By Jennifer Witt
I should have been a dentist with my proclivity towards people with fresh breath, white teeth and a great smile. But I couldn’t imagine hacking four years of dental school, hence I pursued other avenues of interest that didn’t require a masters degree. Still, I’m an ardent fan of good oral hygiene and pride myself on my devotion to a thorough brushing, flossing and fluoride-rinsing routine.
Unfortunately, I’ve realized that many of my fellow contemporaries don’t necessarily share my obsession with fresh, minty breath and pearly-white teeth. In fact, I am often thwarting the advances of those who talk a little too close, with breath a little too stale. Usually, I find myself cornered by an acquaintance who has consumed garlic bread for dinner and onion-flavored ice cream for dessert (if there is such a thing).
I once even broke up with a guy because his breath was a little fishy. At first, I thought it was a ‘fluke,’ based on our dinner of fresh seafood at City Crab. But soon enough, it became sadly apparent that I would have to endure the ‘catch of the day’ scent – or shall I say ‘catch of the date’ scent every time we went out and soon grew tired of life by the ocean.
Fortunately, for anyone afflicted with a similar neuroses, I am advocating the newly launched “Breath Palette,” a line of flavored toothpastes and mouthwashes invented in Japan and now available in the States. A more evolved way to brush your teeth, Breath Palette’s fruity and exotic flavors turn a daily chore into a daily treat.
With 32 flavors to choose from including “Sweet Salt” (I would guess this to be the perfect remedy for pregnant women who covet m&m’s and pickles as a midday snack), “Pumpkin Pudding,” “L’Espresso” (and I thought people needed a mint to RID themselves of coffee breath) and “Monkey Banana” to name a few. Because variety is the spice of life, you can be adventurous and pick a new taste sensation every day of the month until you hone in on a favorite.
I was inspired by “Flavor Zero,” described as a “mouth conditioner” that normalizes pH balance and is used by chefs and sommeliers to cleanse their palate, so they can taste the true flavor of food and wine.
And in case you’re wondering, brushing with #14, “Indian Curry,” won’t make your breath smell like Lamb Vindaloo – the flavor lasts for a few fleeting moments before being replaced with a light menthol finish (buyers caveat: I won’t say I wasn’t craving some Samosas and Naan after test driving this particular fragrance).
All natural and sugar and alcohol-free make this sensorial experience reminiscent of Violet’s three-course dinner gum at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
Most important, you need not worry about end-of-night kisses with future suitors. A dose of “Fuji Apple” is a pleasant surprise any day over an indelible fear of Halibut.
*Available May 1st
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