By Amanda Lerner
Ironically, my Sugar Struggle turned into a Coffee Conundrum. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.
So, I put down the coffee next to the sugar and reminded myself that occasionally we’re meant to feel uncomfortable. The Universe twists us into awkward positions. Then we unravel and grow.
I’m learning to make friends with my emotions.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26
Met the Doctor today. He listened, probed, and assessed. Then gave me some natural herb products to cleanse my organs and colon.
I left the spa with a goody bag that even celebrities would envy. Seems like everything will be easy to incorporate into my daily routine.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27
Parting is such Sweet Sorrow
I’ve been people pleasing again. Promised the doctor I’d go from coffee to green tea overnight. Who am I kidding? You can’t take away My Coffee.
But my PH balance is way OFF.
So, it’s goodbye coffee, cheese and sweets. Hello greens and juicing!
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 28
Traded my 4pm coffee injection for the Doctor’s Detox Drink (parsley, celery, cucumber, lime, green apple, flax oil and spirulina.) Found it surprisingly fresh and good. Brought it on the train. Must have been a leak in the cup. Started trickling out on the floor drip by neon green drip. Tried to suck it up faster than it dripped. Failed. Passengers looked like sitting Rockettes, flinging their feet up as the puddle took on a life of its own. You should have seen the horrified look on Skinny Tan Bitch (STB) as she lifted up her 4 inch beige suede Manolo’s and we all helplessly watched the Green Monster flow up and then downtown.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1
Affection for Confection
Bad news. Organic 70% dark chocolate is out in mini-size. They’re everywhere and it’s killing me. Just wanna whine “I deserve it, don’t I? I’m a good girl” and shove them in all in my mouth. Left the deli instead with a liter of water and a tear in my eye (and a small black coffee hidden in the bottom of the bag).
THURSDAY, MARCH 2
Having issues. Feels like I’m cheating on the Doctor with Joe. This was supposed to be about sugar but I’m far more hooked on coffee.
Passed Starbucks and couldn’t resist. Ordered my Drug in a Mug. ½ Decaf with room for Soy. Improvement. Will decrease again and be on all green tea by Friday. Wait, that’s tomorrow…
SATURDAY, MARCH 4
Slept, sweat, and drank loads of water. I feel like a whole new woman. Getting compliments already. “You look great. You lost weight. Your skin’s so clear.” Music to my ears.
Maybe the coffee is helping?
SUNDAY, MARCH 5
Day 1. No coffee. Me, Myself and I had a marvelous time celebrating the big accomplishment of the day – getting out of bed. Could barely lift head off pillow and then boom. Fell face down into a pit of sorrow.
This must be the emotional part of cleansing.
MONDAY, MARCH 6
TUESDAY, MARCH 7
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 8
Totally useless. Told my coworkers I’m dying. Got busted by boss while nodding off at the computer. Tried to pass it off as an interesting hair flip. Took a catnap on the toilet. Coffee withdrawal is brutal.
THURSDAY, MARCH 9
Gimme some skin. The oils in the omega 3 EFA’s are helping. Spent years searching Sephora for that perfect glow and finally it’s coming from within.
SATURDAY, MARCH 11
Did Hot Yoga to sweat it out. Just what the Doctor ordered. I was in the zone for the entire class. Breathe in Love. Breathe out Fear. Om.
During rest pose, I fantasized about my future boob lift. Not very holistic. So much for meditation. I’ll try harder next week.
MONDAY, MARCH 13
I’m Every Woman
Can we have a moment of silence for those still bloated and suffering?
Today, I broke out the skinny pants! Oh yeah, the size 6ers are ON. Had to lie down to zip ‘em up but it was cute; very 80’s. And brave considering I split them from crotch to bottom last time I tried. Caught a glimpse of my reflection and was like “Damn, girl!” Let me tell you a secret, diary. Thin is out and curves are in. Unless I cut my hips off, they’re here to stay. Goodbye Freakarexia. I’m 35 and coming into my own.
TUESDAY, MARCH 14
Breaking up with Ben (and Jerry)
Vanilla Soy Dream is delicious. Sweetened with brown rice syrup. Ate too much – the entire pint – and passed out in pseudo-sugar coma.
FRIDAY, MARCH 17
If your tolerance for graphic language is low, please skip to Monday, March 20.
Do you want to know what happens when you cleanse the colon? This morning – and I’m not exaggerating – I literally gave birth to an alien. Looked like links encased in plastic. Sorry to be so explicit but is that normal? I don’t know what the hell came out of my body but it was scary – yet totally fascinating.
Hey Doc, the toxins are flying!
MONDAY, MARCH 20
Just a Regular Gal
It’s a Gas-Free, Bloat-Free Day. Hooray! Things keep moving and I feel great. Lost 7 pounds. This is awesome.
TUESDAY, MARCH 21
Bitter Sweet Setback
Sabotage! I gave in and had a piece of chocolate. Okay, it wasn’t just a piece; it was an ENTIRE bar of Swiss Lindt Dark Chocolate…chased with a bar of White Coconut. I thought about calling the Doctor between purchase and ingestion but I didn’t want to be stopped. I feel like a total fraud.
Should I beat myself up? I don’t think so. It’s time to put down the bat (next to the sugar and the coffee).
After all, it’s progress not perfection.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Don’t miss the finale of Diary of a Sugar Addict (Part III of III).
Detailed information on the Advanced Naturals product line included in my detoxification program can be found at http://www.advancednaturals.com. Do not attempt to complete a cleansing program without the supervision of a qualified health practitioner.
Dr. Anthony Salzarulo has a rare gift for gentle, compassionate care and a remarkable track record for helping his clients return to the joy of vibrant, healthy living. He’s available for phone consultations as well as custom-made Detoxification and Cleansing Program at The Great Jones Spa in NYC. For more information, please visit www.holistichealthnyc.com or call him directly at (212) 505-3185.
Great Jones Spa is a magnificent 15,000 square foot, 3 1/2 story luxury spa located on 29 Great Jones Street, NYC 10012. Visit www.greatjonesspa.com to download their complete spa treatment menu or call 212.505.3185 to book an appointment today.