City Pulse

By Jennifer Wright

Everyone knows that dating in New York is supposed to mirror an episode of Sex and the City. We’re supposed to be pursued by gorgeous, fascinating – albeit oddly incompatible – men, who we have exciting adventures with, before deciding that we are oddly incompatible with them. So why does dating so often seem more like a Woody Allen film? Following a few simple tips just might help turn your first date experience from Annie Hall to Carrie Bradshaw.




Go straight from the office. Spend some time getting ready for the date, whether that just means a quick clothing change or a more lengthy primping session. Doing so will insure that you not only look your best, but feel your most confident.

Reveal your neurosis right away. Any disconcerting facts about you from “I tend to drool a lot in my sleep” to “I am secretly employed by the Mafia” can wait until at least the third date. At this point, you still don’t know the person quite well enough to reveal everything about yourself. If you embark on a relationship with the person, there will be plenty of time to reveal those facts in the future.

Obsess over the menu. A date should be fun, not an instance to obsess over whether eating a salad will make you seem dull, or ordering dessert will make you seem like a glutton. Order whatever you would order if you were on a great night out with a friend.

Ask overly broad questions. The frequently employed “tell me all about yourself” is too vague a question for anyone to answer fully in less than an hour, and can, on particularly unfortunate occasions, lead to someone recounting their childhood on a small farm in Iowa in mind-numbing detail. Try to keep questions light and upbeat so as to allow for easy back and forth banter.


Smile. Nothing is worse than being on a date with someone who doesn’t seem happy to be there. Even if the date doesn’t seem to be going well having a positive outlook can help turn things around.

Be nice to the waiter. Everyone knows that how you treat the waiter on the first date is a good indication of how you’ll treat them six months down the road.

Turn off the cell phone. Any calls you have can wait until the end of dinner.

Ask questions. You wouldn’t be out with someone if you didn’t think they were interesting. Even if you have absolutely no interest in something your date is talking about if you ask them why they find it interesting, or what about an activity appeals to them, you may find it to be something you can appreciate. And your date will appreciate you for taking an interest.



Hopefully, following these simple tips will help you reign in a Mr. Big. But with the upcoming Sex in the City movie, we’ll see if that’s a good or bad thing.

Originally published November 2007
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