Metro Mama & Metro Baby

By Stephanie Ila Silver-Silberstein

Entry #3 – Are you THAT Mom?

I couldn’t help myself. My one-year old daughter’s morning nap depended on it! I simply had to switch my assigned time to meet my 3-year-old son’s teacher to the 9am slot. And with that simple move, I became THAT mom. The fact that my daughter refused to take her nap that day proves that karma really is a bitch.

We all swear up and down that we would never become THAT mom. And yet, somehow THAT mom manages to rear her ugly head in our very own mirrors. We are horrified by the helicopter mom who marches up to the school every other day to complain about one thing or another, we roll our eyes at the mom who can’t stop convincing us that her baby truly loves being a professional model, and we swear up and down that we would never ever bribe our child (but manage to do just that 30 times a day). And yet, we have all been THAT mom at some point since having a child. Don’t deny it! Own it! Here is my list of the top 20 ‘moms’ that I have encountered or…dare I say it…. have actually been at one time or another:

1. The mom all the teachers talk about in the faculty lounge
2. The mom who subtly brags about her child but never acknowledges that she’s doing it
3. The mom who complains all the time
4. The mom who doesn’t complain enough
5. The mom whose world revolves around her child’s nap schedule
6. The mom who reprimands other people’s kids but never her own (but should)
7. The mom who signs her kid up for every class just so SHE doesn’t feel left out
8. The mom who follows her kid around with Purell all day long
9. The mom who spends $200 on a pair of pants for her rapidly growing 3-month-old
10. The mom who calls the doctor for every little scratch

11. The mom whose child is not allowed to eat an ounce of corn syrup
12. The mom who looks better (and thinner) at the Bris than she did before her pregnancy
13. The mom who breastfeeds her kids until they’re eight (or wants to)
14. The mom who says, “I would never….” and then does it 3 months later
15. The mom who posts on Facebook every minute detail and every quote uttered by her child on a daily basis
16. The mom who won’t let her child watch even a minute of TV
17. The mom who never utters the obligatory line: “let me help clean-up” at the end of a playdate
18. The mom who volunteers for every committee, bake sale, and fundraiser and makes all the other moms look bad
19. The mom who thinks her 6-month-old needs to learn how to read
20. The mom who claims not to worry about the New York City preschool admissions process

Motherhood can be challenging to say the least and our survival, not to mention our kids’, depends on our becoming at least one of the moms on this list. And it goes without saying that it’s not only OK to be THAT mom, it’s important to be. I promise, our kids will thank us for it…someday.

Originally published October 2011
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