Metro Mama & Metro Baby

By Missye K. Clarke

The blessed event’s here and sleeping routinely through the night, the nursery’s tricked out with grow-with-baby furniture, themed magazine layout in Snoopy and Woodstock décor and your days are flowing in a standard itinerary.

You, however, feel like a beached cape cod orca.

Equinox Fitness (at offers a Smart Bells Strength class at its 63rd & Lex location. The “Smartbell” -an antonym to “dumbbell” for wax poetic reasons – is an oval shaped 3 to 15 pound weight used in conjunction with a Navy SEALs based workout, so you know it’s tough. Roughly the same size as a Frisbee, the Smartbell and its Strength class focus on 10 core strengthening exercises, using smooth, circular movements, instead of old school weights and pendulum-like swings.

If, for whatever reason you can’t or don’t wish to join a gym but are triple dog dared to try a Navy SEALs body and mind busting workout, check out’s Stew Smith DVD and paperback manual on The Complete Guide to Navy SEAL Fitness: Featuring the 12 Weeks to BUD/S Workout. You want absolute results and not look like Ahnold? This will do it for you and the post baby and holiday pounds us mommies need to sure as heck lose. Or, if you’re brave like me – and I’m so body sore if a Navy SEAL were before me now, he’d truly see a woman scorned fury from me – visit and download a printable version of their PT (performance test) workout. Be warned: This workout is not for the fainthearted. But you’ll get into the best shape of your life. Remember Memorial Day, Miami, 2006 when your tush is on muscular fire.

Okay, eggs on spoons was a long ago picnic game played by your grandparents in the 19th century, most recently being made a game du jour by Nicktoons TV and “Family Double Dare.” But in a workout?

Equinox Fitness may start this chicken/egg debate again with an inventive way to “reintroduce your spine to proper posture.” Incorporating walking lunges, the rule is keeping the egg (what kind of egg, I’m not gonna tell you!) on the spoon while doing the lunges up and down the length of the room, thus, correcting your posture as well as firming the tush. And you’ll take yours in an eggs Benedict or as flan – after the quads loudly bitch and consider open mutiny.

Finally, if water’s your only way to go, try POOLates in Crunch gyms (, a few NYC YMCAs ( and in Equinox. The hook the usual Pilates moves are done in the pool. Standard 100s become 50/50s, first on one leg than the other and basic spine twists become the “Washing Machine” in water. Don’t be lulled about it’s underwater simplicity, however. The intensity is same as is in a regular turf Pilates class, but you don’t feel the burn until after you’re out of the water.

Now … if organizing your clutter were this easy.

Originally published February 2006
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