Celebrate National Topless Day by Going Crotchless

I wore my first pair of fishnets when I was fifteen, it was the summer I discovered Joy Division and Siouxsie Sioux. The slinky, geometric black stockings quickly became a wardrobe staple. It was a Goth Girl summer until I discovered the secret all Goths keep under black-cloaked wrap – summer is miserable. Staying cool (both in terms of vibes and temperature) while swathed under layers of sunlight-absorbing black clothing, capes, and Victorian mourning attire is no easy feat. The best compromise is a pair of cut-off black jean shorts, fishnets, and a velvet top. But there’s a problem that specifically afflicts the fairer-sexed poets of the macabre. One’s flower gets hot, especially so, uncomfortably so, in tights, even fishnets during sweltering summer temps. As nudism in all its happy, sun-loving free love is the opposite of the Goth aesthetic, going nude or topless is not an option, unless you find a stealth solution – going crotchless.

It’s a look and feel on offer from Miss Naughty UK. The British hosiery company specializes in this unsung, convenient feature of modern lingerie. Crotchless hosiery, the user-friendly version of old-school garter belts and tights, offers seductive glam without all the fuss in a variety of finishes, including glossy shimmering ones, sheer shine, ??high-shine, metallic, and Oil Look & Feel Lace Top Crotchless, in a 15 denier to 100 denier range, commonly seen in the concert attire of Beyonce, Taylor, J. Lo. Speaking of concerts, what better way to celebrate summer-loving and music than a pair of cutoff shorts and crotchless tights that bestow diva status with effortless comfort? While you’re enjoying the tunes and the occasional breeze, your flower can too, and maybe even your evening companion…


Gesha-Marie Bland


Not bland at all. Gesha-Marie Bland is an essayist, Vanity Fair-published film and television writer, and unrepentant beauty junkie who jumpstarted her career at NYU’s Master’s Program in Cinema Studies. In homage to her beauty icons Jeanne Moreau, Dolly Parton, and Grace Jones, she is forever in search of the perfect cat-eye liner, a killer pair of heels, and unforgettable statement accessories. Currently NYC-based, this dual American-French citizen still wears all-black and has a soft spot for clean beauty, pharmaceutical-grade actives, and most ingredients sourced from vineyards in the south of France. She loves New Wave cinema, Mary Gaitskill’s fiction, Spain, and matcha double-shots. After selling "The Ripper," her Alexander McQueen-Issie Blow biopic to the Cannes-winning production company Maven Pictures, she remains convinced fashion and couture are the next frontiers for edgy cinematic stories.