June is quite easily the dopest month of them all, wouldn’t you agree? Such the anticipated season, such glamorous weather - shorter hours, longer siestas, lunchtime snoozing at the base of an old oak, darkest of the dark shades strapped on, sand ‘neath my feet, hot pink pedis, freshly glowing towheaded coifs - one (or 15) shades lighter, flowy hemlines, men gaping too readily; heiresses heading to the clinky, kiddie pornographers extradited all over the damn place; extraordinary renditions, stumping, speechifying and presidential debates. Hmmm… Lovely June, month o’my fantasies, born of longing for outdoors, freedom, escape and smoky bbq skewers; humid, steaming fierce fashion scene on NYC’s real runways and strutways - chickidies owning the sidewalks literally in flames, all sporting strapless new shimmering wonders down la Rue de la Blah-Blue allowing only the merest glimmer of those impossibly floating lady-lumps, chunky-strappy heels, weightless glittering bronzer enhancing the peak-a-boo boobage, flying past Miu2, floating past Galliano without batting an eyelash extension. Aaah, so reminiscent of luminous teenage days of yore - Sun-In and fried red highlights, mosquito bites, splinters from the boardwalk, working hard at menial summer job in the kiln-like air, sweat dripping off elbows into the rainbow sorbet, slowly dehydrating from the sucking humidity into a puddle of former humanity. Them were the days, mis amis. Now, deep in the throes of summer’s seamy grip (even though it’s still officially spring on the watch ‘o the seasons scale), it’s time to get intimate with this summer affair - all day at the beach watching boats bob by, ignoring the cellphone, scanning for driftwood treasure, erasing work from the mind, dodging washed up shells on sugary sand, mentally retreating from the city, dipping brave big toe into the chilly surf and yelping in response. Get on out there ‘n soak up some rays, synthesize that vitamin E, scrub down your face in the salty waves to tighten up pores, banish puffy eyes from partying all night and counteract the path that dern ‘squiter brigade cut across your tender flesh, a veritable constellation of vampires traces (aw yah, the ocean is the first and last bastion of healing). Yes, it’s glorious summertime, so flip off the depressing tube, shred those badnewspapers and tune into a different authority: the call of nature has been brayed; you have heard it and responded. So deck-out in your tighty-whitey summer sailor’s suit, affix your mon captain’s hat, press that faux anchor tattoo onto your yoga-toned bicep and click your Christian Labutin’s three times. Salute those souls brave enough to brave NYC’s steaming version of summer - Godspeed to you all and drink lots of water, lest you suffer the same fate as the Wicked one of the West, and melt away while shrieking hideously and wash out to sea. This would be most unseemly and very un-NYC-chic.

	In this sweet-sweet month of June you make like a busy-bee, Mz. Aries, twittering about ‘n sticking your razor pincer into all sorts of commotions - eye-opening emails (note to self: delete instantly from office server), attention-grabbing letters (penned in the midst of passionately torrid love affairs), juicy phone calls so racy and subversive (piquing the interest of the NSA), you dominatrix (and mayhaps Anthony Pelicano is tapping you too). Opportunities to get out ‘n about town enjoying schmooze-fests with all sorts o’ interesting folks run so rampant you have to beat them back with a Lemoncillo and Danny DeVito’s moustache. Romance buds into roses early on, and your personal fabulousness vector scale is way into the red zone. It’s music to your perked-ears, all pinned back against the windy plains of your Ram’s domain - don’t you just know it? You’re all hepped-up on schemes, missions and attitudinal ventures. Hello? Aren’t you always the first one on the case? Granted. Issues of higher learning, travel and sticky-rice legal affairs are wrapped up with a lotus bow and delivered with a wink and a smile; of course, advantage: you. Thank goodessness, it’s like a miracle sometimes as your non-planning ways almost get the best of you again. So Aries, my stubborn friend, while you’re off shining your inner diamond and writing your personal anthem, don’t forget to slough off those rocky-rough edges with LAURA MERCIER’S FACE POLISH (www.lauramercier.com). A gentle scrubby concoction cleansing and exfoliating skin, leaving it smooth, radiant, and primed for self-tanners, toned as a baby’s beehive for endless luminous bronzer applications. Therapeutic calming action works as a gentle astringent on all skin tones, even sensitive ones, my stinging bee-lady. Just don’t buzz too close to me.
	June shapes up to be such the sexy Taurean month, with all of your favorite things peeping their little heads up all over the scene (these are a few…) – domestic comfort, security, tortoise-paced pleasure, fortune and abundance. While finances are subject to remind you of the Dragon Coaster at Playland, don’t overly stress it if you huck up your lunch in chunks: just sniff some ginger, practice breath of fire and don’t panic. You know ultimately you’ll land up ahead of the reaper. You’re slated to receive gifts or money you had long-ago relegated to the ‘it’ll never happen’ attic of your cerebellum. Loans and other types of support pop-up, especially related to property (hey, check this out, I got some swampland in Swasiland I’m just dying to show you – you love long time). But don’t raise the Captain Jack Black sail just yet or go acting all bullyheaded (as your inner-beast is wont to do), this ‘aint no Disneyland and some miscommunications are likely to manifest (as they are want to do) - tempers flare as the sticky heat mocks us mercilessly. Be extra-thorough with paperwork, endless forms and financial transactions (yes, count your change at the Burger Barn, you’ll need to track every last penny and bill). And be positive, while acting the anal, change-counting bore, that your pretty pouters are sporting the latest in lip fashion, lest you chastise mr. cashier for not forking over every last penny with colorless, matte lips. Oh the harrah! And demonstrate your devastating yodel to boot to the chagrin of all your friends in tow. LORAC’S MOCKTAIL (brought to you by celeb makeup artist Carol Shaw), succulently-flavored (tofu-pup? yummmm), sky-high-shiny lip glosses polish your smackers in glam color and scrumptious flavors (www.sephora.com). And not just any flavors – they’re mocktails, silly - the pride of Derby (forget the horses). They make like your fav tropical drink, like scrum-diddly-umptous fresh baby coconut juice on the side of that dusty route to Encenada. (Not to get all SJP but…) Too-too brilliant… tasty-treaty mocktail-in-a-vial for easy access whenever you need a fruity slurp. They may not be alcoholic, but when you’re jonsing for cocktail hour, just slap on a huge ‘ole swipe on the lips for a teesy boost to tide you over ‘til the sun drops down and the beloved time of day rolls around again. With a pro anti-leak lip gloss brush for easy, flawless application, you won’t miss a drop. Obv, ‘cause everyone has to be a perfectionist at something and drinking cocktails perfectly coiffed is your humanitarian cause and true reason for living! What a momentous combination of your two greatest given talents… you may clink and drink satisfied.
	Personal schemes and up-your-sleeve plots ride bareback on your ass in June (the month of you), Ms. Gemini (yeehaw). So roll up your sleeves, spit-shine your cowgirl boots (hok-tuey) and climb up on that hog ‘n ride it (choo-choo). Strong health and vitality is most definitely in the cards (damn this reads like a Chinatown fortune cookie) and you find yourself in the unique position to take big, huge valley-elf strides in personal relationships (and don’t screw it up cuz you know how airy you can be!). Although some revisiting of the financial-brain-lobe is prudent and necessary, negotiations seem to go your Gemini way and understandings may be reached - whether by notarized contract or handshake on the golf course over 5-martini-games. It’s all legit with mutable-you and your garlic-stuffed-olive is your word. This is an excellent month for clearing the air and Renuzit just isn’t cutting the ketchup, so psyche yourself up for clear-and-logic mode, ground yourself with a Pet Rock - yes, believe, you can do eet. And keep in mind that if you’re not extremely precisely exacting in your communications, the probability runs high that you will be misunderstood (insert any of a thousand ‘f*ck-up’ song lyrics here) and screw it all up! And hey, that ‘aint the sexy type of screw, so you want no part of that jazz (bi-bow-bow-bow). Take stock of your marbles and ground that flighty-Gemininess with LAURA GELLER’S CHEEK SWEEPS, more hyped than Sweeps Week (www.laurageller.com). A handy-dandy set of two palm-sized domes of sheer, creamy cheek color, much more dainty to whip out than pinching your own cheeks to heirloom tomato oblivion. Stroke and blend on shimmery shades of the 2 Pops: Primrose and Peach for a fresh flush of color (not even going there, you dirty birdy). PS: This stuff will look rockstar stellar in the clinkie, Mz. Heiress, in such beautiful glowing hues, sure to impress the guards and gain special favour, small enough to burrow deep inside your mattress. Psyche and yickaheehaw, yer goin’ to the slammer!
	Free your miiind and the rest will follow – all those nagging financial issues bedraggling your brain and dragging your mood down lately alleviate themselves with a wave of the creative-problem-solving magic wand, like a grown-up, femmy Harry Potter. And you are absolved in June, my Cancerian daughter, my side-stepping amiga. As your natural inclination is to retreat into that crustacean shell (gee, just a wild guess), this is primetime to find time to align with your inner muse – she will guide you, like a beacon in the night fanning the flames of… inspiration. He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans… indeed, spacing-out and fantasizing will actually foster the courage to chase down your goals (like a Red-Bull-‘n-vodka-on-a-rope just beyond LiLo’s reach), no matter what third grade teacher scolded you. Tension on the job falls within the ‘high probability’ range, but opportunities for success are abundant nevertheless. So don’t you go off and all blubber and despair - it’s about creativity and flow this month and you’re already in the eye of the storm. You’ll be spurred into action with an added burst of energy and a big push to fly you through July. Your muse returns with a bang (and a zippy tune) when ESTEE LAUDER’S BODY PERFORMANCE GOLDEN comes to town for summer (www.esteelauder.com). Feel her skin, feelin' silky smooth, color of cafe au lait, (sing it with me girls) enhancing the beauty of skin with a hint of queenly color, softly pearlized moisturizing formula with vitamin E and aloe gives skin a gradually-developing golden afterglow, reaching maximum intensity after one week (voulez vous coucher avec…). Imperfections fade away and skin is luminous, soft, soothed and hydrated. Mistake-proof and quick drying, these ultra luxurious formulas work in synergistic splendor to give you the whole girly shebang... slimmer, firmer and smoother skin. Now that’s something to muse on… and to be adamantly admired for. ‘Fabulous skin, mistress.’
	This month of June is all about claiming your power, Leo, just like your creature-namesake. So embrace that queen of the jungle persona and rise with the sun to roar your mighty bellow. Spruce up those newly lightened locks and extra-crispy-crème-frosty tips and step out onto the walkway, you’ve got miles to strut before you can rest on your considerable haunches. Your magnetism is sky high and your social calendar bursting at the seams, your little black book frayed and worn at the edges from all the action it’s seeing (hey, pass it along it me, I could use a once-over at your all-important ‘eligible’ numbers section!). Don’t rest on your lamb mid-month though, when creative energy flows through you like the display of teenage angst on YouTube. You conceive of a new project mid-month, but now isn’t the time to attack it. Just tuck it into your arsenal and attend to the minutiae for now. Just like stalking prey with calmness, reserve and strategy - which you’re oh-so-practiced at - know when it’s time to pounce. Romantic tensions can prove the tiniest thorn in your enormous paw (did he or didn’t he - but it did look a trifle bad with that breasty blonde on the cover of NY Pos… A-Rod), but needn’t be the end-all-be-all of incidents. Just stay extra vigilant and you’ll come out on top by taking the lead. And of course be sure that you look your very best, as in the brows match the curtains (if you get my drift). Ensure absolute rapture at the sight of your perfectly-crafted eye-frames with the able assistance of ANASTASIA OF BEVERLY HILLS’ BROW EX-PRESS (www.sephora.com). This complete palette of perfection is the ideal on-the-go-jungle-hopping kit for premium Hollywood-approved eyebrows anywhere (the ghost of Betty Davis will be wresting you for control – hand over that slanted brush, you witch!). Turn your temples into a temple of forehead worship with all the brow essentials you could ever imagine in one neat little compact: four brow stencils for various brow shapes and styles, two brow powders in your shade range (blonde or brunette), an angled brush for tidy application, cream highlighter to glow the brow bone, and wax cream for the ultimate all day long hold. As we all know, an errant eyebrow line or disobedient stray can simply ruin your Leo-day! I mean, can you imagine plucking an entire lion body into girly shapes and stencils? Good gracious me, no – then just stick to those alluringly arching eyebrows, thank you very much.
	June is the time to pull back and see the big picture, lady Virgo, peep from a new P.O.V. So, yank off those blasted pinz-neez and rack focus on that magnifying glass scrutinizing your life. Flip over a new fig leaf, paying extra attention that all your girly bits are well covered, mon dieu (and here I could list a whole slew of young ladies whose hooha’s are daily strewn across the I-net for all the world to see - but it’s just too cumbersome and frankly, you already know), electric slide past small hiccups and see through to the future. While some miscommunication smudges appear on the horizon (not nearly as fabulous as smudgy bedroom eyes): broken appointments (I know how that drives you to the brink of internal combustion, picayune-mistress), missed phone calls (urg, how did that voicemail magically appear with no missed call logged, meh?!?). But despair not, June just happens to be a standout month for business, finances and career - uh how long have you been turning blue to hear those words outta my fingers, Virgo? You’re suddenly on the A-List phone roll and right on cue, the fricka-frack machine comes a’calling (looking for a quote or something, but you’re too busy yadda-yahing already to respond). Kathy Griffin stalks you with her microphone at the ready, that’s how currency you are. You feel pleasantly desirable – yes, Virgo honey, face it, you’re enamored of yourself. Old problems disappear with creative solutions in the workie sphere, and support arrives from loved ones ($$$???) and your superiors (dag, it’s like being an heiress to a matzoh fortune). Romance abounds in the privacy of your secret lair, so be sure you’re prepared from the get-go. You feel inspired and self-possessed, envisioning a new vision of the future, your sense of worth and bravado are passing the big dipper, to the outer reaches of the solar system: translation = you’re feeling fiiine, honey-sugar. You’re all sassy and in the mood, you’re primed to get squeaky clean right down to your soles (and beyond). So strike it up with BOBBI BROWN’S BUFFING GRAINS FOR FACE, another true BobbiB innovation (www.bobbibrown.com) to savor. Luxurious grains (of Japanese Adzuki Beans) are mixed with any cleanser or water to create a fully customized, gentle exfoliator for the face. Smoothes, removes dry surface patches, encourages skin cell turnover, renews and refines your complexion. What’s more back-to-nature than rubbing some dancing triple-time salad on your face? With a little onions, chili powder and soy sour cream we could get a cart, start rolling it down the street and really be in biznass! How’s that for a boost to your finances? I’ve got the brains, you’ve got the looks…
	June rings in on its own tangent (it’s fickle like that, nothing to be done, beating its own drum). So resist succumbing to chaos, becoming consumed by too many details and crap to tick off your to-do list. Harken back to your impartial roots, logical Libra, and re-focus your giant peepers on the bigger picture. Wise maneuver. Renew bonds with friends and partners, grab opportunities by the horns and wrestle them into your corner like it’s your high school boyfriend sucking face and breaking your heart all over again in one fell maneuver. Communication is key to success and affection, so ditch all the backstage courtroom drama and come right out and say it, for bejeeber’s sake! Pre-existing misunderstandings and misgivings have a miraculous way of dematerializing, poofta into pure air (don’t you wish it were that easy, Tom Delay, Scooter Libby, Alberto Gonzalez, Monica Goodling, and remainder of the screwed DOJ peanut gallery?). A bona fide case of wanderlust takes hold as your desire to stick a straw in travel and adventure and suck it down (like a Frappaccino-addict jonsing for that satisfying-gratifying frozen (crack) relief of the chemical-smoothie high pie in the sky… aah, yah). There runs a high probability of satiating that lust, but first you must sport lustily shimmering skin, refracting light every which direction like a crystal prism, a unicorn’s horn, the eyes of a child, or Tom Cruise without his Ridalin fix (insane in the membrane). BECCA’S SHIMMERING SKIN PERFECTOR SPF 20+ (by Australian makeup artist Rebecca Morrice Williams) is a water-based moisturizer with fancy iridescent shimmer particles reflecting light, creating even-toned, healthy, and glowing skin (www.sephora.com). It’s like that gleam in your smile, but for your derm, making you feel all like: I’m-a-fairy-princess-taking-the-modern-world-by-storm, my-feet-smell-like-cream-puff-cupcakes-dipped-in-chocolate-and-snow-flakes - yah that’s how tasty you’ll feel with glimmery skin on display all over the place, especially on that omnipresent endless line around the corner at Magnolia’s, cloyingly annoying, yet worth the drooling wait nonetheless.
	Steely Scorpios stumble from the darkness of Pan’s Labyrinth out into the bright light of spring-that-feels-like-the-height-of-summer already. Like a beacon on the horizon, the heavenly visage of a Pink Berry yogurt portal to a netherworld shines in the near distance, with no line in sight. Yes, indeed, you stepped in shit and attained nirvana by fluke, it is a grand day by all accounts, both spiritual and Freaky Friday. So boogie on out, sistah, over the borderline, booorderline. You’ll see how everything turns all Age of Aquarius and shite, as all those career and domestic train wrecks just disappear from your life as if by magic. Let the sun shine… let the… Honest to Betsy, just keep your nose down, keep on keeping on that positive tip and everything falls into its s’place miraculously. Clarity reigns queen as your chi starts a’flowing again through that venom-poker of yours, aaah so… love your astrologer, love her... Support comes’a calling at your door just in the nick of the moment, you know how you’re always saved by the bell! (Although Mr. Belding has been looking less than fit lately, I do think he may need an emergency visit to Nurse.) Finances and intimate matters take center stage in early-month, with adventure and exploration taking over later on. Relations on the job become especially easygoing and pleasant after the first week of June, when social invitations start flooding in (hopefully with the words ‘gala’, ‘black tie’ and ‘tea with the queen’ boldly printed on the card). Ees like buttah, this month Scorpio, so enjoy a schtickle schmeared on sprouted hemp toast and burned to perfection – I love that, it’s so perky. Yer starting to roll like a regular fat-cat, and you’re liking the feel of its flux (just like the Clintons, shuttled to the tropics on private jets for ‘campaign’ related ventures for the price of an ordinary first-class ticket – naaaice). Opportunities, gifts, rewards and recognition come your way, and you keep that fat-cat’ess status rolling with VALERIE BEVERLY HILLS’ FAT FURRY MASCARA, creating the fiercest, fringiest lashes this side of Ms-America-falling-on-her-ass-in-Mexico, baby (www.valeriebeverlyhills.com). Glossy, clump-free, never flakes or smudges, just like that romantic interest of yours (wishful thinking). Available in Black Widow hue, for those Crocodile Hunter/ Indy Jones adventuresome types, I say: vamp it up, spider-lady!
	Okay fiery-Sagi, your noble horse spirit is off racing at the derby in the romance and partnership departments. Which is all good and yadda-yah for you, but there are some hanging-chad communication ‘issues’ from the past reemerging. But don’t fade away into the fray and play the avoidance hide-and-go-seek game. That’s for big babies, which you ‘aint – so you gotta work it, mami work it… And although miscommunicados are possible (nay even probable), resolving outstanding tensions will ultimately leave you in the driver’s seat (which is good, unless you’re George Michael, who has practically made an art-form of snoozing in cruise-mode). If you’re single, you just found the gravy train, so hitch-up your caboose ‘n ride it – woo-woo! Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later, lovely? Your magnetic persona grabs more attention than emaciated famous-for-being-famous spoiled kiddies on the brink of colossal nuclear meltdown. Love belongs to you, honey-baby, so tuck it into your arsenal and get groovy with it. Your fabulousness extends from the tips of your frosty extensions right down to the perfume tucked behind your tanned knees, to the drama you’re rocking with flawless eyecolor perfection, as in PAULA DORF’S EVOLUTION OF COLOUR: four ultra silky, powdered, cashmere eyeshadows in a luscious lil’ compact (www.pauladorf.com). Create endless crease-resistant, long-wearing looks for working the scene all night long, waaay past closing of course (unless you’re under age, in which case we mos def won’t serve afterhours). I wonder if I have lost my inner dialogue, what with all this time travel and cryogenic freezing. Not that would be tragic. That’s entertainment.
	June is shaping up to be a lovely little month for you, Cappy. Work, health and xyzpdq matters absorb much of your time (and thoughts), however you are especially productive nonetheless. You might possibly be a teensy bit unfocused mayhaps, as is the case at times. But true to your agile ways, rewards and other forms of support are likely to arrive, and irksome money problems dematerialize, like the problems-transporter-transponder is activated and kicked into high gear and no one is the wiser. Old issues resurface with a partner, drawing your attention to relationship matters and the need for compromise. Opportunities, respect and admiration come your way so don’t dilly-dally, it’s time for you to step up to the forefront, bury old insecurities and really take the Hamptons by storm. Situate yourself conveniently on the cutting edge of all matters both beauty and presentation so you can reflect your luminosity right back at your ardent admirers. SUE DEVITT’S E-Z EYESHADOW in a rattle-style dispenser, brings out the big kid in you who just wants to play with grandma’s make-up (and daddy’s car, which got you in a whole heap of trouble with the law and really should be avoided in the future, um-kay?). Only this time it’s like space age technology - revolutionary eye shadow contraption keeps you on the forefront of beauty expertise, with this stunning roll-on for your eyelids (www.suedevittstudio.com). Perfect attention-getter after hot yoga class in the steaming summer when cute yoga instructor flirts with another girl, but then noticing your glowing peepers across the room, ditches his boring convo for a much more lively exchange with you (and your singular Betty Davis eyes). Uh, yah, now would be the time to pour it on. Refreshing and freshening roll gives a whole new meaning to rolling your eyes, and you know how much I love to break-out that classic maneuver (especially in the workpalce) Coat eyes in shimmering color with this pigment-rich formula by simply giving the handy-dandy little bugger of a bottle a shake, rattle ‘n… roll the soft color onto the eyelids. Blend with fingertips and layer for added intensity and voile! Instant drama, you goat-fish-leaping-magical-unicorn-lizard, you, who beats the other yoga-beotches hands-down at standing bow pose and battling for the sweet, sweet affections of the darling hip-hop yoga guru currently flirting with yet another girl. Curses!
	What’s more Vegas, baby, Vegas than romance, entertainment and the good times a’rolling at cha-cha-cha, Aquarius? You’re so money, baby, it’s like Vince Vaughn tapped your brain stream, sucked out your inner dialogue, filtered it through a slotted wooden spoon and spouted it from his mouthpiece. Kind disturbing conceptually… actually. Your creative abilities shoot about as high as that old-man-rock in the sky. Adventure and speculation suddenly appeal to your new Vegas sensibility (maybe with a sliver of Atl City east-coast sentimentality – east side!). You’re all hepped ‘n pumped (also known as pimped) to take the plunge and see what comes what may… I’ll tell ya what - in the wake of your dice-throwing escapades, romance and socializing follow in that sinful (= fun) state of mind you got going on, you lucky-lucky stooge. Yickety-yacking with interesting characters stimulates the personal-relationship lobe in your noggin, leading you toward answers to riddles of the intimate kind that had previously eluded you. Take a tip from a real nun, petunia, revel in the honeymoon excitement of a new romance or creative project mid-month, you lucky watery beyatch. Savour it. And with fair warning, you’d better have your entire ‘intimate house’ in order, if you know what I’m saying. Wouldn’t want to get caught off guard, ya know, feeling bedraggled and kinda… fug, no love. LAURA MERCIER LIP KISSES keeps your smackers sheer and high-gloss gorgeastic (www.lauramercier.com). So you can go ahead and reel in that new pursuit in under two seconds flat and keep him on the deep-sea dangle for as long as you wish Always protected against desert elements, with sunscreen to keep ‘em pillowy soft, hydrated and dewy, good enough to chew you with, my dear. Far more appetizing than that blasted buffet of crusted chicken in chunky pineapple glaze that seems to stalk the buffet connoisseur all over the second-rate casino, that’s fer tootin’ sure!
	June is a month for soldiering forward, dear Pisces. For lumbering onward and upward - just be sure it’s all duded-up in your sexiest undies, you know the ones with the lacy black waistband, and sucking back a Jello shot with Froze Fruit ‘n vodka, goes down swimmingly. (Ya might as well look randy as you march to and fro, no?) I’m just saying – get it together - it’s time for action and reaction. Even with mere gills to push you forward, your business life swishes ahead at a brisk clip, fulfilling more than just your wallet (dirty birdy – yes, indeed, more of it, more). Ees a good time all around. Domestic affairs are numero uno on your über to-do list; and pragmatism wins the bout and irons out some old wrinkles in your life’s fabric. Damn, those handy-dandy life irons surely do come through in a pinch! Sounds new-agey? Ees possible. Good financial and business news arrives like a strip-o-gram delivered personally by Liev Schrieber, rolling the verbiage of ‘Talk Radio’ off his lilting tongue, delivered in his shorty-skivvies exhibitionist style, and drawing pictograms of the entire play on the air. Okay, that’s my own ding-dong fantasy but I’m sure we can all agree... hoottt stuffin, honey. But to get back to you… work-related problems go bump in the night and then succumb to the mystery of spontaneous combustion. Don’t you wish your goddamn credit card bills did the same – never to be seen again?! Adding fire to life’s little ironing board, BOBBI BROWN’S INTENSIVE SKIN SUPPLEMENT steps right up to the wrinkle-guard plate and hits the crap outta it (between shortstop and third, duh!) (www.bobbibrown.com). An advanced, multi-benefit serum improves skin's appearance, white birch extract reduces the look of fine, dry lines and grape extract clarifies and brightens for firmer, smoother, more even-toned and radiant skin. You’ll be all hep to show off your curvy smooth punim, rendered flawless with this wonder serum, preventing the visible signs of aging and all that good stuff. (How about invisible signs like cynicism, cronyism and conservatism, how about them apples, hmm?) I know it’s a long road until January 20, 2009, but we’ll get there somehow, together.