Rules of Attraction: Feng Shui In the Bedroom


You’ve made your bed, fluffed your pillows and invested in some ridiculously high thread count sheets. You’re officially ready for a relationship, or at least some serious loving, and now it’s time to step out of the house and venture into the singles club. Or is it? According to Feng Shui specialist Ann Bingley Gallops, you may want to take another look around before you leave your house. Because how lucky you get in the bedroom may depend on what’s in it.

Ann Bingley Gallops, Feng Shui specialist.

Feng Shui (pronounced fuhng shwey), Gallops explained, is the ancient Chinese art of creating energy balance in a physical space. Feng Shui relies on four principals: Yin and Yan, the Bagua map, geographic symbolism and the five natural elements (fire, earth, metal, water and wood). Easy, right?

Not exactly. Feng Shui is complicated and can take a lifetime to learn, so don’t let the spiritual jargon scare you. For our purposes, you can think about Feng Shui as a way to send the universe (and potentials) signs that you’re ready and willing. Think about your bedroom like you would think about your body. You know what attracts other people: flirty eyes, slightly parted lips, a confident posture. Well, the same goes for your room.

The first rule to flirting is eye contact. And if you want to attract a man to bed, you have to see him coming through the front door. “The most important thing is to have your bed in the command position,” said Gallops. When you are sitting in your bed, you should be able to see the door perfectly, but not be in the direct line of it.” Sleeping in the far diagonal area away from your door will open you to opportunity and prosperity in the bed, as well as shelter you from unwanted energy.

If you’re standing against the wall at a party, it’s not likely that you’ll be approached. You appear closed off and uninterested, and it shows potentials that your VIP section has a guest list of one. If your bed is pushed against the corner, it will project the same image. “If you’re really interested in attracting a relationship,” said Gallops, “move the bed away from the wall. Making the bed more accessible from both sides indicates that two people are invited here.” So adjust your metaphorical posture and push it a few feet away from the corner and decorate around it in twos. Representing pairs of things, such as candles or pictures of couples, will show the universe that you’re ready to be part of a pair as well. “We want to look at everything around us and give signals that there is room for a happy relationship,” she said.

To achieve ultimate Feng Shui, Gallops suggests getting matching lamps and nightstands to place on either side of the bed.

Now that you know what to do in the bedroom, it’s time to look at some don’ts. The easiest way to go about this is to think about the things in your room – especially things that you can see directly from the bed – and then ask yourself whether or not you would want to look at them during sex. So things like a desk or workstation, exercise equipment, books, plants, mirrors, photos of family and friends and storage items don’t belong in your room. From a Feng Shui standpoint, these bring Yan, or masculine and active, energy into what is supposed to be the most Yin space in your home. Common sense tells us that these things are huge distractions! Do you want to be in the throes of love under the watchful gaze of your photographed mother? Do you want to think about work or exercise or watering your plants while you should be focused on your partner? NO! And whether you agree or not, big mirrors should be the last thing you should have facing the bed. They can be startling during sex and create an aura of vanity rather than intimacy.

If you live in a small apartment, like I do, you probably don’t have extra storage space for Yan items that don’t belong in your bedroom. Luckily, there are some creative solutions. Cover your mirrors and television at night, put up a divider to block your desk from the bed, and move the plants to your bathroom. And voila! Your Shui should be fixed.

These basic steps should move you, and your Chi, happily along the road towards marital or sexual bliss. And if you want to learn more about harmonizing your love life, it is always best to hire a consultant to help. We recommend Ann Bingley Gallops, who has over 10 years of Feng Shui experience and provides at home consultations as well as relationship-focused workshops. She is Beauty News tested and editor approved! (She came to my own apartment, and trust me, she’s fabulous.) You can learn more about her and her services at So good luck, great energy, and happy hunting! A universe of passion awaits you.

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