Hodgepodge mishmash of goodness

Helloooooo everyone. Today, I feel like sharing a wealth of information – some timely, some random, all truly fabulous.

Silhouette This
So, the first piece of randomness I’d love to share is that I have found the world’s most AMAZING female tailor. Well, a tailor who specializes in female clothing. She also happens to be a lady herself. Ladies are abound, essentially. The studio is called Silhouettes and Profiles, and it’s run by two women named Brenda and Irene. I have to tell you how much I love these women – they are like the Einstein’s of hemlines. I’ll share a personal experience I had recently, just to give you an indication of the level of fabulousness we’re dealing with…I go in with a pair of pants that I need shortened. I tell Brenda that I want to wear the pants with…wait for it…heels AND a kitten heel. Tricky tricky tricky. And…lo and behold, she just a little pin there, a little nip there and voila, I have pants that I can wear with both pedi-options. I’ve had them rework dresses, skirts, blouses, pants – I’d let them help me birth my first child if I could, but I kinda like the gyno I’ve got now. It’s hard to find a good one, you know.

Silhouettes and Profiles. 160 W. 71st St, 2nd floor (between B’way and Columbus). 212.877.3372.

Who are you calling Vintage?
On to my next bit of bag of treats. Raise you’re hand if you’re sure…uh, I mean, if you like Vintage Clothing. In my case, I’ll raise it for both, because I’m fer darn sure I love me some vintage clothing. Granted, sometimes I’ll go into a vintage clothing store and walk out with an asthma attack and in dire need for a shower – but…when you find a realm gem…oooooh nelly is that something you call your most obligatory friend to brag about. So, why not go to one place where all the fabulous finds will be in one place, and will save us that looong trip to Woodstock or wherever else vintage dresses, sweaters, and jewelry live?

Yes, believe it or not, all this vintage goodness does live in one place, even though I sensed you doubting me at the end of the last paragraph. The Manhattan Vintage Clothing and Antique Textile Show and Sale is going to be at the Metropolitan Pavilion on February 3rd and 4th. Come to gaze and admire or come to spend every last nickel in your wallet. The show only happens, like, three times a year, so…uh…you certainly don’t want to miss this because who knows if you’ll be busy when the other two happen. I mean, come on, I can tell you you’re not going to be busy on Feb 3rd and 4th. Oh, wait, yes you are, you’re going to be at the Metropolitan Pavilion.

Manhattan Vintage Clothing and Antique Textile Show and Sale
Friday, February 3rd – 1:00 PM TO 8:00 PM
Saturday, February 4th – 11:00 AM TO 6:00 PM
Metropolitan Pavilion: 125 West 18th Street (Between 6th & 7th Aves)
Admission $ 20.00. BONUS AWESOMENESS – Save $5.00 off Admission Price if you join the VIP Invite List at http://www.manhattanvintage.com/vip.shtm

Just a little bit to the left, no down, oh yep, that’s the spot
OK, get your minds OUT OF THE GUTTER. My next tidbit to make you drool is not muddy like you’re channel 35 minds though it was. I found two massage fellers in the city that are SUPERB, and I couldn’t keep the good news to myself. Of course, I know I’m going to end up screwing myself in the end because now there will ALWAYS be a wait for a massage, but…part of this job is being selfless like that, so here it goes. You know how those nail salon backrubs are usually completely shotty and, well, crap, but we do it anyway just because we’re dying for a little backrub? Yeah, I know. So…check out the Think Pink Nails on 58th (just west of 5th) or the Bloomie’s Nails on 2nd Ave (between 7th and St. Marks). Now, I’m not saying go and get a waxy poo or a facial, but…a nice backrub…sure, go ahead treat yourself.

Think Pink’s man of the hour’s name is David – be sure to ask for David. He’s fantastico. I don’t know the name of the guy at Bloomie’s, but…he’s there everytime I go, so you should be in good hands. Ha ha. Get it? Both of the guys use qi (pronounced “chi”), which is Chinese for “energy feel good awesomeness that makes knots in your back go away.” Ok, I don’t know if that’s the literal translation, but I know that there is no way in the English language to explain it because we’re just not that deep. But however you want to look at it, using qi during these massages is killer – you’ll feel the knots melt out of your body. Now, why do I share such news? Well, it’s kind of rare to find a little pit stop back rubby place that offers such a … useful pit stoppy backrub.

To be totally honest with you, I’ll actually go out of my way to get a little rub now and then from these fellers. It’s that awesome and costs, oh, like $13. Cannot beat it. Nope, Nope, you cannot.

Shhhhh, it’s a secret…
My last tidbit is a big ole secret that I’m going to build up over the next week and then reveal next week at sometime in the middle of one of my articles. That way I’ll know if y’all are really reading what I’m writing.

Basically, here’s the story…I’m coming forward with the truth because I no longer have to live the moniker of a life I’ve been living. Drumroll please…ladies and gents, Razi Schwartz is not my real name. I’m sorry if any of you feel upset by this JT Leroy-ish move. Ok, the only thing JT Leroy-ish about this is the name thing, because everything else is totally my own life. For reaons which shall continue to remain anonyfab, I couldn’t use my real name to write my column. But now, those reasons are no more, so…my true self will come forward.

Ok, I won’t build it up, because then it’ll be totally anti-climactic when I reveal my true self to be Hilary Duff. Uh, I mean…