to happen), and tie on your gloves, Tanya Harding (it’s not even fair) and get prepped to slug. Utilize that God-given librarian-Libraness to make sure every little detail and smidge o’ fine print has been poured over and initialed. And while we’re just chatting here, Libra, you ‘n me, totally casual like…okay, so I know how sensitive you can be about (whispers) priggish subjects…so I’ll just spit it out – did you say cellulite? Oh god, I’m mortified, huge faux pas, no? I’ll just say my piece and then we’ll pretend nothing was uttered. SISLEY’S PHYTO SCULPTURAL ANTI-CELLULITE, (www.amazon.com) tube of magic goo, gel-emulsion visibly reduces cellulite’s noxious appearance from your nether-regions. I’m somehow reminded of my homemade tea blends: natural plant extracts of green tea, butcher broom, bitter orange, essential oils and caffeine (on second thought, might be a mite crude to drink, don’t you think…maybe with some soymilk). Listen, the fact is even skinny girls have cellulite, as evidenced by a regrettable spate of Mischa Barton crotch shots floating around lately. And everyone who lives and breathes knows rightfully that Frenchie-femmes eat brie, drink vino and indulge on truffle-flavoured bonbons all day long, never gain an ounce and remain svelte as breadsticks. So you should probably heed the cellulite-buster’s alchemical urgings and slop it on each morning and evening.
	Your energy is through the roof in April, like mainlining vodka and Redbull, the perfect Hello! to Springtime. (I think there’s a rehab for that lethal party combo.) How you do keep others on their toes, Scorpio, running them ragged all over town, struttin’ your junk in this glammy, catwalk weather. You’re a busy little bee on many fronts, o’ ambitious one. Domestic conflicts seem to melt away (think psychotic astronaut love triangles) and professional recognition takes front and center. Mental resistance is tossed out the window as you take stock of all the resources at your disposal to get your life back on the path. As April is a particularly excellent month for finding solutions to irksome problems, issues, matters, situations now would be the ideal time to address some little problems surrounding some sagging “regions” (hello, Star Jones?!). You know what I mean now, around your lady-parts and girls and such. Don’t make me draw a map! You know what I’m saying, you ‘aint shy! Whipaw that tail around and show ‘em who’s boss, Annie Oakley - craaack! Take that to the shooting range, stuff it in a barrel, and bust out with it. And while you’re at, smear on KANEBO THROAT & BUST LIFTING EFFECT FORMULA (www.bergdorfgoodman.com) while repeating my childhood mantra: I must, I must, I must increase my bust. Although mantras can be very powerful tools for change, I think you should probably leave the bulk of the heavy lifting to Kanebo, an uplifting (corseting) formula designed to counteract (rewrite history) the signs of aging (of getting wiser). You see the connection. Specially formulated for use on the face-line (jowly), neck (waddle), décolleté (chest), bust (boobies) and inside of upper arms (flappers), it effectively improves definition and firms skin, minimizes dark spots and irregular pigmentation. ‘Cause let’s face it, Blanche, liver spots just ‘aint in this year on the catwalks of Milan (go figure). I happen to know this for a fact. I’m paid gadzillions of dollars to make personal appearances in places like that. Okay, fine, I read all about it in the style pages of the NY Times and you know every word they print is gold. Just ask Judith Miller and Jayson Blair, their hottest new fashion journalists. Not!
	My dear stargazing, Sagittarius, April is the perfect month for you to become an opportunist – reach out and snag that shoofly and twist it all up in your silky web. Yessss, ignore explicitly what mamma said and be a grabby grinch! But don’t rest on lofty laurels just yet. If you don’t get on the yoga ball, your love life could hit a slump and then you’ll land up all emotionally twisted-up and crunched. And then I’ll have to take you to the spiritual chiropractor again to get you all ironed out. I don’t think so…so step up to the plate, take over those reigns and keep the fire stoked. OK, maybe clichéd, but tried and true. You know you’re really the glue that holds this operation together, don’t you? But be wary of impulsive actions which may backfire on you. On a tastier note though, your creativity brew bubbles over into a powerful romantic encounter (like divine visualization). This could bring much double-happiness (how’s that for an uplifting fortune cookie?). You’re so freaking charming and rico suave in April, Sagi (can I call you that – wink), you damn well almost seduce yourself! Your zexiness comes from more than mere sex appeal. No, it’s your attention to the little details that make you damn near irresistible. Like attending to all of those personal nooks ‘n crannies nestled all over your human pod. Include salving on tons ‘o ORIGINS REINVENTING THE HEEL (www.macys.com), mega-moisture for dry, cracked feet (ooh, how socially awkward at a foot fantasy party, they throw them every Saturday night). After skidding over sky-high piles of slushy sludge, you know our feetsies are all in for some serious comforting love. And I know you’re sweet tasting and all, but you really don’t want to leave cracked shards of your sole all over town, now do you? Rose fruit and jojoba oils soothe the soul and the sole. Super-sloughing Salicylic Acid rids your cutsie-tootsies of pesky rough patches. Softening shea butter smoothes crinkles and cracks, and seals ‘em up again like a surgeon. Oh yes, Doctor Dreamy, pacify me, appease me, pamper me… oh my word, yes. They taste better slathered in butter (lick).
	Ready, steady, go, Capricorn, stay on the level, as you ever do. Sunny April will summon forth your professional and responsible sides (puhlease, how easy is this for you, o-steadfast, one?). Nevertheless, your private life takes top billing this month (it’s on the cover of People Magazine, next to Jess ‘n John, I saw an advance copy with my own eyes). So stay on top of that homeside mission is my advice to you. By the end of the month your personal magnetism will be floating sky-high (and I don’t mean on a fiery Zeppelin neither). Your zippy energy lends itself greatly to invention, being the mother of creativity – or is it the other way around? Wait, strike that and reverse it (doompity-doo). Anyhoo…this so-called idea of yours could perhaps tweak toward the wild side (but, hey baby, go ahead…take a walk) but may indeed possess great potential to become profitable. So if you wondered, I like dark Swiss chocolate, Belgian beer, and Tibetan tea - ‘ya know, just in case you were stressing about what gift to bring me after your intercontinental travel with all that moolah you rake in on your bizarre idea. Now I don’t mean to be demeaning, especially after priming you to turn out some good cash-money. And you know I’m not one to lecture or gossip, but I’ve noticed lately, Capricorn, that you’re not following mama’s strict philosophy of at least three servings of fruits a day. With your goody-goody ways, I’m shocked quite frankly! Well whatever, I guess I’m a rebel too. I haven’t eaten anything solid since 1972. I drink only Bloody Mary’s with top shelf vodka, and I take my fruit through a tube. PHILOSOPHY’s THE POWER SHOWER (www.sephora.com) is a veritable Odwalla blendy, fruity shower gel trio sure to elevate your mood to significant heights (without the aid of Jello shots and things that need to be rolled up in paper and lit on fire). Bring out that inner fruit (like you need encouragement, you silly goose!) by slathering your body all over with garden-fresh-picked flavors: red delicious apple, peach, and banana. And hey, once you’re all spanky clean, blend yourself a smoothie, toss up a fruity sauce, write cursive on the ceilings with pastry bags. Just do whatever you need to do to celebrate the arrival of our most beloved season. Spring always tastes to me like bubbly pink ice-cubes and lilac lily eggcreams. Ummm-hmm…
	The Crackberry is a’click-clackin, Outlook is bursting at the seams. Appointment alarms on your cellie are freaking out like every two minutes. It may be safe to say that it’s time to get your quackers in a row, Aquarius, ‘cause April is going to be feverish. The bell tolls to reprioritize that to-do list, mark those tasks complete and hit delete. As long as you don’t become overwrought with stress (buzz! riiiing! chime!), you can usher in some smooth sailing, permitting you gads of time to add prime new contacts into your virtual phone book. And on a jazzier note, go even deeper with your current peeps. (Or just keep on hacking their e-mail – that’s another logical way to get to know them.) Beware the ides of April (no that’s not right), er, rather impulse buys I meant to say. (Sorry, I mistyped, so sue me, it happens!). Although you may actually be rolling in dough, you are similarly inclined to spend it just as quickly as you rise it! So put ‘frugality’ on the top of that must-do list and a large deposit into your 401k. You’ll thank me later. Your personal magnetism is hopped up at month’s end, bringing about unusual romantic or creative opportunities (think Alf on acid on Youtube). Balance out that frenetic energy (if you’re not already drunk on your own water-bearing tendencies) with a scorching soak in some hot sake (all the better to get you soused, my dear). FRESH RICE SAKE BATH (www.sephora.com) is good enough to drink (you with, my dear), which is both economical and conservative, since you won’t have to throw out the rice or the bathwater. (How very green of you!) You can just suck it all in, both inside and out, earthly and ethereal in one fiery gulp, a hot oxymoron to be sure. So for velvety-smooth skin left covered in a twinge of peach, simply mix, shake and stir yourself a moonshine sake cocktail in your clawfoot tub in the April moonlight. Add just a hint of lemon zest, perhaps a spring of fresh mint, then hurl your dirty self in as the faithful straw – so you can slurp it all down in one fell swoop, my dear. Just so you don’t think me totally looped, buzzed-bathing is my forte, I’m an bona fide expert on the subject. I studied it at Hampshire College. I think they’re adding it to the curriculum at Reed next semester, upon my suggestion. So you’ll be in excellent company!
	Financial matters may be April’s Piscean focus, especially around the Full Moon (hooowl). So take back your mink, take back your pearls, what makes you think… do you actually take me for crazy? Give me those, they’re mine! (Sorry, must be all the pollen and seeds floating upon the April air, making me giddy and flitty. I must take some Claritin immediately.) Battle that urge to retreat from reality, agile Pisces – remember the Alamo and blast some Nirvana! Face the music with a steely resolve and determined stare. The piper may indeed need paying, but then you’re off and bounding again! A currency increase may even be in the cards, if you play ‘em right, pardner. So read up on when to hold ‘em, when to fold ‘em, and when to just shred them to tiny shards and run away screaming that your very fate lies in a deck of cards - diabolical. And please try not to rock the boat so damn much and avoid unnecessary acts of rebellion, if that would be at all possible? I know how hard it is for you to restrain yourself (you, contrarian, you). Can’t you see that I’m pleading with you to act…standard, typical, ordinary. Listen, forget it, just try to blend in for a minute. I know, it ‘aint easy being fishy, but try to get back into formation, even if its just lip-service. Can you jive with that? From the second week on your energy is off the chain - you’re a whirling dervish, a sizzling sasquatch, a firestarter! Synchronicity may seem magical, even mystical to your analytical nature, so just flow with the go and amor just may knock on your door from unexpected sources. Oooh, we so love a steamy love story! (You must pen a tell-all manuscript – I know this publishing magnate named Judith Regan who will definitely print it!) So to be the most death-defying love lure that you possibly can be, nimble Pisces, smooth on reams of VIE LUXE COTE D'AZUR BATH & SHOWER FOAM (www.saks.com). (Ooh-la-la, je ne sais quoi, petite Boursin, oui-oui-oui.) Love in an icy blue bottle, too cool for school, with white lily, water hyacinth and white freesia blended together with pink rose and French verbena. Even a love-tard like me knows that such a stellar olfactory combination would capture the fancy of damn near any male-creature. At least you can flit away like the tale of a whale in case he gets too frisky on the first date! Well I never!