Dear Mamas,

I know you spent months preparing yourself and your home for the beautiful homecoming of a new baby. You dreamt of pastels and soft, fuzzy blankets to swaddle your sweet babes. So why do you feel so anxious, so dark? Why are you so flat, when everyone else speaks of joy and coos into your stroller? Maybe you have something more than Baby Blues? Maybe you have Post Partum Depression. I did with my first baby, Jax. And because of those feelings, I felt I had failed. I was supposed to leave the delivery room with my baby and my “best mommy” award to live happily ever after. Then someone handed me a picture they had taken of Jax and I. It was a gift from a loved one to put in my baby keepsake box. I looked so sad through my fake smile, and worse, Jax looked sad too. I knew I had to do something. If this article mirrors your sad smile, please keep reading New York City mamas, because help is on the way.

In order to write this article, I needed to be ready to have some people in my life know this fact about me. So here goes I, Catherine Wayland, AKA “Mama” am outing myself. I had Post Partum Depression!!!!!! God, that feels liberating. Right now you are either laughing at me saying, “What’s all the fuss?” Or that sentence feels very scary.

There are many, many women that like me, who are embarrassed and ashamed to admit that they need help. If you are one of those women, this is my love letter to you. You are not alone. You are beautiful. You are allowed to be all your emotions and mental states. Not just the nice, comfortable ones. Post Partum Depression is a very real and potentially dangerous condition. Most importantly, it is a common condition that is still not talked about enough.

First let me shock you into outrage and passion so that you can either “out” yourself or support someone who is suffering this condition. When I was pregnant, being the excited thorough Mom-to-Be that I was; I signed up for birthing courses at one of the top 10 birthing hospitals in the country. My husband and I took every class they offered. But there was nothing on Post Partum Depression. Every prenatal doctor’s appointment was with a team of 5 OB/GYN physicians. No one ever brought up the subject.

When I began to think something was wrong when Jax was six weeks old. I had joined two different Mommy groups of over 30 women hoping to find support. We talked diapers, bottles vs. breast, and even colic, but no one mentioned Post Partum Depression. I turned to my books, they were about caring for baby, and there wasn’t anything about caring for the mother. Finally, I stumbled on a book that saved me.

It was a gift from a girlfriend, tucked into a bag of hand me down baby clothes. Thank you Cyn. I love you. You have no idea what you did for me that day. The book “Laughter and Tears: The Emotional Life Of New Mothers,” by Elisabeth Bing. It sells in paperback on Amazon.com for under a $1.00. It should be a $100 it’s so valuable. If you get your girlfriends anything for a shower gift, let it be the one gift. The book had a reference section with a listing for PSI – Post Partum International (www.postpartum.net). I called them in California in the middle of the night. I was scared, shaking and was suffering from diarrhea.

They called me back and gave me information for a coordinating group in New York City. Let me tell all you wonderful Big Apple Mamas about The Post Partum Research Center of New York, Inc (www.postpartumny.org). It was co-founded by two Long Island women, Emily Sampino and Sonia Murdock in 1998. It is the first organization of its kind that supports peri-natal mood disorders! Thank you Sonia and Emily. Thank you. In particular, thank you Sonia, because you returned my call personally. The Post Partum Research Center operates mainly as a telephone support group or helpline. Women act as volunteers for this non-profit organization, donating their time and caring to mothers in need. When they started in 1998, they had 100 calls in the first six months and now they serve thousands. The PRC of New York website is itself a wonderful resource with links to chat rooms (www.ppdsupportpage.com), live video-fed interviews of moms (Substance Television Program/NY1 copyrighted material), reading suggestions, etc.

I think the other very important function that PRC of New York does is Promoting awareness, especially among health care professionals. Again, I have delivered in two different states with two very prominent OB/GYN groups, and no one mentioned post partum depression to me.

I hope this article and love letter to my mamas helps a little too. If you can’t tell already, I am passionate about the subject of Post Partum Depression or PPD. As most people who are passionate about something, it is because PPD is a personal, lived experience for me, Catherine Wayland. I no longer feel shame over it; it has become one of my proudest memories. That day on the phone two years ago, Sonia Murdock helped me win the “best mommy” award. I got off the phone and called my primary care physician for an appointment. After telling my doctor my symptoms and concerns, he ordered anti-depressants and referred me to a therapist.

Within two weeks I wasn’t just going through the motions of being a mommy, I had fallen in love with motherhood. Jax started to smile and people noticed how he had “blossomed.” Jax and I were finally on our road to “happily ever after.” Nine months later when Jax was a year old, I was able to get off the medication and discontinue therapy. For my second child, Brody, it’s been smooth sailing so far. But PPD can strike anytime in the first year of childbirth. This time if it happens, I have resources like Post Partum Research Center of New York, Inc at my fingertips. And now you do too sweet mamas.

So much love to you,

Mama

Hi Mamas! How are you? Good? Some tired? I know, I know. Sit awhile, put your feet up. We just got back from a vacation in Florida – did you know that vacation and mom is an oxymoron? Whew….it’s good to be home. Jax had a blast – and my tired feet have football field yards of home video of swinging laughter, sand-eating grins, ice cream dripping cheeks and water splashing hugs to use as callous balm. But don’t let me forget, I have some more special news. Our CVS test results came back – healthy, healthy new baby on the way. And yes, the gender results are in. What did you think? A girl? A boy? Well, another sweet angel boy is on his way to our home, God willing. Jax can’t stop stomping around celebrating. We are thrilled, elated, and so grateful. And some more good news mamas, I am heading into the second trimester and feeling much better, amen. Now let’s talk pregnant beauty, shall we?

After I crawl out from the dark tunnel of my first trimesters into the light, I like to bulge with beauty. Let’s start with skincare. Did you know that some of the same manufacturers of baby skin care products have some terrific prenatal treats as well. For us city mamas the best place to find these products is a quick visit to your neighborhood Sephora. Sephora has an entire section dedicated to babies and mamas, did you know that? Go check it out. I visited my Times Square location. And yes, in a beauty shop such as Sephora, it can be a little intimidating to march past all the makeup counters of teenagers waddling like a duck. So I didn’t. I pulled my jacket aside and pointed my already big belly out like a compass needle proud and strong, and sailed through like a mighty wind.

Website: www.sephora.com

Let’s start with Mustela – “skincare specialist for baby and future mother.” They have an entire line dedicated to pregnant mamas called “Mustela ® 9 months.” Mustela skin care for babies has been around since 1950, and this line launched (thankfully) in 1999. This line of pampering prenatal mamas all contain a combination of Elastoregulator ™ – a derivative of Soya protein, chlorophycea (green seaweed extract) and other natural ingredients. The product line focuses on the pregnant mama’s special skin sensitivity and tissue distension during the prenatal months. All of the “Mustela ® 9 months” are clinically tested by gynecologists, vein specialists, or dermatologists; tolerance-tested, alcohol-free, gently scented and safe to use throughout pregnancy and while nursing. The line includes: Stretch Marks Double Action (Pre/Post Stretch Mark), Stretch Marks Intensive (Focused on Post Stretch Marks Minimization), Specific Support Bust (hallelujah this product is for me ladies, breastfeeding took it right out of me!), and Instant Comfort Legs (I brought this to Florida). I’m sure my readers are a lot of mamas, but I’m calling out to the papa bears here! Mustela makes a wonderful gift set “The Maternity 9 Month Set” that features all these products – you want to promote understanding and compassion? Go get this right now for your sweet mama doing all that hard work so you can boast of a genealogy! And don’t forget to volunteer to rub some of these products on some nights – you might even find some sweet, sweet mama purrs in response…….mmmmh you know what I’m talking about papa bears.

Mustela takes care of their mama clients pre-natal and post-partum. Thank God someone is thinking of us after the baby comes along. I swear those first three months are very challenging for us mamas and all you ever hear is “How is that precious little one?” I kept my answers lighthearted, but honest – “Pissed to be out and screaming his head off, but I’m fine thank you.” Heeeee… humor was my best post-partum medicine. Mustela carries a wonderful product line called, “A New Life A New You” that contains both new mama and newborn products. For mamas, Mustela offers a Post Partum Body Restructuring Gel that helps to eliminate excess fatty deposits while stimulating the production of collagen to help improve the appearance of slackened skin. Amen. Since this is my second pregnancy I swear mamas, your old body never returns but your new body can look fantastic. Really. I liked it better. So did John. Oohh, la, la. They also carry Ultimate Hydration, an all-over body lotion that soothes, moisturizes, and nourishes dry or irritated skin. For breastfeeding mamas, you’ll love it. The dehydration you feel is total. You’ll want to drink the Atlantic Ocean through your mouth, eyes, ears, skin. And finally, this set includes a wonderful soap-free solution especially formulated for your newborn.

Website: www.mustela.com

Now for Erbaviva. Erbaviva is all about “nurturing with nature.” Erbaviva uses all natural and organic ingredients and promotes a responsible commitment to the environment. We pregnant mamas are especially connected in our emerging belly sisterhood to the big mama of all mamas “Mother Nature” herself. So, Erbaviva is especially fitting during our prenatal months. Erbaviva is also focused in aromatherapy. God knows, there was never a time when my nasal passages were so keenly perturbed and a little loving help there was much appreciated. Did I ever tell you mamas about my pregnancy with Jax when the first person who knew I was pregnant was my Aunt Mo out in California. I walked into her house and said, “Mmmhhh Aunt Mo, you baked some of your yummy chocolate chip cookies for me, you shouldn’t have.” And she responded by looking at me wide-eyed and with loving but firm conviction said, “You’re pregnant!” After all the trouble John and I had been having to get pregnant, I replied with equal, foot stomping conviction, “You’re crazy, why would you say that?” She replied, “I haven’t baked cookies in this house in a week.” Ten days later, and a nauseating distaste for my addiction to Diet Coke, the pregnancy test confirmed Aunt Mo’s homemade prediction.

Among their many wonderful products, Erbaviva has the right idea for pregnant mamas and papas with their Back Rub Oil. The Back Rub Oil contains calming Roman Chamomile. They even advise you that it is “best applied by a partner or friend.” Just what a worried or tired mama-to-be needs at the end of the day. These types of products are wonderful “connectors” for mamas and papas. There are times when after a day of work and an 18-month-old toddler the both of you want to be grumpy, and alone. But I believe strongly that these times are the critical times to connect. Somehow, anyhow. They also carry a Stretch Mark Oil with essential oils including rose and carrot seed. And a Mommy to Be Milk Bath (in sack or jar), containing lavender, lemon, and sandalwood. But remember mamas, not too hot a bath, just warm so we don’t overheat our incubators. Erbaviva also carries a wonderful pregnancy gift set that includes Mommy-to-be Milk Bath, Stretch Mark Oil and Back Rub Oil, all wrapped up in a natural fiber gift bag. You can put that on your list as well papas.
And Erbaviva did not forget about us post-partum either. Erbaviva again comes to the rescue with a calming, soothing oil – Baby Blues Massage Oil. For those weeks after delivery when you need a boost, a lift. This oil contains rose, bergamot and clary sage. Do yourself a favor and go out and get this one while you’re still pregnant. There are very few errands run the first few weeks, and if so, they usually have an item list covering the essentials like diapers. You will need this. You will definitely need this.

Website: www.erbaviva.com

Alright mamas, gotta close here. So happy to be out of the dark tunnel days. Perfect timing cause here comes spring. Here comes the sun, do, do, do, do. Here comes the sun, do, do, do, do. It’s alright. It’s alright. Do, do, do, do, do.

Love,
Mama