By David Sobel

As a traditional guy, I assumed it was my responsibility to follow up with a woman after a first date if I’m interested in seeing her again. I still feel that way, but texting has definitely allowed for flexibility with standard rules of contact. These days, it’s not so unusual for a woman to send a guy a message after the first date and let him know she really enjoyed it. It’s happened to me a couple of times, and for the most part, I’ve liked it. Why wouldn’t I? Everyone likes getting an ego stroke.

The beauty of texting a guy is that it’s less forward than a phone call and more empowering than the usual guessing game. This can be helpful in situations where he enjoyed himself, but he’s teetering about going out with you again due to a bad day at the office or something else that’s clouded his thinking. Let’s face it, first dates can be downright exhausting, and no matter how much we strive for complete openness, we’re not always as prepared as we’d like to be. Giving him a thumbs-up can help spur the process along.

But it’s also important to know it won’t change his mind if it’s already made up. A pleasant text won’t create chemistry that isn’t there, nor will it turn a guy off who is totally attracted to you. And calling is a big no. You are woman. You have power. Why give it up by picking up that cell and talking into the receiver? A text is more than enough. If you’re game, you have nothing to lose by taking a chance and hitting the send button.

Have a different opinion? Email me at

Social Media: blurb: Ladies, wonder what a guy thinks about you calling or texting after a first date? Read our Dating section this month for insight!

Keywords: first date, calling after a first date, texting after a first date, dating, dating advice, women calling after a date, women texting after a first date

Originally published November 2012
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