Apple Cider, Pumpking Pie, Whiter Teeth


Hear ye, hear ye: This is maybe one of the only times I will ever do a “follow-up” piece…I just thought it was an interesting topic, so shut it if you’ve got beef with my choice! I am going to assume you all read my piece on teeth whitening from last month’s newsletter (and if you didn’t…I am so hurt, I cannot even get the words out to express it…just kidding…sort of). Well, after I wrote last month’s piece, it occurred to me that there are other “tricks of the trade” that can help in making your less-than-pearly whites whiter. These, of course, are not permanent–they’re actually painfully temporary–but…here’s the fun part…it gives you a beautiful excuse to go out and buy new lipstick/lip gloss/lip stains…YAY!

Which brings me to my topic of the month: lip colors that will make your teeth look whiter. It’s genius, non? For all of you who don’t want to do the whole shebang (I can’t write this word without thinking of the Ricky Martin song “she bangs…” I swear to go there’s no correlation), a nice change of lipstick shade might be just what the cosmetic dentist ordered. Because I love you all so much, and I don’t want you to go out and just buy a lipstick, I have done some research, found some fab colors that go great with that new jacket I bought last week…oh, and of course, they make my teeth look even whiter than they did last month.

You mean my fluorescent orange glitter lip gloss won’t make my teeth look whiter?
Wow, I almost feel like this deserves no comment, and I wrote the damn thing. No, you’re wacky and tacky orangy shades won’t make your teeth look whiter–in fact, they may actually be one of the culprits behind why your teeth look yellow and nasty (plus all the dark fluids you may drink, etc…). If you’re looking to whiten via cosmetics, you need to find reddish/pinkish shades in order to counteract the yellow-ish color of your teeth (or whatever shade yours happen to be). Now, I found that I tend to veer toward peach shades, and I was surprised to find out that peachy shades do not qualify so much as pinkish but more along the orange lines. Go figure, right? So, if you’re actually at a make-up counter, I would ask the ladies which pink/redish shades would go best with your complexion. If you’re at the local supermarket or Rite-Aid, I would leave as soon as I realized I was about to buy make-up from the market/drug store and rush right over to the nearest department store make-up counter. Pardon my snobbisme, but I can’t help myself sometimes.

You will Benefit from these shades of lip loveliness:
Who knows what Shania wasn’t impressed by, but it surely wasn’t Benefit’s new shade ‘o’ red–Shania Red, to be exact. The Canadian country gal turned pop deeeeva has partnered up with Benefit to create this awesome shade. Now, here’s the, like, awesomest part of the whole thing: not only do all proceeds go to the American Heart Association, Shania Red will also brighten your “those are sooooo not Shania’s” teeth. You are such a philanthropist–donating your money to such a good cause…and so what if you happen to look better while you do it. Although Shania’s music will be around forever and ever, Shania Red won’t be–this is a limited edition color folks. That means run–don’t walk–to the closest place that sells Benefit…or just log online like I do. What, I can admit it, why exert myself when I don’t have to?

Now, if red red red, or Shania, just isn’t your thing, Benefit does have other fabulous pinkish/reddish tones in so many different types of products. Their lipsticks come in shades such as Bachelor Pad (and it’s so much better than an actual bachelor pad), Flirt (how you, non?), Such a Red, and so many other fun shades that you can find all listed in one place at

Or, you can opt for the Glamourette Interchangeables, which also come in several awesome shades…how rhetorical is that? what lipstick do we know that only comes in one color…how pleasantville would life be if that was the case…And then there’s one of my personal favorites: Benetint. Benetint now also comes in a lip balm as well as it’s original liquidy form…Um, I don’t even think I need to tell you all how awesome Benetint is–not only does it help make your teeth look whiter, but it stays on FOREVER (and I tested this out once by putting it on before I brushed my teeth, and my lips were still fabulously red…hooray!). No matter how you slice it, I’ll eat a piece of this pie any day.

DuWop this stuff all over your lips, and your teeth will look whiter:
Ok, we all know I’m a fan of the Lip Venom de DuWop…did I mention before that it also comes in COLORS????? Excuse me, but how fabulous is that? Not only can you benefit from a perfectly plumped pucker, but now you can get it in a shade that will also make your teeth look whiter. Modern science…so genius. Ooh, another exciting thing: You’ve also got choices!

Shades of Venom is a high shine lip color that has the tingling powers of the Lip Venom, and it comes in nine shades. The shades I would recommend for teeth whitening purposes are: Azalea, Larkspur, Belladonna, and Angel Trumpet (my personal fave–wear it all the time). There are obviously other colors, and you can see ’em all listed at

If lip gloss is more your cup of tea, don’t fret! There is also Venom Gloss. The name basically says it all–it’s more of a gloss than a lipstick, but it too also makes your lips tingle with all the cinnamon-y goodness of Lip Venom. The gloss comes in twelve shades, and some that I recommend for brightening your smile are: Buttercup, Love-in-a-Mist, Lantana, Tulip, and Snowberry. Again, there are other colors to check out, and you can see them at that very same website that I listed above!

I can’t speak highly enough about this company, and I think it’s totally worth checking out at least one of the many aforementioned colors. Ok, everyone take note–I was able to use the word “aforementioned” in an article…slick, that’s what that was….

In the end, it doesn’t even matter….
Just because I am madly in love with Benefit and DuWop (and I think everyone should be), any reddish or pinkish shade will do the trick in getting your teeth to look whiter sans the money and sans the cosmetic procedures. Well, I guess technically it’s a cosmetic procedure, but you know what I mean. Just remember–pink/red=good; orange/yellow=bad. Unless it’s on a cashmere sweater. Everything is better when it’s cashmere.

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