By Lucille De Jesus


I never found dating to be all that difficult. Boy meets girl. Boy asks girl out. Boy and girl enter a relationship and boy and girl copulate. Or, boy and girl copulate then enter a relationship, or copulate and end up in some weird “hooking up” limbo. Maybe the boy and girl copulate and the girl has to walk home in shiny high heels, never to hear from the boy again… Easy, right?

Or so I thought until I found myself smack dab in the middle of the seduction community, working for a dating coach company. What I had failed to realize in all my years of experience was just how important the first move is to the whole dating equation (and how much pressure men feel to make that first move). So what do all the timid guys, who have no idea of how approach women, do? Well, if they have the money, they can hire a solution.

With prices ranging to an upwards of $8,000, dating coaches teach eager but shy men how to charm women. Some of them have signed up for this expensive boot camp in order to gain a better understanding of the female sex. In my experience, however, the clientele base of such companies consists of guys who just want to get laid. And my company, “Company X” we’ll call it, delivers.

A week-long program at Company X costs about $4,000, and entitles the client to temporary living quarters among a team of professional dating coaches. Each day, for five days, classes begin in the morning with discussions about approach, rapport, and attraction. “Qualified” teachers instruct clients how to pick up women in a series of settings. Class then breaks in the afternoon for city ventures and direct male-female interaction. “Day game” involves scouring the city for attractive women, gaining their attention and hunting for phone numbers. Some students are even lucky enough to land a date on the spot. Evenings are dedicated to field trips to clubs and lounges, where students try out the techniques they learned that day. At the end of this intense week-long program, the students emerge as barely recognizable versions of their former selves. They have changed.

Armed with an arsenal of tricks and techniques, these men have been educated in how to manipulate women. Don’t rely on them to buy you drinks at the bar, ladies. They have been taught not to do so. Instead, they will ignore you and pay attention your friends in order to provoke your attention. They will call you silly little names, such as baby baboon, to elicit endearing emotions whenever their name pops up on your cell phone. They might even go as far to suggest a game of thumb wrestle in order to break the touch barrier. In short, all those games we thought had been left behind in the schoolyard have been effectively resurrected.

Needless to say, I have some problems with my chosen career path. There is a certain degree of manipulation involved in the pickup artist community that I abhor. There are some men who are genuine in their pursuit for love and come to Company X in order to gain confidence and basic social know-how. There are others, however, who seek to use this knowledge to sleep with a different woman every night. And while it might be difficult to distinguish the more honest men from the womanizers (they have also learned how to fake sincerity), a man’s true colors will always surface in the end. It’s up to you to filter through them all and weed out the would-be pick up artists.

Originally published March 2009



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