By Razi Schwartz
So, I don’t want to point out the obvious or anything but … exercise isn’t exactly awesome. Personally, I think it’s bullshit, and I wouldn’t do it if society’s crap-ass told me that it is perfectly acceptable to consider channel surfing physical activity. It’s just not enjoyable – granted, you get to buy cute outfits in which to exercise, but then they get all f-ing sweaty and it’s not like all of us are blessed with washers and dryers in our apartments so you’re wearing the same few sweaty items until laundry day rolls around. And then, of course, we inevitably pull something and just hope to god it doesn’t make us walk funny the next day. And then it’s all shot to hell in a handbasket because I’m so damn proud of myself for exercising that I then go out and get a burger from the Corner Bistro with some fries and a McSorley.
Ok, so I know that there are clear benefits to exercising or everyone wouldn’t be doing it – peer pressure rocks! But, among those who do exercise our burger demons there are different levels – those who begrudgingly partake, those who gladly participate, and those who can’t live without it like a newborn without a nipple. I like to put marathon runners into that last category. Defend it all you want, but any activity that may or may not result in peeing blood is just psycho … in my humble opinion, of course.
So, where am I going with this??? Great question. Ever heard of Silk Day Spa? It’s totally faboo – and this shouldn’t be a case of peer pressure rocks because I’m right and you should just believe me. So, in honor of the impending marathon season (if there is a marathon season, it might just be a single marathon…which would probably be the New York Marathon…let’s face it, it’s not like I know the difference), Silk is introducing two new specialized massages just for you psychotic runners: The Silk Pre-Marathon Tune-Up and The Silk Post-Marathon Detox Massage.
The pre-marathon massage, being offered from November 2 until November 5, uses techniques such as jostling, vibration and tapotement to invigorate your muscles before you destroy them…again, only my humble opinion. The massage includes a 40-minute massage and a 20-minute reflexology treatment.
The post-marathon massage, being offered from November 6 until November 10, focuses on healing and soothing your abused muscles – the exact opposite from the pre-marathon massage that wanted to jazzercise you up for the main event. (I’m all for the soothing and healing shit, you?). This massage also concentrates on detoxing your muscles and re-oxygenating them so as to eliminate the metabolic toxins quicker. Yes, apparently your muscles develop toxins due to exercise. But it’s awesome for you, so keep running.
Each of the massages lasts for one hour, and costs $120 each. Sports massage is one of the more underestimated tools available to atheletes (a.k.a. crazy people) today. I don’t understand why? I say skip the wear and tear and go straight to the massages. Do you think anyone would notice if I slipped in there and told them I running the marathon in my mind?
Silk Day Spa: 47 West 13th Street. Call for an appointment at (212) 255-6457. For more information, check out http://www.silkdayspa.comwww.silkdayspa.com